Only Secrets (Not finished posting chapter by chapter) -- (Author) Zenka
Only Secrets (Not finished posting chapter by chapter) -- (Author) Zenka
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Jul 8, 2014 at 3:55 AM
Content: Hi, i am Zenka, I am a novice writer and not all that good by my opinion. But i still decided to give it a go, i will be posting chapter by chapter in this story. Please, no negative comments or flaming, criticism is welcome, but please don't only focus on the bad things, YES i do know my stories tend to be a bit forced, YES i do know that i am not good at writing at all. If i see any comments that are just beating me down without any sense of compliment or any good side at all, i will give them rep as such, but that does also mean that a good (enough) comment will receive positive rep, but please bear in mind that i won't give you positive rep for only "Hey, nice story" if you take the negative side too far, it will be reported.
Sorry to take these precautions... but i learned that the hard way that it is always better to be prepared, so without any more rambling or further ado, here is the first part in, Only Secrets
Chapter 1
There are few sounds as atrocious as the one of an alarm clock in the morning. Well at least that is what Aki thought as she stretched across her bed and turned the beeping thing off. She threw her covers off and looked down on her bed with a fairly satisfied sigh and stood up, not even having to feel her crotch to know her diaper was wet from the night; it always was and had been for the last 9 years. Aki rubbed her eyes and yawned as she walked to her closet and grabbed a clean diaper and some clothes for the day, she was lucky that her school didn't have a uniform because a skirt and a diaper aren't really the best pair. She went back to her bed and laid down. Off went her sleep shorts and same with her wet diaper. After a quick wiping, she slid the clean diaper under her bum and taped it up nice and snug. She put on some navy blue track pants and headed out the door still with heavy eyelids, she had discovered a new web series the night before and… well… I am sure you know the drill, she didn't get much sleep.
Aki was the first to wake up of the kids, aside from the caretakers that were up at 6 AM to prepare breakfast. She quickly spooned down some cereal and went back upstairs to get her things for the day. She took her bag and stuffed it with every book she would need for the day as well as her usual 3 diaper for the day in a special compartment in her bag. Aki grabbed her bag and put it on her back before heading out the door, leaving for her first school day as a sophomore in High School without a single word to anyone.
The walk there wasn’t too long, but it was a nice weather with a cool summer breeze so it didn’t get too hot. Aki let out a sigh and a strand of her dark hair behind her ear, last year had really been a close call for her, the people at school almost found out her secret, so she had decided to try and stay away from everyone else, as she had found out throughout the years, friends are only there to hurt you, they promise to have your back and then run away at the first call. Having to depend on friends makes you weak, and when you are weak, there is nothing you can do when your friends bail on you.
It wasn’t long until Aki had reached her school, she walked into the large building and quickly found her first class, math, not really something to get excited over but it wasn’t all that boring. Unfortunately the only seat that was available was the one in the far back next to a petite blond girl. She let out a silent sigh and sat down on the chair, the teacher hadn’t arrived so people were still yapping, most likely on what they did in the summer vacation. “Hi… How are you?” Aki heard from beside her and looked at the blond, still a bit tired.
“Really tired, why?” She responded back, her voice hinting a foreign accent through her otherwise clear English.
“Just trying to have a conversation, Ms. Bradley is almost always late on Monday mornings, so I thought I would pass the time by talking” The girl responded.
“Well don’t, I am not in the mood to talk so please leave me alone” Aki responded bluntly and laid her head on the table and closed her eyes.
“Well someone is a bit grumpy.” The blond said just as Ms. Bradley came rushing into the classroom, blurting out a bullshit excuse about a traffic jam and an Elephant. Aki let out a slight chuckle at the thought of that, and raised her head up as a student spoke up
“That is why you should always lock your doors so your mom can’t get out” He said followed by most of the students laughing.
Ms. Bradley looked at the kid a bit pissed off, “See me after class Tom” she said and went to teach her class.
The rest of the class went on pretty uneventfully, most of the kids stayed silent throughout the class, some raised hands to ask questions, but some didn't mind at all. The bell rang and all the students rushed out the door, Aki walked out slowly almost last in the row, “You have Geology next right?” the chirpy voice of the blond sounded behind her.
Aki sighed and looked behind her, “yes. I do, will you ever just… leave me alone?” she asked frustrated.
“Well class is cancelled because Mr. Avery is sick” The blond said and caught up with Aki, “anyways, my name is Rachel.” She said with her normal chirpy voice. “What is yours?”
Aki turned to Rachel more than a bit irritated. “Look lady, I didn't come to this school to make friends, I came to school because I was told to, if I don’t, I get in trouble” she said and walked away.
Rachel sighed and caught up with her, “Listen, nobody wants to be alone, especially not when class is cancelled and we have nothing to do for over an hour, why don’t we just talk, we don’t have to be friends for that matter if you want”
Aki sighed and turned to face her, “Fine! If that is what will make me get rid of you, meet me behind the school on the bench in 5 minutes” She said and didn't even check to see Rachel nod her head and run off to the back exit.
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Jul 8, 2014 at 8:02 AM
Content: Well thank you, since you wanted it (and the fact that i can't sleep) then i have made part 2 at 6 in the morning. and sorry if it is lacking in quality, i am a bit tired understandably
Chapter 2
Aki walked the hallways aimlessly for a few minutes, thinking if she should show up or not at all. She was already regretting the fact that she told her that they would meet up, but if she would not show up, she would have trouble getting Rachel out of her hair again so she eventually decided to go. Aki arrived 5 minutes late and sighed as she saw Rachel sitting at a bench there.
“Hey grumpy, took you long enough, I was starting to think if you would have ditched me” Rachel said and waited for the girl to sit down.
“Hi” was the only thing that came out of Aki as she sat down, looking at the cheery girl in front of her. “So what did you want to talk about anyways?” she asked her
“For starters… What is your name? Rachel said as she looked at her friend
“Fuurade Aki, just call me Aki” She answered back and looking into the sky, clearly not interested
“Oh? Well you look like you are from Asia, but I thought you had a more… um… how should I say it… Western name?”
“Well I was born and mostly raised in Japan, both my parents being native...” Aki said slowly and looked at Rachel, “so what about you? What can you tell me about yourself?” she said, trying to care the slightest
“Well my name is Rachel Swanson and I am a sophomore here and on the track team as well, um… I have a younger brother who is 6 years old… um… there is not much about me left to tell.” Rachel said and looked over at Aki, “So… what about you Aki? Anything more you can tell me?”
