A Reason Why -- (Author) ABAlex2

[llsadmin]

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Author: ABAlex2
Timestamp: May 26, 2016 at 4:44 AM
Content: There was a great flash like lightening, and heat filled the room. He felt himself burning and woke in panic, not understanding what was going on. All around him was piercing noise, sirens slowly twisting into screams. His breath was cut off. In the noise he wasn’t sure if his calls for help were going unanswered or simply never left his mouth.

He was in the air, moving without will as he was crushed against a mass of rough brown cloth. Screams still followed, distant and barely audible under a moaning, lurching sound, but piercing into his ears and his mind none the less, and going answered.

He was outside. He felt the ground under his body. The cold air cut into him after the intense heat and he fell shuddering. The screaming continued, but morphed into a moaning, crashing sound, and stopped. Noise filled the gap. People were crying. Sirens wailed. The screaming remained inside him, echoing in his mind, and mixing with the ice cold wind. Something wrapped around him and he was warm again, and he hoped to never feel that cold again.

He was in another place. The cold was gone, but the screaming remained. It was a different sort, a deeper, thicker, rougher shout, but still there, and he shuddered.

Steven awoke in a cold sweat. The alarm was going off, screeching for his attention. He hit the button. He would have to get that sound changed.

He got undressed and headed into the shower. He turned on the nozzle, and the heat came with a loud hiss…

Burning, screaming…

He shook his head and removed the thoughts. He blanked them out, turning his mind to other things. He had to get up. He had to get dressed. He had his job to do and a random nightmare was no excuse not to.

He got clean as quickly as he could, dried off, and got dressed. His typical black suit and tie, along with permanently polished shoes and watch. He grabbed his long coat to go with it, and headed down stairs to the kitchen. Breakfast was already waiting for him. He thanked his maid and moved out the door.

He got in a car - this one was a red sports car, for every second day of the work week- and turned the ignition, preparing himself for the noise. He had paid more than enough for it, and as the salesman said “if it doesn’t wake the neighbors, its not doing its job.” He never really enjoyed it too much, but it was almost expected to own something similar where he worked. He could drive in something cheaper. No one would really say anything. They would think it, though.

The engine came alive and roared loudly…

Crashing, moaning…

“DAMINT!” he shouted. He thought he had gotten rid of those images. Years of hard work and secretive therapy sessions should have ensured it.

He could call in sick. No one would say anything, of course. He was allowed to.

They would all think it though. Just like the car. His boss was on his fifteenth year without a break. His step father had gone the full 35 years before his age granted him the leniency for sick days.

He cursed, and drove off.

He arrived at the office twenty-five minutes early, or, as he called it, ‘late’. He walked through the long grey hallways dotted with cubical and water coolers and made his way to his office. He passed by people he knew by name and department and flashed polite, empty smiles. He opened the door and went in. He had a large, lightly decorated office with a massive desk, a garbage can and a window whose blinds he kept perpetually closed. People started drifting into the building, chatting around his office. He concentrated on his work, but the noise built until finally had to slam his door shut.

The time drifted by in odd bursts and lulls. He didn’t pay it much mind, he had work to do, and wouldn’t leave until it was done.

A loud screeching noise made him jump.

Screaming, shouting…

He looked down at his phone and lifted the receiver.

“Hello is this the Henry Berran Brokers?” a shrill voice asked.

“Yes, this is Mergers and Acquisitions,” he replied.

“Excellent. Do you know…”

Something was happening outside. People were speaking, loudly.

“if that is true, should we…”

He took out a pen and began copying down what she told him.

The voices were getting louder. Through the closed door, he couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“And then I’ll need…”

He made out the sound of his senior, Michael McNaughton. He began to shout at someone. He was always shouting.

Shouting, screaming…

“large tubes of..”

He was getting louder and louder. He could picture him, red faced…

Burning, steaming…

Shouting louder, louder…

Screaming, calling…

“place it inside…”

Someone was crying.

Crying, moaning…

“it may hurt a bit…”

He was throwing things, tearing them apart.

Moaning, crashing…

The last remains of sunlight cut through the blinds, hurting his eyes.

Burning, cutting

“But I think we are ready…”

Steven shouted and through his phone from his desk. It crashed into the wall opposite of him. He stared at it, breathing heavily.

Finally he ran up to it again and picked it up. The women was still speaking.

“Hello? What was that? It sounded like a crash!” she said.

“Sorry, I, uhh… dropped my phone,” he replied.

“Alright. Well is there anything else you need to know?”

“No, that is fine,” Steven said. He was sure he had everything he needed in his notes.

“Aright, well, goodbye! Thanks for everything.”

“No, thank you.” He hung up the phone.

He stared down at his notepad. Gibberish, completely illegible.

He tried to remember any detail of the call. Her name, where she worked… nothing came to mind.

