Story for Rafiq -- (Author) babyann

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Author: babyann
Timestamp: Oct 29, 2021 at 10:31 AM
Content: “Rafiq” his mommy called.

“Yes Mom,” Rafiq replied with a teenaged sigh, the “what is it now?” going unsaid, but not missed by his Mommy.

“We need to have a serious talk, Rafiq, so please stop doing whatever you are doing and come and sit with me.” his Mommy ordered.

Rafiq trudged through into his Mommy’s room, with his hands in his pockets, and slouched over, shuffling his feet. His Mommy looked and wondered what happened to the sweet little child she used to have, who had good deportment, and always looked neat and tidy. He looked a mess, and that wasn’t the only thing that was messy.

Rafiq slumped next to his Mommy, not meeting her eyes, but his own gaze was at the floor. His mommy brushed the long fringe out of his face, and hooked it around his ear. This was going to be a difficult conversation, his mommy knew, but she had already decided upon the outcome, and this was really only to inform her son of her decision.

“Rafiq,” she gently but firmly started to explain, “I have noticed often, when doing the washing that both your underwear, and your PJ’s are a bit damp. This morning after seeing your damp PJ’s, I checked your bed, and all the sheets were damp, and the mattress is ruined.” Rafiq squirmed uncomfortably, knowing he had no answer for his mommy. “We will have to buy a new mattress, but we cannot continue like this.”

“Sorry, Mom,” mumbled Rafiq, “it won’t happen again” as he blushed at the facts stated by his mother.

“You are right,” his mommy agreed, “it won’t happen again! I have decided that we cannot ignore this issue any longer. I have bought you some protection, and you will have to wear them until you can prove to me that you are a big boy. But until then, you will have to wear what I decide. As you are acting like a baby, then that is how you will be treated until such time you grow up to your responsibilities.”

Rasiq was immediately defensive, “No Mom, I am grown up, I just had a couple of mistakes. It was probably all the beer I drank over the weekend with my friends. I will just cut back a bit Mom.” He pleaded.

“No, I am not happy with the crowd you are hanging around with anyway, they are a bad influence on you, so no more beer drinking anyway. If you want to hang out with your friends then they can come here. But in the meantime you will be wearing protection, starting now. So I want you to have a nice shower, and to get yourself properly clean, and I will be checking, so you must make sure you clean everywhere, we don’t want the smell of stale urine in this house do we?”

Rafiq couldn’t really argue with his mommy, so he trudged off for the shower, with the instruction to return to her room in just his robe and towel.

He had a long shower, hoping that whatever his mother had in store for him was not going to be too embarrassing. Maybe it would just be a day or two, and then he could revert back to before.

He shuffled back into his mother’s room dressed in his robe, with a towel around his shoulders. His long hair still soaking wet from the shower.

“There’s my clean little boy!” his mother cooed at him, “now let’s dry all that hair first”. With that she sat him down and took the towel and began to rub his hair dry. For all his brusqueness he still enjoyed soaking up his mother’s attention. “Oh, such lovely hair, I wish my hair had the same body and shine that your hair does” his mother commented “remember how we used to put it in all sorts of different styles? Let’s do some of that again!” His mother smiled as she twisted and dried his hair. He didn’t feel the bunches being added.

Soon his hair was dry, and now his mother faced the big hurdle, she knew if she could get through this next bit without too much of a fight, the rest of her plans would be easier. She lay the towel down on her bed, and matter of factly said “right, just pop your robe off and lie down on the towel Rafiq”

He had no option than to meekly comply with her directions. Feeling quite vulnerable he dropped the robe and lay naked on the towel, while his mother reached into a bag, pulling out several items.

“Good boy” she commented “now it will be easier if we do it like this to start with, hopefully, you can prove you are really a big boy soon, but until then, we will do things my way. So I will put you into your Pampers, to ensure that they are correctly fitted, and you don’t develop a rash” she looked down at her naked teenaged son lying on the bed “sorry dear, but if you can’t prove to be a big boy in the next couple of days, we will have to shave you down there, so we can be certain that everything is clean and free from any rashes. But don’t worry, for the next few days, you will be Mommy’s little charge again. I will make sure that your every need is attended to. You can just concentrate on being a big boy”. With that she shook out the Pampers.

Rafiq hadn’t really been thinking what ‘protection’ might mean, and he certainly wasn’t prepared for such a baby style Pampers, but it was too late, he was already naked and his mother was going to diaper him, so it was futile to argue. He lifted his hips as instructed and felt the soft Pampers against his flesh. His mother then shook a whole cloud of baby powder on him, the infantile smell reminding him of days past. He lay inert as his mommy carefully lined up the Pampers on his hips, and securely fastened the tapes.

“There!” his mommy announced, admiring her handiwork, “all better now!” She then reached over for a simple white shirt with a pale blue Peter Pan collar. It seemed too short for him.

“Mom, do I really need to wear this too?” He asked, realising that his voice sounded quite whiney.