Aki looked at her with a unwelcoming stare, “I am an only child, I don’t exercise, and my parents are sure as day not going to have an more kids” she said and stood up from the bench, “This conversation is over” she said as she started to walk away.
Rachel looked down on the bench, not saying a word, she felt like she had gone too far, been too clingy, so she just let her go.
Aki tried to hush forward, after she had stood up she noticed that her bladder was building in pressure, she practically ran to the bathroom and made it to one of the stalls. Aki slid her pants down and pulled the tapes off, just then, her bladder gave away. She was startled and instinctively pulled her diaper close to herself, letting it all drain in it. When Aki was done, she sighed and pulled the diaper away and sat down on the toilet just in case there was anything left. After about good 10 seconds, she stood back up and reached into her bag for a new diaper. She quickly wiped herself down and put the diaper on her, taping it up snugly before pulling her pants back up and throwing the used diaper in the trash. She sighed and exited the bathroom. ‘Damn… well there goes a perfectly fine diaper for near nothing’ she thought in the back of her head and went to the library to pass the time. She liked quiet places, and there was nothing quieter then the library.
When the ball rang, signaling the end of what should have been Aki’s class, she put down the book she had been reading and went down to her next classroom. She never liked eating lunch, always the same sludge with the overly loud people. She just preferred to show up to class on time, most of the time she was the first one there. Sometimes there was someone else too.
She walked inside the classroom and she saw a girl sitting in the middle row, she was wearing a black hoodie and black sweat pants. She had the hood on so she couldn't quite see her hair. As soon as she walked past her so stood up but Aki just shook her head, “please don’t get up because of me, I will just sit in the back” she said and walked to the end row of seats as the mysterious girl sat back down with a nod.
Aki lowered her head on the table and waited for class to start. Sooner than not, the bell rang and students started to come in one by one, finally followed by the teacher who waited a while but then started the lesson.
The rest of the day went by pretty quickly without any further complications, until Aki went to the front exit and looked outside with a frown, it was really pouring down rain, and some students were waiting by a sign for the school bus to come.
Aki sighed and sat down at a bench near the sign, after a short while she heard an awfully glee voice next to her. “Well, you know, it is not nice to just leave people like that?” she said and sat next to her
“Oh, hey Rachel” Aki said and looked down, “Sorry, I guess I wasn't feeling very good.” She added and looked at her. “So are you waiting for the bus too? I live too far away to walk this distance in just a shirt, so I wait here” Aki said just to answer any future questions.
“No actually I live close by, I just saw you here and wanted to apologize, it seems that I hit a touchy subject” Rachel said and looked at the ground.
Aki stood up as she saw the bus arrive, “you can ride the bus with me if you want, if you do, you will likely be allowed to come inside until this downpour ends. It is up to you, just… try not to ask any more questions okay?” Aki said as she walked to the bus and got on it, looking back to see Rachel joining her on the bus.
The bus ride was mostly quiet, nobody talked much because of the gloomy mood set by the rain. Soon enough Aki stood up and got out on the stop, she went out the bus with Rachel and into the pouring rain. She quickly walked to the door and took the knob, she frowned upon seeing it was locked at and started to look her keys. Aki soon started to panic and looked at Rachel, “Um… I lost my keys in my jacket… my jacket is inside…” she said as the rain poured down on them.
Rachel sighed and took off her jacket, “Here, I got a sweater too so it will be alright” She said as she put the jacket over Aki and started to walk from the door. “You can come to my place, we have a drier there and you can maybe borrow some of my clothes in the meantime.” She said and started to walk hastily in the direction of her own house.
The way over to Rachel’s house was mostly silent until they were almost there, when Rachel couldn't just think about it anymore and she turned to her friend, “How come you live in Westerford Social Home?”
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Jul 12, 2014 at 1:54 AM
Content: So i managed to get a hold of a proofreader and someone who was willing to edit a few common mistakes i made, it is a bit better written but it took me a while longer, so here is chapter 3 for you
Chapter 3
Aki stopped walking, but eventually started forward again, “Because Osaka is too far away” she said sarcastically, and with a hint of sadness in her voice.
“Oh, right… you didn’t want me to ask any more questions. Sorry.” Rachel said and continued walking behind Aki.
Aki stopped and turned to face Rachel, who nearly bumped into her at the sudden change in pace. “Fine, you want to know the reason?" She began, with a heavy voice. "It's... My parents... It’s because they're dead, okay!? I won't say how, but I just wish I wasn't left behind...” Aki said, her face red from the cold rain, if one would look closely, one would also see the teardrops forming in her eyes along with the rain.
Rachel stopped dead in her tracks when she heard the reason. She had anticipated this answer, but hoped for something less serious. Rachel slowly walked towards Aki and hugged her tightly, “I'm sorry.” she said slowly and tried to comfort her crying friend, “Hey, let’s hurry up, this rain is getting worse it isn’t too far now.” she said and hurried her friend along.
Aki had just about gotten herself together when they got to a fairly large house. Rachel rang the doorbell and waited since the door was most often locked and she didn’t carry a key. Soon enough there was a click in the door and it was opened by a young boy, no older than 7 years old, wearing nothing but his underwear.
“Jonathan! Get back here right now!” A female voice was heard as a middle aged woman came running and picked up the boy, “Oh Rachel, you're a bit late today." She said before noticing a second girl and asking who she was.
“This is my friend Aki." she replied. "She was locked out of her house so I told her she could dry off here.” Rachel said as she removed her soaking wet sweater and hanging it on a rack by the door. Aki greeted Rachel's mother and apologized for her intrusion before handing her coat to Rachel, who then put it beside hers.
“It's no problem at all, I'm glad to help in any way I can.” Ms. Swanson said and turned to her daughter, “Why don’t you show your friend to your room? You must have some clothes that she can wear, right?” she asked.
“I'm sure I do." Rachel said and led her friend up the stairs after they had taken their shoes off. When they arrived at her bedroom, she started to look around in her closet while Aki stood awkwardly in the doorway. Soon she returned with a T-shirt and a pair of shorts and handed them to Aki. “Here, these might fit you fine. You can change in the bathroom.” she said with a smile, then directed Aki towards it.