He tore the piece of paper from his notebook and threw it into the trash bin. Hopefully it wasn’t anything important. He thought about calling back the same number, but it would probably only lead to a directory, and that was useless without knowing the department which called.

He looked at his watch. It was late, most people were probably clearing the office. Never the less, he sat back down at his desk and kept working. There was still work to do, and leaving too early would always look bad.

When he finally finished it was dark. The air was cold,

Cold air, howling wind…

and he pulled his jacket against it. He got into his car and began to drive away.

He watched the road as closely as he could. The images from the dream kept coming back, and he shook them out of his mind.

He turned the radio on, hoping it would help him clear the images out.

He didn’t know the station. It seemed good enough at first, people talking calmly. They were announcing a new song. It came on gently, with a moment of silence. There was a voice whispering something, getting louder, and louder..

Suddenly the singer was screaming

Screaming, shouting

The guitar came blasting randomly, pouring out notes faster and faster.

Moaning, burning…

The drums pounded.

Crashing, falling.

Screaming, shouting

Falling, biting

Burning, chocking,

Flashing, cutting

Howling, whining

He screamed and fumbled at the radio. He looked down to turn the nob, yanking his body toward it, and throwing his car off. He looked and screamed, turning the wheel to avoid on coming lights. The car skidded off the road and slammed into a tree.

…

Steven woke up again, this time to gentle singing. He had no idea where he was. He was surrounded by warmth, and felt cushions piled around him. Everything was soft and silken, from the voice to the blankets. He sank into them and wished he could go back to sleep. He hadn’t felt this way in as long as he could remember.

Finally he opened his eyes completely, and saw a white tiled roof he did not recognize. He sat up completely. He looked down at himself. He seemed to be fine. He didn’t seem to be injured and couldn’t feel pain anywhere. He was wearing long white pajamas. They weren’t his own, but they were comfortable and fit perfectly. The room he was in was painted a golden hue, and had wall to wall carpeting.

There was a women sitting on a chair in front of him. She had been the one singing, and stopped when he saw her.

“What is going on? Where am I?” he asked.

“Don’t worry about that right now. You are safe,” she replied, in a voice as soft as the cushions.

“But I need to contact someone. I need to get back to work, I…” he stopped as she shushed him and put a finger on his lips.

“Don’t worry about that, sweetheart. Don’t even think about work. It will all be alright. You are with us now, and we are going to take care of you. We will take care of everything you’ll ever need, and everything you could ever want. All you have to do is trust us.”

Despite their strangeness, he felt a calm reassurance at her words. He realized he really did trust her. He nodded, and smiled.

(In case you are wondering, there will be more abdl related material in the next chapter. This is just the intro. Also, comments and critiques are appreciated. Thanks for reading!)

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Author: ABAlex2
Timestamp: May 27, 2016 at 5:57 AM
Content:

D1aperBOY said:

Man you sure know how to capture an audiences attention!!
After reading the first couple of lines I was absorbed.
Look forward to the next chapter.

[End of quote]

thanks a lot! I'll have it up in a bit

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Author: ABAlex2
Timestamp: May 28, 2016 at 9:01 AM
Content:

anton said:

Wow, great start!

[End of quote]

thanks a lot

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Author: ABAlex2
Timestamp: May 29, 2016 at 4:27 AM
Content:

Shaunikins321 said:

Looking forward to chapter two, subscribing to this thread!

[End of quote]

thanks! It will come out soon

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Author: ABAlex2
Timestamp: Jul 12, 2016 at 12:48 AM
Content:

AlexB said:

great

[End of quote]

thank you

- - - Updated - - -

Part 2:

The woman grabbed him by the wrists and helped him out of the bed, holding him gently. He found his legs worked fine, nothing seemed to hurt as he stood.

“Wh…who are you? Where am I?” he asked in a shaky voice.

“Don’t worry about that. You are where you need to be. And I am the one who is going to take care of you. My name is Esther” she replied smiling.

“Take care of me? What do you mean? Do I need to stay here? Am I still injured?” he looked down at his body, ensuring nothing was broken or bruised.

“It means we are going to give you everything you need and anything you want. I am here to make sure all your little heart’s desires come true until you are ready to move on. And no, you can leave whenever you want, or stay as long as you like.”

“So, wait, I can leave now? Because I do need to get back to wo…”

CRASHING FALLING

He jumped and shouted in panic. He felt sweat beginning to pour down his back, and his heart raced.

Instantly her arms were around him. “Shhh, shhhh” she said. “Awww my poor little boy. Its ok, its all alright. We will take care of you, we won’t let anything bad happen.”

As she spoke he felt the panic go down. Her arms were warm around him, and he felt the warmth seep into him, calming him down in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. He could leave later, he decided.

He glanced into the hallway. A woman was picking a tray and broken glasses off the floor. That must have been the crash.

His own reaction shocked him, and embarrassed him. He had been spooked before, and often on edge. However, it was never that strong a reaction. Normally, he was able to hide it.