“Yes, I told you, that I would be looking after all your needs, so you can concentrate on your job in hand, and you must call me Mommy for the time being as that is more in keeping with your new situation”

Rafiq was confused by this statement, but again chose not to argue; he knew once his mother, his mommy got a plan in her mind then she was relentless as seeing it through. Next came an odd article of clothing, which he had never seen before, or more correctly he could not remember seeing before. Again pale blue and white, to match the little shirt he was no wearing, there were shoulder straps, and sort of a bib arrangement at the front, after arranging the shoulder straps, Rafiq was eased back into a lying position again, as his mommy pulled all the material between his legs, and seemed to attach it to itself with snaps. A little shortall in his size was taking things a little far he decided.

“No, Mom…Mommy…why am I wearing this?” He asked while his mother pulled little blue and white socks onto his feet.

“Shhh…stop fretting; this is just to make our lives easier. I will have to frequently check your Pampers, and I might even have to change you, and this will be so much easier than having to completely undress you each time, and anyway you look so sweet in it.”

With that she pulled Rafiq to his feet to admire him. He was adorable, wearing a pale blue shortall, which seemed to balloon out around his diapered bottom, the big front and Peter Pan collar made him look young, his hair in two bunches just finished the picture off perfectly!

Rafiq looked down at the wideness of his hips under the shortall and Pampers and his pale legs underneath. He felt as though his whole adult entity was being sucked out of his body. He couldn’t help but feel as little as he looked.

“But Mommy,” he wailed, tears of humiliation welling in his eyes, “I can’t wear this…what will my friends say? Mommy, please don’t make me wear this!”

“Oh shhh…” his mother chided him, “I think you look very cute, and I am sure all your friends would agree. The only option if you don’t like the ease of the snap crotch would be to wear a little dress; would you rather do that? No? I thought not! Any more whining from you and I will not hesitate to put a pacifier in your mouth too. Now go and sit on the floor, while I order a new mattress with a plastic cover.

how is that @Rafiq ?

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Author: babyann
Timestamp: Oct 30, 2021 at 4:16 AM
Content:

kerry said:

Hi, Ann:

I usually don't bother with this kind of commentary, but we are friends and you have often indicated that you are happy to learn new things about writing, so here goes. (It's also, I admit, an opportunity for me to discuss a few things I've wanted to discuss for a long time.)

Your writing is very good: easy to follow, clear, and well-constructed. The plot here is the same, but in a big way that is the thing I want to talk about. From what I have seen of your work, you are capable of much more than a stereotypical, trope-filled piece. Here, you succumb to some of the tropes that, if avoided, would make a story much better:

Your characters lack any sort of background and you dive into ABDL stuff way too quickly. A really good story will take the time to let readers get to know characters before plunking them into a fetish-first situation. Who are these people? What has their relationship been? Why would the mother even come up with this idea, let alone act on it? (And why would she be referred to as "his Mommy" before anything like this happens? Do either of them spend time wishing for the relationship they had when he was a child?)
I am assuming Rafiq is at least 18. (Otherwise, this story goes against the forum rules about punishing underage kids.) But help us here: let us see him in the kinds of activities his mother wants to curb. Yes, it would still be tropy, but it would be more specific to this story and not just like dozens of others in which similar things occur. The more unique you can make the characters and situation, the better this will be.
Here is a trope you fall into as well: the boy is a bedwetter, so she decides to treat her nearly-grown son as a baby? Full-time? It certainly satisfies the kink, but it doesn't really make sense. I mean, it happens all the time in these stories, but the best ones develop more elaborate reasons for it.
BTW: where, when, and how did she get hold of these adult-sized "Pampers" and short-alls? That sort of thing takes research and time for a person not involved in ABDL.
Finally, here is the ultimate issue with these tropes: they are their own raison d'etre. The story is about babying and nothing more. (She even suggests at the end that he will be this way in public.) There are a million plot elements that could shape this situation and make this a more specific—and therefore enjoyable—story. Even elements that are themselves cliché or tropy, like discussing this issue with a friend who happens to be a therapist or having Rafiq want this for one reason or another, make it all more interesting because they lend context to what is happening.
Every time I write this sort of critique, I worry that it will not go over well and be taken in the spirit that I intend it. I really don't think that will happen with you, but I'd like to mention to others reading this that—while I don't indulge my inner creative writing teacher all that often—I do think it is part of why I am here. Ann, you see from early responses that even context-free stories, if written well, can garner a following. But how much cooler is it when the stories reflect some singular creative vision?

[End of quote]

Oh, thank you yet again Kerry! Everything you say is right (well…apart from the bit where you say my writing is good! …but let’s not start that again!)

Basically, you have caught me out being lazy! Rafiq sort of challenged me (and i had been feeling guilty that i had not written any stories in quite a while. Yesterday, i did have some time on my hands, but was also a bit worn out, so i just quickly thought i would write a quickie, but it isn’t good, and i did do all the lazy things you pulled me up for! So, thank you, but it is also a bit of a challenge too…to write better…to improve this story…and not to be so lazy! Thank you AGAIN!