Aki showed her appreciation and then walked down the hallway into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She quickly began to strip down and place her wet clothes on the counter. Miraculously her diaper had stayed dry through the entire ordeal, and she intended to keep it that way. There was only one spare left in her bag, and since she didn't know how long she would be staying here, she had to be sure it stayed dry. She came out several moments later, now dressed in the shorts and the t-shirt that seemed a tad bit too big on her. She didn't realize it before, but wearing her friend's clothes made the difference in bust size quite noticeable. Aki walked back to the room and saw Rachel in a chair at her computer, also wearing clean clothes. “What should I do with the wet clothes?” Aki asked and walked to Rachel.
“Oh, just put it there. Mom will come pick it up later.” Rachel said and pointed to a clothes pile near the door. “So how do the clothes fit?” she asked as she motioned for Aki to come closer.
“Well, the shirt is a bit big…” Aki said and looked at Rachel’s D cups, much bigger than her own B’s, “Well let’s just say that we use different sizes.” she said with and awkward smile and walked over to her friend.
Rachel giggled a bit and grabbed a chair for her new friend, “Yeah… it just kind of happened last year. I still wish they were bigger though.” she said with a slight giggle as she closed the Facebook tab and opened a new one for YouTube, “Hey, have you heard of this one guy… Multiplier I think he was called… or was it Mark-something?” Rachel said and looked up her subscribed channels, clicking on a video. Aki simply shook her head and started to watch. A few (dozen) videos later, Ms. Swanson came into the room and looked at the girls.
“Hey, Aki, do you want to eat here tonight?” She asked and waited for an answer.
Aki nodded slowly, “Sure… thank you for the offer Ms. Swanson” she said with a small smile as Rachel started to chirp,
“Hey, mom, what is for dinner?” She asked just as her mother was heading back down.
“Lasagne!” Ms. Swanson called back without turning around.
“So, what do you think of him?” Rachel asked Aki after her mother left the room
“Well this… um… what was his name again? Marker-plier?” Aki said, “Well he is funny, at least he has that.” she said just as she heart Rachel’s mom shouting for dinner.
“Okay, let’s go, dinner is ready.” Rachel said as she stood up and paused the video, going down to eat with Aki. The girls got to the dining room and sat down at the table where Ms. Swanson and Rachel’s little brother Jonathan were seated, her brother this time wearing clothes. As they got there, Ms. Swanson started,
“I apologize for Jonny earlier. We just came home and his clothes were wet, but when I was picking out clean ones, the doorbell rang and he went running.” she said with a smile.
“Oh, don’t worry about it Ms. Swanson, it's alright.” Aki said and started to put food on her plate when she saw the others starting.
“Oh, please, call me Janet.” Ms. Swanson said and filled her plate. “So Aki, what do your parents do for a living?” she asked simply intending to make small talk. Both girls stopped doing what they were doing almost at the same time but before Rachel could fix her mother's mistake, Aki sighed.
“Well I wouldn’t call it much of a living. They just lie around all day doing nothing. I am even starting to think that they might end up decomposing if this keeps up.” Aki said plainly, showing no emotions whatsoever. Janet was taken by a surprise and looked at her strangely, but before continuing, decided it was best not to get into it. She didn’t need another family's issues on her hands. The rest of the dinner, however, went by with an awkward silence. No one had anything to say. Though Janet and Jonathan were talking quite a bit together, Aki was just glad that none of the attention was directed at her.
After dinner, Aki went up to the room ahead of Rachel and sat down on the bed, looking towards the ground and feeling rather forlorn. Rachel came in a while later and sat down next to her,
“Sorry… She didn’t know.” she said slowly, wanting to comfort her friend.
“It's okay, I have gotten used to it mostly. It happens more often than you’d think.” she said quietly and took a deep breath. “I'm… sorry that I was so mean to you before. So, um, if there's anything you’d like to know about me, feel free to ask... I'll answer what I can.” she said and lay back on the bed. Rachel looked at Aki for a moment,
“Well… when you said that you didn’t come to make friends, why did you say that? What could possibly have happened that was so bad?”, she said, sincerely wanting to know. Aki sighed a bit and straightened out her shirt,
“You don't already know? Did you just transfer in this year, or what? I don't think anyone missed out on seeing that...”
“Well, my family and I moved here last summer, so yeah.” Rachel said and looked at Aki “Why? What happened?” she asked.
“Well… it was last spring. I let someone get too close and..."
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Jul 15, 2014 at 5:04 PM
Content: Chapter 4
Aki hesitated for a moment and sighed, not really sure how she would go about telling the story without revealing her secret. "You see..." She began, "There was this person who I really thought was my friend. We were pretty close, and... She found out a secret of mine. I thought it would be okay, but I was wrong. She used it as blackmail and threatened to shame me in front of the whole school." Aki hoped what she said didn't reveal too much information, but she had a dreadful feeling in the back of her mind that she may have to say more than she had initially planned. After hearing this and taking a moment to understand what could have happened, Rachel set a comforting hand on her new friend's shoulder.
"You see, I..." Rachel stopped, realizing she might need to be careful about what she said next. She thought about it for a second, but began again after noticing Aki start to give her a strange look. "There's, um- Well, I promise that I'd never do something like that to you." After saying that, she looked away, relieved that she had managed to get out the right words. Aki lowered her head a bit and looked out the window, to see if it was still raining. Despite the fact that it was, she stood up and headed for the door.
“Well, my clothes should be dry by now. I should really hurry home.” she said slowly, hoping that she would at least be able to reach the social home before it got too dark. Rachel sat there thinking for a moment before she finally looked up at her friend,
“Wait!" Rachel stood up quickly. "How about… you sleep here for the night? You know, since it is still raining, plus my house is closer to the school.” she said, really not wanting her new friend to go out in the rain and catch a cold on the second day of school.
Aki looked back, a bit shocked, “Well... there is school tomorrow, and I don’t even have anything to sleep in.” she said, trying to think of any excuse that could get her friend to let her go, even though she had a point.
“You can always borrow something from me. I don’t mind at all, really. You can even have a shower before bed if you want to, but that is up to you, Stinky.” Rachel said with a bit of a giggle
Aki thought it over for a while. There was a good chance that Rachel would find out her secret, and that could lead to a whole lot of troubles at school. But then again, it was really pouring outside, and walking all that way in a downpour when it’s so cold out wouldn't be a good idea either. There really was no other choice. “Okay, fine. I think I'll take you up on that shower.” she said with a forced smile.