He blushed. To have someone see him weak like that, becoming afraid at the slightest sound…. He couldn’t have it. He thought he might even have felt tears on his cheeks! He opened his mouth, trying to think of some excuse to give her.

He felt her finger on his lips. “No, don’t worry. You have nothing to be worried or embarrassed about. You’ve been through a lot, its normal for people in that position to be scared easily. Everybody cries. No one here will judge. I told you, you can do anything you want, and we will give you anything you want. No one will get upset at you for it.”

He felt a sharp pain across his face.

A loud voice was speaking. He struggle to follow it.

Tears came up, threatening to break.

The harsh voice again. “Are you going cry? Are you a baby? Are you a girl?”

The voice was shouting,

-Shouting, Screaming-

He squeezed his eyes shut.

The sharp pain again.

-Burning, cutting-

“Are you going to cry?”

“No,” he said.

The memory came back from the furthest part of his mind, cutting to the front like a knife and hitting him like a hammer. It took him a moment to think of why it had come to him then, but really it was simple.

It was the last time he had cried.

He stared at her. She seemed sincere. After all those years, someone telling him that it was alright to break down was strange and confusing, but comforting. Looking in her eyes he really did believe she would let him do it. At that point, however, he didn’t want to cry.

He jumped back a bit. She had rested a hand on the front of his pants.

"What are you doing?!" he asked.

"Oh, don't worry, just making sure you didn't have an accident when you were scared," she said.

"What?!"

She laughed. "Don't worry, we know how hard it is for a poor little boy like you to keep your pants dry when you are scarred. No one would blame you."

He blushed, he gaped, he didn't know how to respond.

"It's alright, with such a fright you never know. I did notice that you kept the bed dry though. Good boy!" She patted his head.

"What? I..." What was she talking about?

She laughed. "Oh don't worry, I'm only teasing. Though you were sleeping for a looong time, and no one would blame you if you did have an accident, so its ok to feel proud."

"I... thank you...?" it was an odd statement, but what was stranger still was the slight bit of pride he did feel that her words. He normally only felt proud for buying companies and changing businesses, not because of praise for not wetting a bed like a baby.

“You're welcome. So, why don’t we get you dressed, then we can go down to eat, and perhaps you can have some time to play. Then you’ll feel better, won’t you?” She took his hand and led him toward a wall facing the foot of the bed.

He laughed. “Hahah I guess so. I don’t know about playing, though.”

She smiled at him. “Well, like I said, you can do whatever you really want. We will provide for it.” She pushed a hand against the wall, and to Steven’s surprise, it opened. The wall had in fact been a sliding door made to blend into the wall. It lead to a large, walk in closet. "Go on in," she said, patting his bum to encourage him. "Don't make me give you a spanking to convince you!"

He was too surprised to respond to the teasing comment. He stared at the array of clothes, confused. He had expected hospital style gowns and clothes, but saw everything but.

On the left side of him was something like he’d expect in a regular closet. There was a line of suits, well made and pressed, followed by button up shirts and then more casual clothes. This, he supposed, was for people staying for long periods of time.

The other side, however, was completely different. The clothes seemed to be made in a random series of bizarre styles, made for very different people. There were dresses, some seemingly excessively frilly, and in bright colors. There were even maid’s dresses and nurses gowns, and strange leather suits. Strangest of all were a collection of childish footed pajamas and onesies, along with overalls and t shirts decorated with cartoonish animals and cutesy words. There were baby bonnets and mittens, booties, plastic underpants and what he was worried might be diapers.

“What… what is all this?” he asked.

“Oh, I told you. We provide whatever people want. Some people have different tastes. So, what do you want? Or shall I guess….” She said with a knowing grin.

He simply walked down the line of bizarre clothing. What kind of people normally came in here?

He stopped, looking down at a shelf. What made him stop wasn’t any article of clothing, but a large, brown stuffed bear.

“Oh, you like the bear?” the woman asked. “He was left here a while ago. He’s yours if you want him, just ask.”

The sharp sting again.

-Cutting, burning-

The voice was shouting again.

-Shouting, screaming-

“Are you going to cry?”

“No,” he replied.

“Who gave this to you?”

“I don’t know.”

The sharp pain.

-cutting, burning-

“It is a child’s toy. Are you a child?”

“No.”

“Destroy it,”

-Burning, breaking-

“Uhh…”

“Uhhh what? We are getting rid of it. Are you going to cry?”

The sting again.

“No.”

“Good. Who gave this to you?”

-A softer voice spoke. “There he his! And look what we have here.”

He laughed, reaching out.

“You like it? Do you have a name for it?”-

“I don’t know” he said.

“Brownie” he said now. That was the bear’s name, Brownie. It was smaller, he was sure, but almost exactly the same.