“Sure thing. The bathroom is right down the hallway, as you already know. I'll be waiting here.” Rachel said as she stood up and moved to her dresser, going to get ready for bed even if it was just 8pm. Aki nodded and walked to the bathroom, locked the door and slid her shorts down, followed by her diaper and then her shirt. She tried to sit down on the toilet to see if there was anything that that would come out to potentially save her a diaper change, and an extra diaper. After a few moments of waiting to no avail, Aki got up, realizing it was a waste of time, and jumped in the shower to wash herself off.
After at least 20 minutes, she came out of the shower and started to look around for a towel. When she found none, she opened the door just a crack to stick her head through, “Hey, Rachel, where do you keep your towels?” she half shouted, hoping her friend would hear her.
“In the cupboard under the sink!” Rachel shouted back. Aki closed the door again, took out a towel, and started to dry herself off. When she was pleased with her job, she picked up the diaper again and put it on. The tapes were a bit loose, but she managed to make them stick. Next she picked up her T-shirt and went looking for her shorts. She found them, but it seems she had accidentally stepped on them when she came out of the shower and now they had a huge wet spot over the back of them. Aki thought for a little while about what she could possibly do, and after a while she swallowed hard, wrapped the towel around her waist and exited the door. She went back to Rachel’s room and saw her sitting there on the bed in a pink tank top and black pajama bottoms with pink hearts on them.
“Hey, you said I could get some pajamas from you, where are they?” she asked and walked to the dresser.
“Bottom drawer.” Rachel said without looking up, or thinking about it. Aki nodded and opened the bottom drawer, expecting to just grab some clothes, but something caught her eye and she let out a silent gasp.
She saw a small package and picked it up, turning to her friend, “I'm sure you can explain this being in your drawer, right?”
Rachel looked at the package, her heart felt like it had stopped right in her chest when she saw Aki holding half a pack of Girl’s Goodnites in her size in her hand. “Um… my mom wanted me to, um… to hold those for my little brother! He, uh, he isn’t potty trained yet and it was easier to make him wear those. They were out of the boy ones so she bought these instead.” Rachel tried to lie, her face starting to grow redder and redder by the moment.
“Oh Really? Let me find 3 things wrong with that excuse; One, he is 6 years old, and young kids don’t even want to look at girly stuff, much less wear it. Two, he is 6 years old; these are for 8-15, closer to your age range instead of his. And Three, I saw him this evening in his underwear and it did not look like a diaper to me.” Aki said as she started walking towards Rachel’s desk.
“Well can you then explain that?” Rachel said and pointed to a diaper on the floor. It had fallen off Aki with the adhesive gone on the tapes, but Aki had not noticed it in all the excitement of the moment.
“Can I explain what? It's you that should be-” Aki started an accusation but stopped once she saw what was laying on the floor. A quick pat on her crotch made her cry out in embarrassment and fall down in a crouching position, not trusting the towel to hold up when tapes failed.
“It's okay, I kind of figured that you were wearing diapers, I just didn’t know how to tell you that I knew. But don’t worry, I don’t think any less of you. In fact…” Rachel said slowly and pulled down the front of her pajamas to reveal her pink butterfly pull-up, “I… have almost the same problem…”
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Aug 1, 2014 at 5:15 AM
Content: Sorry about the long pause here, i guess i kinda got busy, so enough with the wait and lets see Chapter 5
Chapter 5
Aki looked at the sight in front of her for a short moment before turning away, “I'm sorry... I know this must be hard for you...“ She said and lowered her head.
“Don‘t worry about it. It's only been like a few months since... well, since it started...“ Rachel replied with sadness in her voice. Aki moved over to her, still not looking directly at her. “Don‘t worry, it's nothing you have to concern yourself with, it's just my problem.“ She said and looked up to Aki, “By the way, how many more spares did you bring?“
“Well I have one more, not counting the one on the floor currently.“ Aki said slowly and moved over to pick up the diaper lying there.
“I could loan you one of mine for the night, it wouldn't be a problem.” Rachel said right before she saw Aki shake her head.
“No, it's okay, I don’t want to take everything from you. Do you have some tape by any chance?” Aki asked her as she folded the diaper.
“Oh yeah, wait a second.” Rachel said as she stood up and headed for the door. Meanwhile Aki walked to the drawer and picked out some pajamas that would fit her and set them to the side. Soon enough, Rachel came back into the room holding a roll of duct tape. “Are you sure about this? It can be a little hard to get off if you need to use the bathroom.” Rachel warned as she handed the roll to her friend.
Aki just smiled, “Don’t worry, this thing is absorbent enough to last the night.” She said as she took the roll and headed for the bathroom once more to change. Aki came out a while later dressed in blue pajamas decorated with snowflakes all over. The shirt was short sleeved and buttoned, while the bottoms were long. She walked into the room and sat on the bed, catching the attention of her friend.
“Oh? So you managed to make it work then?” Rachel said as she looked at her friend.
Aki nodded and lowered her pants a little, “Yeah, it will hold for the night.” She said, looking down at her taped diaper. She couldn’t find a good place for a short strip so she taped the whole way around, making sure it wasn’t going to fall off, “Thanks though, for the offer, but I just couldn’t accept anything more from you.” Aki said as she laid back in the bed, the top of her diaper peeking out from over her bottoms.
“It is okay, really, I don’t mind.” Aki said as she unplugged her laptop and brought it to the bed, “Wanna watch some shows before we go to sleep?” she offered and opened one of her folders. Aki agreed and sat up, taking a position up against the wall near the end of the bed next to her friend and asked what they were going to watch.
“Well, It's this show about a man who is really good at noticing things and claims to be psychic. He works for the police and has way too many cameos of pineapples.” Rachel said and turned on the first episode, watching it with her friend.
Around midnight Rachel’s mom came in, a bit shocked to find the girls still awake, “Oh? You girls are still up? You should really get some sleep, you both have school tomorrow.” she said and closed the door.
Rachel closed he computer and looked at her friend, “Yeah, I guess she's right, it is getting late.” she said with a small giggle as she laid the laptop away and got comfy in the bed, “I hope you don’t mind sharing a bed tonight.”
Aki just shook her head and crawled under the sheets, “No, it is not a problem at all; I don’t mind.” she said as she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep shortly after.
She woke up the next morning at the sound of an alarm clock going off. She grumbled and opened her eyes, finding her friend already awake and at her computer. She got up and rubbed her eyes slowly, “You sure are up early.” she said in a somewhat groggy voice
Rachel giggled and looked at her friend, “I am used to waking up at this hour so I usually beat the alarm clock.” she said as she stood up, “Do you want to get changed and take a shower first or…?” Rachel asked but trailed off there.
“No, it is fine, you go ahead, this is your house after all. I can wait.” Aki said with a small smile. She could feel that she needed to go soon, and though it was not something that she wanted to let into the back of her diaper, being polite was more important at the moment.
Rachel nodded and stood up; she headed for the dresser, picking out clothes for the day before heading to the bathroom. Aki waited a bit and felt the sensation expanding faster than she was used too. Finally, after about 15 minutes she heard the click of the lock and the door opening. In a slight panic, she rushed outside only to see Jonathan waiting outside of the bathroom and beating her to the claim, locking the door behind him. Aki had no choice but to stand there waiting longer with her butt clenched as Rachel went downstairs to continue getting ready. Time seemed to slow down, and what was only about a minute and a half, seemed like at least a quarter of an hour. At last, Jonathan exited the bathroom and Aki rushed inside and pulled down her bottoms.
She looked down with despair as she had completely forgotten; her diaper was taped shut. Aki pulled and ripped relentlessly at the tapes but nothing seemed to work. With her panic rising she tried to look through the drawers in search of scissors or anything sharp that could cut it, but found nothing. Aki took one last tug at the tapes before she heard a loud fart as the back of her diaper filled up, followed by another louder fart to complete it. Aki fell down on her knees with her tears in her eyes as she heard hasty footsteps followed by a knock on the door, “Hello? Aki, is everything alright in there?” Rachel sounded from the other side.
Aki just sat there, unmoving, and not responding. What was she supposed to say, sorry, come back later, I just made a number 2 in my diaper? That would be the first thing that came into her mind, but there was no way she could say that aloud.
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Aug 5, 2014 at 11:46 AM
Content: Chapter 6
Aki was on her knees on the bathroom floor, unable to believe what she had just done. The knocks at the door were getting louder and more frequent, and the voice soon started to. Aki yell looked up slightly before opening her mouth, but she couldn't manage more than a near-silent squeak. She soon heard the footsteps again as if someone was running; the tapping indicated that the person was running down the wooden stairs, she heard some hastened chatter before the tapping began again moving the opposite direction, this time with a second pair of footsteps. Soon she heard Ms. Swanson call from the other side of the door, "Aki, is everything alright in there?" Janet asked and knocked at the door.
Aki tried to stand once more, but the mess squishing around uncomfortably against her behind caused her to fall back down to her knees. Aki looked up as she heard Janet call again from the other side of the door, “Aki, honey, I am going to come in.” she said before Aki could hear a key at the door and a click of the lock.
Janet and Rachel both rushed in, Janet was slightly taken back at the sight of Aki’s diaper, which at this point, she wasn’t even making an effort to try and hide. Janet opened her mouth to ask the reason for it but the stench reached her nose before she could even get a word out, so she instead just turned to her daughter and told her to get ready for school before going over the frail girl, “Aki, do you have a spare one with you?” she asked softly and crouched down to her level.
Aki nodded softly and opened her mouth, finally being able to get a word out, “I… In my bag, second compartment...” she said slowly, the tears starting to flow down her cheeks. Janet nodded and stood up and rushed to Rachel’s room, soon she came out holding Aki’s bag and brought it back in, closing the door behind them.
“Aki, do you want me to change you or do you want to deal with it on your own?” Janet offered sweetly with a smile as she dug around in the bag for a bit before pulling out her last spare diaper. Aki just lowered her head, trying to hold back her tears and laid on her back with a silent nod of her head. Janet looked at her with a worried expression before opening the cabinet and taking out some wet wipes and laying them on the side and taking the bottoms from Aki’s ankles. Janet moved up to unfasten the tapes but was greeted by the sticky stuff that got Aki in this situation in the first place, “Aki… Can you tell me why you put tape over your diaper?” she asked with a slightly puzzled expression.
Aki looked down and tried to compose herself, “W-Well the tapes got loose and they even fell off, and since I only had a single spare for the next day, I used tape to hold it… but, it held too well…” she said slowly.
Janet looked at the tape and stood up, “Wait a second, let me get the scissors.” she said before running back downstairs, within a minute Janet came running back upstairs despite what she always tells her children about scissors, and came into the bathroom again and crouched down near the sobbing girl. She cut the sides open with the scissors and wrinkled her nose when the stench hit her strong, but looked un-phased as she attempted to lift Aki's legs and remove the diaper. Aki, being a bit heavier than a toddler caused Janet to ask her to left her legs for her. Janet quickly and skilfully wiped her down, taking special care around her backside so she wouldn’t get a rash before sliding the last diaper under her and taping up and helping the poor sobbing girl onto her legs, giving her a hug.
“I… I am sorry I made you do this… I never meant to…” Aki said but was interrupted.
“No, it’s okay. It was an accident and no one blames you. I shouldn’t have put that much hot sauce into the lasagna anyways, but we were low on tomato sauce so…” Janet said with a smile, “It is okay, really, I have raised three children after all." Janet said slowly, her voice sounding a bit sad near the end.
Aki smiled softly and broke the hug, “I… Should get ready for school.” she said with a slow tone of voice before picking up her bottoms and walking down the hall.
“Oh, and I put your clothes on the bed!” Janet called after her right before she rolled up the dirty diaper to throw out. Aki walked back to the room and walked to the bed to get her clothes, spotting Rachel ready to go on her computer.
“Hey, where should I put these?” Aki asked as she lifted her pajama bottoms for emphasis.
“Oh, you can just keep them, they are too small to fit me anyways” Rachel said with a smile and stood up.
“Can I just keep’em here for a while since they won’t fit in my bag?” Aki asked and sat on the bed.
“Sure, just put’em in the laundry pile and you can get them later or something, anyways; I am going to let you get dressed.” Rachel said and moved out of the room, closing the door behind her. Aki quickly stripped her top and got dressed in her clothes, soon coming out fully dressed and heading down to the kitchen to eat breakfast, which it seemed that Rachel was already enjoying. “Hey, hurry up slowpoke, we are about to run late.” Rachel said with a giggle.