“I see,” she said, smiling. “That answers my questions.” She picked up the bear and handed it to him. To his surprise, he felt himself hugging it. He almost gasped at the feeling. There was an incredible softness to it that he hadn’t felt before. He pushed it against his face and rubbed into it. “Awww aren’t you cute. And in that case, I think I know the perfect thing for you to wear too,” she said.

Though he felt like he should hate being called cute, it didn’t really bother him. He saw the Esther reach into the line of strange clothing and pull something out.

“WH… what is that?” he asked shocked.

“Oh you doing like it? I think it look absolutely adorable on you. And look! It’s just like your teddy bear.”

“But… but…”

In her hands was a single hook holding a baby blue overall. It came with a matching striped t-shirt, and had easy to undo buttons on the shoulder straps and a flap at the seat of the pants. It was as if the entire thing had been designed for a toddler but re-sized for someone larger. Driving the point home was a picture of a teddy bear head on the chest, not unlike the one in his arms. Esther now pointed to the bear as the reason he should wear it.

“Are you saying you don’t want it? Don’t you see how soft it is?” She rubbed the shirt against his face. He almost moaned at the feeling. “We can get you in one of the suits if you like, just like you had on before coming here.”

He stared at the suits. That is what he wore for years of his life. All his accomplishments, all his successes, and all the things he was proud of had been done in one of them. Now, however, the sight filled him with a nervous anxiety. He thought back on the office, the stress, the shouting…

Shouting, screaming

… the rigidity. He thought of the accident…

Crashing, burning…

That it had all led to. He then looked back at her. The suit was cute, and though he wouldn’t have expected it, that excited him. It made the nervousness and all the stress seep out. Part of him still screamed at him to ignore that, that he was beyond such childish things, but right now he wanted it. It wouldn’t really matter if he gave in a bit, he told himself.

He nodded.

“Good! I think you’ll look adorable in it! Come on, I’ll help you get dressed.”

She lead him out of the closet and began undoing his belt.

‘Hey! Wha…”

“Oh, don’t worry, I told you I’d take care of you. It’s alright.”

Steven sighed and let her undress him, feeling all the more like a child knowing what she was going to be re-dressing him in. Once again part of him protested it…

Are you a baby? A girl?

… but overall it felt right. If they were going to take care of him, why should he have to worry about it?

Still too embarrassed to watch her undress him, he turned his head and glanced out the window beside him.

“Hey, who is that?” he asked.

The window faced out over a large courtyard, surrounded by a stone wall. There was an open gate at the far end. At the gate, facing outward, was a gigantic, obese man. Steven didn’t think he had ever seen someone so large. The man was staring as if he was planning to leave. He walked toward the gate, glanced out, then turned back in. He repeated this, acting as if he was going to leave, then shaking his head and turning back in.

“Oh that?” Esther said. “Don’t worry about that.” She started to take off his shirt.

‘What? But what is he doing? Is he going to leave?” Steven asked, not liking having his questions go unanswered.

“No.” She said it so matter of factly that it surprised Steven.

“I thought you said we could leave anytime?”

“You can. But he won’t.”

“How do you know?”

She sighed and stood up, then smiled at him. “Listen, sweetheart, you just don’t have to worry about it. His name is Jerald. He’s one of the people staying here. He isn’t going to leave because he enjoys it here. Everybody does, you’ll see. No one wants to leave once they are here. Now, why don’t you just cuddle little Brownie the teddy bear and I’ll get you dressed. Then, you can go and meet them all yourself, ok? I promise it will be ok.” She handed him the teddy bear and put a hand on his now bare shoulder.

He hugged the bear again, sinking his face into it. He supposed there was an explanation, and it didn’t really matter. What she said did sound nice. He nodded. “Alright,” he said.

She smiled again. “Good. You really like that teddy don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“You’re just a little cutie! I bet all that time acting so big and tough you just wanted someone to hug you and tell you it was alight? Give you your teddy and let you play?”

“I… yeah,” he said. The memories flashed again through his head. He pushed them down. After all those years of responsibility, being taken care of sounded wonderful, and silenced all the other thoughts. “But that is silly, we turn away those things when we get older. It be ridiculous to..”

“Shhh,” she said. “No one is going to say that here. You can play with your teddy if you want to, its alright. In fact, I think I have the perfect thing to go with your new outfit.”

She went back into the closet and returned with a pair of underwear. It seemed odd, a bit thicker then normal.

“Whoah what!?” Steven shouted.

She held them out strait in front of him. It was a large pull up, made thick and with animal prints like a toddler’s but in a much larger size. It even had “Huggies” written along the top.

“Oh don’t be silly. I think its perfect for you. Anyway, since you’re clearly such a little boy who gets scared so easily, I don’t know if we can trust you without them, can we? We wouldn’t want you ruining your adorable new outfit, would we?” She held it up to his face. Though more plastic, the material was soft like the shirt, and cushioned. He really did want it on. Even the crinkling sound it made gave him butterflies.

“No need to be embarrassed. No one will see them under your overalls. So, do you want them? Or do you want to give up all your cute little toys and outfit and be a big boy?”

“I… I want it,” he said.

“Oh, so you agree we can’t trust a scared little boy like you not to ruin his pants?”

He blushed. “Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“I…”

“Come on, say it and I’ll let you wear whatever you want. What you really want.”

He paused. Part of him was still afraid to say it. “You can't trust a scared little boy like me not to wet his pants. I want my pullups”

She smiled. “Good boy.” He lifted a foot, and she began to pull it over him. He felt himself become wrapped in the warm, thick plastic, enveloping him in softness that sent shivers down his spine. IT cradled and comforted him unlike anything he’d worn before. He stared down at himself almost as if at a different person, someone separate from the man he had thought he was. He felt all his anxiety slip away.

"Anything else you want to say?" she said as she began to dress him in the overalls.

He blushed harder. He knew she wouldn’t judge him, he knew he’d enjoy it, but he also knew that moments ago he’d never have done this. However, the intense feelings from it and the deep craving was too much to ignore. “I want my little pull ups, and my teddy bear, and my cute outfits. I want to be cute and to play and be taken care of.”

Outside, in the courtyard, the large man had turned away from the gate and headed back inside.

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Author: ABAlex2
Timestamp: Jul 19, 2016 at 8:07 PM
Content:

dl4life904 said:

Great story. Please continue it

[End of quote]

THanks! I will soon

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Author: ABAlex2
Timestamp: Oct 20, 2016 at 11:20 PM
Content:

dl4life904 said:

Great story. Please continue it

[End of quote]

I will, and just did actually

- - - Updated - - -

computerProgrammer said:

Cool story can't wait to read more

[End of quote]

Thanks, an just added another portion

- - - Updated - - -

Part 3: Once he was dressed, the woman took Steven's hand and lead him out the door. He entered a long hallway, with wooden floors and dark red walls broken by a series of identical white doors. To his right it lead to a corner, while to his left it ran past a large stair well before repeating the pattern symmetrically on the other side. She took him to his lead and went down the stairs. He entered a large, open room painted in the same color and filled with enough couches and tables to fit possibly hundreds of people. She took him behind the stairs and down another hallway into a dining room where a dozen or so people were sitting at the end of wooden table.

They were some of the oddest collection of people he had ever seen. They all seemed to be exposing some kind of eccentricity, and none matched. A woman dressed in all dark leather and fishnets was seated beside a man in a pastor's cloak. Another was dressed in a Zelda T shirt and was talking with a massive man Steven identified a the person he had seen standing outside earlier. Another was covered completely in gold jewelry and was counting bills as they approached, and a pair of others were rocking and laughing hysterically, clearly either drunk or on a drug.

In front of them all were plates of food which was better looking then any Stephen had seen. Piles of meat, steak, ham, turkeys, chickens, colorful fruits and vegetables,looking impossibly ripe, a dozen kinds of cakes, ice creams and desserts, and recipes from all over the world with pizzas, pastas, curries, sushi, dumplings and many more Steven didn't recognize. Then there were drinks, bottles and jugs of beer, wine, juice, any kind of liquor, soda, along with piles of leaves and powders Steven realized were drugs. It seemed inexhaustible, every time someone took something it was replaced by a stream of wait staff who seemed to materialize from behind walls and corners. A few gorged themselves, especially the extremely large man, while others picked away, drank or took the different drugs on the table.

Steven stared at the bizarre spectacle with a mixture of shock and amazement. He pointed at the piles of food and long line of empty chairs. "What is going on? Why do they have all that for so few people?"

"Its supper time," Esther said. "Sometimes we have a lot more people, sometimes less. People work on different schedules, you won't see them all. Our job is just to provide them with whatever they may want, not to insist they eat when we want them too. Now come on, lets go meet some new friends, shall we?"

She lead him by the hand toward the group at the end of the table. Steven approached nervously, entirely conscious of his childish clothing and teddy bear in his arms. He hoped the crinkling of his pull up wasn't as loud as he thought it was.

"Hello everyone, I'd like you to meet Steven, or new entry."

Steven waved. The group looked up and murmured hellos, then most went back to eating.

"What is he supposed to be? A baby?" a rough voice asked. Steven saw it was the fat man, who was laughing hysterically. A few others chuckled, some nervously, some more genuinely.

Steven shrank backwards and brought his bear up. The mocking sound in his voice dag into Steven and made him wish he was somewhere else.

"Jerald," the man dressed a a pastor said in a stern voice.

"Oh can it Aaron. Look, hes got a teddy bear! Ahahahah. "

"That is enough!"

"Why, I might make him cry? Hurt the widdle baby's feelings?" he laughed louder. "I'll be he has diapers too. Come on baby boy, show us your widdle diapies. Did you wet yourself because I teased you? Awww."