Aki ate up breakfast and quickly grabbed her bag and other things, before hurrying out the door with Rachel, really hoping she wouldn’t have another accident since she didn’t have a spare with her, though still hoping the day would be slightly more entertaining with someone she trusted at least.
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Sep 17, 2014 at 7:04 PM
Content: Sorry for the extremely long, a lot has been going on, my school likes to schedule like 30 tests at the start of the semester so i had little time to even be on this site. But i will continue writing it and post chapter 7... i think soon, thank you for waiting
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Sep 18, 2014 at 1:58 AM
Content: Okay the next chapter is written and is with my editor, it should be here tomorrow or the day after.
And Puppydog, thanks for the support and the idea, and Emily, i did not waste you blessing. I won't tell you who i picked to have a cameo, but she drives a red Pontiac Grand Am.
Oh, and one another thing. When i was thinking a name for the new character introduced in the chapter i came up short and had to use a generator, and the name that came up left me amaze, i will just leave this here. (Click it for larger image)
View attachment 21927
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Sep 18, 2014 at 2:14 PM
Content: So the chapter came back from the editor, it is around 50% longer on average, i hope you enjoy after a wayy to long pause, here it is.
Chapter 7
The week passed by surprisingly quickly, especially with a good friend such as Rachel and better yet, there was no alarm clock this time, one of the many benefits of a Saturday. Aki woke up near noon and opened her heavy eyelids, she lay there for some moment before she finally got up, naturally being too lazy to change her wet night diaper she walked out of her room wearing just a t-shirt and her sleep shorts with the mandatory diaper under. Aki went down into the kitchen to grab some breakfast when she noticed Gary sitting at the table. Aki smiled a bit and sat down next to him and took out a bowl, “Good morning Gary.” she said slowly.
Gary turned around, “Oh, hey. Sleep well Aki?” he asked and smiled, eating another spoonful of his cereal. Gary was relatively new at the home, the young 12 year old had been pulled from his family due to domestic violence, thankfully the school notice the reoccurring bruises all over his body and called the police figuring that either he fought more than a boxer or something was seriously wrong.
Aki nodded slowly and poured milk and cereal into her bowl, “Good enough, what about you?” she asked and started to eat. Smiling softly at him.
Gary smiled, “I had troubles sleeping last night… but at least I still woke up dry.” he said proudly.
Aki smiled at him, “Wow that makes it three weeks now already that you have woken up dry right?” She said to which Gary nodded. Bedwetting was surprisingly common here; stress, anxiety and depression among many others were the norm around the house, almost always because of past events, most often because of loss of family one way or another.
“What about you Aki, have you managed to stay dry at night?” Gary asked and finished his cereal and put his bowl away.
Aki shook her head, “No, I still woke up wet…” she said and poke her diaper that rested under her shorts. “Don’t worry about me though, I will wake up dry, one day.” she said with a warm smile, “That reminds me, I still have to change out of my wet diaper.” she said and finished her cereal.
Aki went back to her room and locked the door. Next she started to strip her lower half of all garments before taking wipes and cleaning what needed cleaning before putting on another diaper and taping it on nice and snug.
Aki sat down on her bed and picked up her phone to look over a few things, she did not yet possess a computer; there was not enough funding to do so, so she let her phone do for now.
After about an hour Aki’s phone rang in her hands, it didn’t take Aki long to answer the phone with a “Hello?”
“Hi, Aki?” Rachel said on the other end of the line.
“Yeah, what is it?” Aki answered.
“I…um… I am holding a sleepover at my place tonight, I am inviting some of my friends since I am home alone for the night, want to come?” Rachel said with her usual chirpy voice.
Aki froze up there for a moment, not saying a word for a while before finally breaking the silence, “Who will be there and how many?” she asked slowly.
“Um… there will be five of us, me included if you come and it is just some friends from my old school as well as some from our school” Rachel responded after a while of thinking.
“I… I don’t think that I will come” Aki said slowly.
“Why, what is wrong?” Rachel asked with a worried tone in her voice.
“It’s nothing… It’s just… it’s nothing” Aki said and lowered the phone a bit.
“Come on Aki, it will be fun, I promise. A huge majority of the people there know I wet the bed so they won’t have any problems with you, come on, I will even help you with bringing your stuff over okay?” Rachel said with a comforting tone.
Aki thought for a bit before nodding her head, “O-okay then, can you come over now then?” she said through the phone, since there was no real problem.
“Yes, I will be over right away.” Rachel said and hung up.
Aki put her phone away and walked to her drawer, pulling out a pair of pants and put them on as well as a fresh shirt and waited for her friend to arrive to her house. After good 20 minutes her doorbell rang and Aki sprung on her feet and rushed for the door to see Gary moving to open the door and letting Rachel in. “My room is the second farthest down the hall.” Aki instructed and walked to her room and starting to pack her bag.
“Nice room. It’s a bit smaller than mine but it’s still nice.” Rachel said and walked into the room.
“Yeah, thanks. It’s all the space I need.” Aki said and packed a few diapers before moving to her drawer, packing clothes for the next day. Opening the bottom drawer, “Most of my pajamas still have to come out of the wash, so I don’t know what to wear other than just shorts or something…” she said and looked better.
Rachel giggled a bit, “You won’t really need a bag that big, but okay.” she said as she looked into the bottom drawer and took out the blue two piece pajamas she had given Aki a week back, “How about these, will these work?” she said and smiled when she saw Aki nod and stuffed them in her bag.
“Okay, let’s get going.” Aki said as she stood up and handed the backpack to Rachel since she had offered to carry it and started walking out the door, this time making sure to take her jacket and keys with her. Rachel nodded and followed Aki out the door starting to walk in the cool weather, caused mostly by the sun hiding behind the dense clouds.
“So how come you wanted to hold a sleepover all of a sudden?” Aki asked curiously.
“Well, a friend from my last school suggested that we meet. I will be home alone tonight, and my friend asked if she could invite her friend. I said that she could come if my friends could come, the more the merrier.” Rachel said with a smile and sped up her walking a bit, “But I must warn you though, my friend can be… difficult to be around, she has really few friends in her school because of it.” she said as she could finally see her house a couple of hundred meters ahead.