Steven felt his hand going to his own pull up. It wasn't that far off. Jerald, seeing this, laughed louder.

"I think its cute!" the woman in fish nets said. "He's just like a little boy."

"No, no." Jerald seemed to settle down, and turned to Steven with serious eyes. "Look, we have enough perverts here as it is. We don't need some childish want to be baby coming in to cry and whine."

"Alright Jerald, you've made your point. Let him be," Aaron said.

Steven was going through a mix of emotions. The insults effected him more then he would have ever though. The words brought back the flashes of memories, the shouting, the yelling... Big boy don't have teddy bears... Where did that come from? He tried to follow it but couldn't bring up the memory. The other woman's comments effected him as well. He never would have thought it, but a stranger talking to him like a child, not mocking but adoring, and another standing up for him filled him with a comforting sensation he couldn't identify. All together it confused him. He wanted to retreat back down inside himself, to the feelings of safety he had felt when he arrived, and when he was with Esther.

He looked toward her, and is if reading his mind, she reached over and hugged him.

"Poor little guy is shaken. Did that upset you?" she asked, and Steven nodded.

"Alright. Why don't we go to the play room. You can have some fun and I'll bring you your food, then you can go back to bed, ok? Wave goodbye!" she began to lead him away.

Steven waved sheepishly and the others waved back. A few shouted "Bye little boy," and the woman in fish nets blew him a kiss. Steven was too nervous to respond, leading to more awws from the group. He wasn't sure which were genuine and which were making fun of him.

When they were out of the room Steven felt he could speak again. "Why am I going to bed again right after? I just woke up!"

"Tsk tsk," Esther said, waving her finger. "You shouldn't argue about your bedtime. You weren't really asleep silly, you had just been in an accident and still need to rest. Its night now, and I want you tucked in nice and early, ok?"

Steven nodded. He was still upset from what had happened, and cuddled his teddy bear.

"Awww, my poor baby. Look, I won't let them be mean to you again, ok?" Steven nodded. "I know you're upset, but it will be ok. Here, take this. It will help." Esther pushed a pacifier into his mouth.

Steven was filled with surprise for a moment, but the feeling was quickly replaced with a deep, soothing calm. He suckled happily.

Part of him shouted that this was wrong. Images of himself went through his mind, of him in a suit, dealing with clients, arguing over the phone, making decisions worth millions of dollars. Always he was strong, like iron, standing straight and demanding respect with his gaze alone. He never relied on anyone and never needed anything more then his own will power. Now he had something else, himself dressed as a child, whimpering, sobbing as someone teased and longing for the protection of another. The two opposites clashed in his mind, and he felt his stomach swirl. He began to push the first away, ignoring it, ignoring the flashing memories and the emotions. This was alright, he told himself. He was happy this way.

They had entered a carpeted room lined with televisions and gaming systems. "This is our games room," Ether told him. She lead him passed billiards tables, poker sets and roulette wheels. "We have things here to entertain anyone, whatever they could want. And I think we have the perfect thing for you."

She pulled him to a far corner of the room. There, sitting on the ground, was a large square of pink mesh netting filled with plush toys, blocks, and games. A playpen, Steven realized. She opened its door and lead him inside.

He looked around himself, embarrassed at first. He wanted to tell her that he didn't need this, that he would rather one of the more mature games, or even a video game. However, he felt himself attracted towards the piles of toys. He started shifting through some of the boxes until he found one full of plastic blocks. A memory flashed.

"LEGOS!" he shouted. "I had always wanted these. We never..."

Shouting, screaming,

Sharp pain,

Cutting burning

He shook his head and blinked. "We never got them, but I loved playing with them when I could."

He opened the box and began sorting through them, taking them out and putting them together.

"Good boy," Esther said, and he giggled in happiness, surprising himself. "I'm going to go get you some food. You be safe until I'm gone, ok? I'll be right back."

"Yes Esther!" he said, to engrossed in the toys to turn around. She returned a while later with a plate full of cut meat and vegetables and a sippy cup of juice. Steven looked questionably at the childish presentation of his food, but Esther gave him no time to protest before she knelt beside him scooped up a fork full. 'Open up for the airplane!" She shouted, and pushed it into his mouth.

All complaints he had about being fed like a toddler quickly left as he tasted it. The food was fantastic, the best he ever had. She kept giving him more and more and he kept swallowing as quickly as he could, anxious for the next bite. He lost all thoughts about the humiliation of being fed and let himself sink into the comfort of being taken care of. When he was done with the food, she turned him around and had him lay on her lap, then fed him the sippy cup.

"There's a good boy, there's a good little boy," she said, stroking his hair, and he felt himself smiling.

When they were done she stood him up and took his hand. "Alright then, its past your bedtime."

"What?" he said, looking around for a clock. "But... but its still early?"

"Really? Do you know what time it is?" she asked.

He looked around again but couldn't find a clock. He shook his head.

"Now don't complain or you'll get a spanking." His eyes went wide at that. "Its way too late for you, and I can tell your already falling asleep."

"What, no I'm..." as he was saying it, he felt his a wave of exhaustion come over him. His eyes drooped down, and he had to hand onto Esther for balance. How did it come on so quickly?

"Its alright little one. Now come on," she pulled him along back towards his room.

Once they entered she stripped him down to his pull up. He didn't even complain as she dressed him in a blue footed sleeper and patted his pull up. "Now," she said teasingly. "I want you to keep this pull up dry tonight, or I'll have to put you in diapers. There is a bathroom in there if you need it." She pointed to a door Steven hadn't noticed before. "Think you can do that?"

He laughed. "I'm pretty sure I can."

"Are you sure? I don't want wake up tomorrow to wash your soaked bed sheets. I put you in your baby diapers right now if you want."

Steven laughed again nervously. He hang on to a thread of a hope that this was some kind of joke. Playing games and wearing cute clothes was one thing, but diapers? He wasn't a baby. "I... I don't need diapers."

"Are you sure?" She stared directly into his eyes, and he could the seriousness in her eyes. She ran her fingers under his chin "we'll see about that then."

"I... I don't..." He kept telling himself that he didn't need it, didn't want it, but something about her eyes shook him. He felt weary, and thought he was sinking in her eyes. He tried to look away, but she drew him in, overpowering and capturing him. He always prided himself in the strength of his will, but he felt it bending toward her. For a moment he knew he would do whatever she wanted. He wasn't frightened or even bothered. It was comforting, and for the moment he was hers, he knew he had never felt better in his life.

"Oh well," she said, patting his cheek and turning away. A second later the spell was broken. He blinked, feeling shaken. What had happened? Was it just the look of her eyes? He had long known he could influence people with a glance. The right confidence, the right charisma, and a perfect control of emotions could bend people easily. It was nothing strange, just tricks politicians and actors use. He had done it before, but he had never felt it himself, and never seen it done so strongly.

"One more thing before bed," she said. She sat down on a chair and patted her lap. "Come here."

He stared at her lap for a moment, then at her. Finally he walked over and sat down. She reached down into a hidden pocket and took something out.

"A baby bottle?" he asked. It was a lot larger then normal and filled with milk.

"Yes. I don't want my little guy getting thirsty."

"But... a bottle?"

"Yes, I know. You don't have to drink from it if you want. I can go get you a sippy cup, or a glass if you prefer. But if you do drink from it, you have to drink the entire bottle."

"Well I... why the bottle? Bottles are for babies. And its so big!"

She smiled. "I know. I know only babies drink from bottles, and I know you are not a baby. However, this bottle has something special in it. It will put you right to sleep, and relax all your muscles. I can promise you will never be more calm or rested in you life."

He thought a moment. "But... if it relaxes me... and there is that much milk... won't it... you just said..." He didn't want to say it outright. It seemed odd to warn him about not wetting, then offer him so much to drink, along with drugs... Was she trying to make him do it?

"Yes, I know what might happen. Like I said, normally these bottles are only for babies, so we wouldn't need to worry about that. But I know how much trouble you have sleeping, and how you just want all the agitation and anxiety to go away, and how you just want to feel safe and secure... I'd looovve to help you feel that way again, and I don't know a better way this."

She stared into his eyes, and the feeling was back. The warm, wonderful feeling that came from the knowledge he'd do anything for her and the knowledge that that was what he wanted as well. He opened his mouth, and drank.

...

He was back.

He wasn't sure where at first, but he knew he was back.

There was shouting...

Shouting, screaming...

The same shouting he heard at night, the same shouting he heard again and again...

It echoed something before. He reached for it, but couldn't find it. The memory burned like fire, too hot to touch, and disappeared.

Shouting again.

Screaming, burning.

Snapping fingers brought him out.

He'd been day dreaming. He couldn't day dream.

It was his uncle, Philip. Or Sir, as he called him. He was snapping his fingers in front of Steven's eyes.

"Are you paying attention? I better not catch you day dreaming." He held a belt in his hands and twisted it.

"Yes sir, no sir," Steven said quickly.

"Alright. Now, in microeconomics, what drives the market?"

"Uhhh..."

"Uhhh? uhhh what? Tell me."

He was taking too long. He couldn't take so long. He began to feel anxious again, and the information moved further away. He glanced toward his closet, then snapped back.

"Well?"

"Supply and... demand," he said.

"Good. Now, how does that apply in our problem?"

"Uhhh..." Steven glanced back toward the closet.

"What are you looking at? Whats in there?" he began walking toward the closet.

"NO!" Steven shouted.

"Oh?" He reached in and took out a brown teddy bear. "What is this?"