“And so you decided to invite me. Thank you for that.” Aki said with a smile as she took the bag from Rachel, “I can hold it from here, thank you.” she said.
When the pair reached the house Rachel unlocked the door and walked inside, “You can go put on your pajamas now if you want, I don’t plan to go out anything more today so I am at least going to do so.” Rachel said and went upstairs to get dressed.
Aki nodded and went into the bathroom to change clothes. She hadn’t wet her diaper yet so she didn’t have to tend to that. When she came out dressed in her pajamas she found Rachel downstairs in front of the 46’’ TV holding a PS3 controller, already in her pajama pants.
“Come here, want to play a game until they get here?” Rachel asked and gave Aki a controller with a grin. “I don’t think you can beat me at this.” She said as Aki sat down.
“Oh really? I am the best at this game.” Aki said with a giggle, she knew how to play, but was far from being that good.
Three entire hours later Rachel’s phone began ringing. Rachel paused and picked up her phone. “Hello… Yes, hi. Yeah, that’s right, the first house when you get to the block, number 15.” She said through the phone before hanging up and walking to the door to see a red Pontiac Grand Am pull up and park. Two girls exited the car walked up to the house. Before they could ring the bell Rachel opened the door for them and let them through. “Aki, this is my friend Kelsey, and her friend Sadie” Rachel said.
Kelsey smiled a bit and sat down on the couch, “Guess what Rachel, I got made captain of the cheering squad this year!” She said with an excited look on her face.
“Congratulations Kelsey! I knew you would be captain after Sarah graduated!” she said happily and sat beside her on the couch.
Aki smiled at them and reached her hand out to Kelsey and Sadie. “Hey, my name is Aki, nice to meet you.” she said, trying to sound as cheery as possible, not to get their bad side when the evening was just starting. Aki turned to Rachel after doing a quick head count. “Wait, we are 4 of us here, you said there would be 5?” she said just as the doorbell rang. “Speak of the devil, and he will appear.” Aki said with a sigh.
Rachel jumped up, “Okay, she is finally here!” she said as she opened the door all the way. “Girls, this is Ashley. Ashley, these are the girls.” she said with a smile.
Aki went wide eyed at just who had walked in, and likewise Ashley had also noticed who was sitting there on the floor. “Oh hi Aki, nice to see you here. I figured that you gave up on sleepovers after our last time.” she said with a smirk. “By the way, thanks for giving me the position of Student Council President.” she boasted with a cold voice as Aki just stared at her, too many thoughts and memories passing through her mind to be able to say anything.
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Sep 18, 2014 at 5:23 PM
Content: IT'S THE ILLUMINATI!
hehe, i hope you like the chapter and i plan to write another chapter today and get it maybe on tomorrow, if i can but i have no promises.
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Sep 29, 2014 at 8:14 PM
Content: So terribly sorry for the delay. I told you i would write the chapter... And that i did, but i didn't feel good enough about it so i ended up re-writing it all, only to be unsatisfied with it again.
Another reason why i haven't posted is that i have just not been feeling very well; all of last week namely. My sleep got all messed up over the weekend (So terribly that i ended up going to sleep at sunrise both Friday and Saturday).
I finally have an solid idea how i want to write this chapter, and as a bit of a treat, i am going to tell you the gist of it.
The new chapter will be written as a flashback, even the next 2 to get more content going. But it will be from Ashley's point of view instead of Aki's. It will happen during the end of the school the year before! I hope i can finish it soon, and i sincerely hope before tomorrow because Amazon is dropping of a thing i have been waiting for for half a month. Seeya then
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Oct 19, 2014 at 7:59 PM
Content: My friends! A joyous days has come, for it is the day that the new chapter is finally posted. So as I said, this chapter is written as a flashback from Ashley's POV. The next one after that will not be, it will snap back to the present. So this is just a little insight on what happened before. I don't want to rant here for too long, so here it is, finally.
Chapter 8
Ashley sat on her bad on a Friday afternoon. She was pondering her options, the student council elections were coming up next week and only two girls were running for the spot: Her and her friend Aki. Ashley knew that it was a losing battle in a war she could not afford to lose, so she would have to come up with a full-proof strategy. A full scholarship was usually given to students who were re-elected for president or did an outstanding job. Ashley needed the scholarship to go to college, since she was not an athletic person a sport scholarship was out of the question.
Ashley pondered this question for a long time before her phone rang, she was quick to pick it up and answer it. “Hello?” she asked into the phone, awaiting a response.
“Hey? Ashley?” The voice on the other end said happily. The caller was Ashley’s good friend; Aki. “Hey, everybody is going on a trip tomorrow, they asked me to come but I declined so I will kinda be all by myself until Sunday noon. They leave tonight so I thought maybe I could have some company over the weekend, wanna come?” Aki asked before Ashley could answer after her greeting.
Ashley smiled a bit, “Perfect, this is my chance” she thought and answered her friend, telling her yes.
“Really? Great, thank you. You can come over at 7 okay?” Aki responded, her voice hinting obvious joy as she hung up.
Ashley smiled and looked at her watch, it was 5 PM, lot of time to finalize her plan. Ashley lay down on her bed again with a smirk, she pondered the many approaches she could use to this. After a while she finally came to a solid one, she was Aki’s only friend, and thus the only one who knew about her diapers, she could exploit that, blackmail her to quit the campaign or having her secret leaked, but she just needed the evidence.
Ashley was lost in thought for a little over an hour before she snapped back to reality and looked at her clock, she was already running late. Ashley quickly gathered her stuff and put it in a bag before running out the door after telling her mother that she would be spending the night at her friend’s place.
Ashely walked quickly to the social home with a smirk, it was a good distance away so it took her a while to walk. Ashley finally reached her destination only 4 minutes late and rang the doorbell, awaiting the answer of her friend.
After a short while Aki came to the door and let Ashley in, “Ah, welcome Ash, you ready for a night of fun?” she asked exited, opportunities like this one came rarely, so it was natural that she was exited for it.
Ashley came in and sighed, “Can you stop calling me that? You make me sound like a boy with a yellow rat condoning animal abuse” she said and took her shoes off.
Aki frowned as she walked into the living room, “Hey, I liked those shows, well the first and third season at least. The rest is crap”
Ashley smiled and made her way to Aki’s room, “So what do you want to do tonight?” she asked as she sat on the bed.
Aki thought for a while before saying, “Well… We just got a Netflix subscription if you want to maybe watch a scary movie?” Aki smiled a bit, knowing that they both got scared easily, all the more fun to watch something scary.
Ashley giggled a bit, “Sure, I am not scared, but you are still young enough to be scared~” she teased playfully.
Aki crossed her hands, “Hey! Just because there is a month between us doesn’t mean you are more mature, 2 weeks ago you were still 14 like me!” she said slightly irritated and walked down to the living room.
Ashley grinned, “Well, but you are still 14 aren’t you?” she said again teasingly and sat down on the couch.
Aki just sighed and turned on the T.V and switching to Netflix, “Hey, you want a diaper? Last time we watched Saw it was pretty well soaked” she said, half teasingly but serious about her offer.
Ashley shook her head, “No, not this time. We are not going to watch something that scary. And to my defense, I really had to pee and didn’t want to stand up!” she said and looked over the selection of horror movies.
Aki giggled and looked back at the screen, “Suit yourself, not my fault if you wet yourself” she said teasingly again and selected a movie, “How about this one? The Conjuring?” she asked and opened its interface.
“Um… Sure, I hope it is at least a good one” Ashley said, completely brushing off her friend’s earlier comment.
“Okay!” Aki chanted and started the movie but put it on pause as soon as it started, “I am going to make some popcorn to eat with the movie, go get yourself comfortable meanwhile, get dressed in your pajamas and such” Aki added as she went to the kitchen, seeing her friend reaching into a bag and putting on some sleep shorts.
Aki moved to the kitchen and made several bags of popcorn, she liked to eat a lot while stressed and a single bag would be over in like half an hour if she was eating by herself. She quickly returned with a big bowl ‘o popcorn and laid it on the table, she told her friend to wait a minute while she went up and put on simple blue and gray track shorts that she used as her pajamas. Aki went back downstairs and sat on the couch, she looked over and smiled softly.
Ashley nodded her head and started to eat some popcorn as Aki started the movie and the girls watched through it all.
Aki sighed when the movie was over. "Well that movie was lame, I was expecting something scary” she said and looked over to her friend.
Ashley nodded her head and yawned, “Yeah, What time is it?” she said slowly, feeling a bit tired.
Aki looked around for a while before finding her phone, “Um… half passed eleven” she said and stretched out. Her diaper was a bit wet, but that was only because she forgot that her bladder was almost full when they started to watch the movie.
Ashley yawned, “Should we just go to sleep now or…?” she asked slowly and stood up slowly.
Aki thought for a little while, “Yeah, sure, it is getting late” she said and stood up.
“So where can I sleep? I remember your bed being a single” Ashley said and walked up the stairs.
Aki giggled a bit, “Um… All the rooms are occupied right now, so you can have either Chloe’s Grace’s or Luke’s room.” She said as she stood in front of the row of doors.
Ashley looked at her friend a bit puzzled, “Um… what is the difference?” she said confused.
“Aki giggled again, “A 5 year old girl’s room, a 9 year old girl’s room or a 13 year old boy’s room respectively” she said, paraphrasing the last question so her friend could understand.
Ashley giggled, “I guess I’ll take Grace’s room” she said with a smile on her face before going to the bathroom and locking the door. Ashley sat on the toilet and started to do her business, she wondered how she could pull this off, she had come up with several different ideas, but she finally decided on one that would most likely work. She got out of the bathroom and looked into her friend’s room. “Hey… Aki?” she asked awkwardly as she looked at her friend that lay on her bed.
Aki slowly turned her head and looked at Ashley, “What is it?” she asked drowsily.
“Goodnight” Ashley said with a smile and walked away while Aki just grumbled and turned again in bed. Ashley got into Grace’s room and sighed, every room was basically the same, white walls with a single bed and a wardrobe, but personalized items such as pillow covers, sheets and posters were hanging on the wall, Bratz wasn’t really Ashley’s thing but she figured it was better than Dora the Explorer.
Ashley shut off the lights and crawled into bed, she smirked maniacally and patiently waited, she figured that it would take about half an hour tops for her friend to fall fast asleep, after that she could put her plan into action. Ashley checked her phone every so often, waiting for the time to pass so she could leave the room.
After a while had passed Ashley checked her phone one last time before smiling and slowly standing up, so walked quietly to the door and opened it. Ashley then started to make her way down to Aki’s room while still being careful to make as little noise as she could. Ashley knew that Aki was a heavy sleeper, but it was still better safe than sorry.
Ashley made it into her friend’s room, her heart was pounding as she nervously walked her way to her friend’s bed to confirm that she was in fact sleeping. Ashley slowly pulled off the covers and was relieved to see that her friend had taken off her shorts, likely because the room felt like an oven.
Now came the stressful part. Ashley positioned herself and took a deep breath before she took a picture, she had to use the flash because it was pitch black. Ashley sighed with relief when she noticed that Aki had not woken up from the flash.
Ashley pulled the covers back over her friend, almost not believing how low she had gone just for personal gain but she reassured herself that it was for the best, she needed this position no matter what, friends were temporary, she could always find new ones, but education was forever and not so easily replaced, or so she thought.
Ashley walked slowly back to her room, her heart was still pounding in her chest. She got in her bed and sighed again, she put her phone away and went to sleep.
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Oct 20, 2014 at 3:09 PM
Content: Thank you for you support guys!
I have already decided what Ashley is going to do with that picture, i have thought that it would be explained in a shout argument between the two of them. If i can promise you one thing then that is that sparks will fly between them
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Nov 19, 2014 at 11:47 PM
Content: So... I guess this is the part where i go and apologize for not updating... Truth is that things have been hectic at school (It ends december fifth thankfully). I have right now eight ongoing stories, four of which have published chapters and i have a clear idea for at least three more.
I want to continue this story but i also want to re-write it. I don't mean edit, i mean re-write entirely, like a different story and plot, i would focus a lot less on Rachel and the whole shabang with Ashley never happened, but i would focus on another character in the story who only got mentioned a few times.
I can continue this one but i could also drop it. What do you guys think? Should i post the re-write here and continue this one as well? Please let me know, so i can continue doing what i love; Writing.
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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Nov 20, 2014 at 9:09 PM
Content: So i have decided and it is all explained on the other thread If you click this blue thing here. Happy reading and tell me if you like it