"Its... its a toy."

"Oh really? Does it have a name?"

Steven felt tears forming. "Brownie."

"Well Brownie is going in the garbage. You know better then to keep toys."

"NO! PLEASE!" He had hidden it when Philip had gotten rid of his others soon after he moved in with him. It was the last one he had left.

He felt the belt hit him.

"Toys are for babies. Are you a baby? Do you want to be a baby?"

"No but... but..."

Another hit. "No buts. Toys are for babies. And those better not be tears I see in your eyes. You are not a baby. You will not cry."

Steven did all he could to hold it back.

...

He was in school.

It was some time after, not long.

He was being held against the locker. The person holding him, Jack, was twice his size.

"Did you do it? DID YOU?"

Shouting again. Steven whimpered and cowered.

"Let me see it."

Steven handed over the papers in his hand. It was the homework from the night before.

"Good. These better be right, or I'll come back for you." He turned to walk away.

"Wait!" Steven yelled.

Jack turned back toward him. "What?"

"I..." he swallowed. "If we both hand that in, Mr. Kelly will know one of us cheated."

"And so? Then don't hand it in."

"But..."

"But what? BUT WHAT?"

Shouting, screaming.

Steven flinched.

"I..."

"BUT WHAT? ARE YOU #@!# ARGUING WITH ME?"

The shouting cut deep into Steven. It continued, and he flinched with each word. The sound slurred and mixed together, becoming an incomprehensible mess. Steven backed away from it and squeezed his eyes shut. He wished he was somewhere else, somewhere safer, but nothing changed.

"WELL? YOU #$%!"

It continued. The screaming, the shouting... He had heard shouting before, he realized. He probably heard it more then anything. It didn't really hurt.

"ARE YOU #$$@ YOU $#@@!?"

He had always been made to stand there, not moving as it happened. As long as he could remember, even as a toddler it was the same, the shouting, the hits, and he didn't move. He didn't have to move now.

He stood up straight and looked at Jack.

Jack paused for a moment, the words caught in his mouth. He began again, less certain.

Steven fixed his gaze right into Jack's eyes. I don't have to be afraid, he thought. I've done more then this kid. I've taken more then him. I don't have to be afraid of him.

He stepped forward, and Jack backed away.

He should be afraid of me.

"You will not speak to me that way again," Steven said, and the sound that came out scared him. It wasn't his voice, it was his uncles.

"I..."

"YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF ##@$"

Jack's eyes went wide. Steven walked around him, not caring any more. He didn't need to bother with things like that. They were weaker then him. They were less then him. They weren't important, they were barely even people. They were nothing to him.

Jack still tried to hand in the same paper, and Mr. Kelly noticed.

He tried to shout at him again, daring to say Steven was the one who had cheated.

All those lessons with his uncle came back. Always shouting, always being told not to react, not to feel. Always told how to stand and take it.

He stared at Mr. Kelly, the same way he had at Jack. He heard the teacher fumble, and knew it was over. He tried to shout again, but couldn't. The entire class watching, Mr. Kelly gaped at Steven. Steven didn't move. He didn't need to react to others. He didn't need to pay attention, or care what they thought. The needed to pay attention to him. Finally Mr. Kelly just told him to sit back down, and blamed Jack for it.

It had stuck with him for years after. Through university, into the business world, and up the chain. Any time there was anger, he could last through it. Any challenged, and he could beat it. No one was a match for him. He was stronger then them all, smarter then them all. He could win any argument with his words and his voice, and win any fight with his eyes. There was no one in all the world who could take him down.

No matter what he felt, he could push it down. All those memories locked away didn't effect him any more. He knew what he had been through, and he knew what it had done to him.

And he was proud of it.

...

It was over. It had been a dream, but more then that, a memory.

That was who he was. Or, that was who he had been.

He had made a decision. It wasn't long ago, just before sleeping. What was it?

He had backed down somehow. He never backed down, but he had. And he had been happy about it.

He remembered drinking. He remembered knowing what it meant. He remembered what he had been liked before, the pride, the strength, the courage, and he remembered what had come after. He tried to combine the two, make them work together, but he couldn't. The man who had gone through all that would not have made the decision he had.

He was waking up, he realized. He was waking up and he felt funny.

Wet, he realized. He was wet. He had drank from the bottle.

Suddenly he was wide away. He had drank from the bottle. That means...

Esther was leaning over him. It was still dark, but some light came in from the open door to the hallway.

"Shhh... shhh" she said. "Its ok."

"What happened?"

"You wet yourself. My poor little baby. Don't worry, I'll get you out off those wet cloathes and into something more... suitable, for you."

Suitable? He had stared down the toughest men in the business, and now pull ups weren't even suitable for him? The anxiety began to build up. He felt the warm, wet sheets sticking to him. They itched, and they smelled, and they were humiliating. He couldn't believe he had done it, or that he was being seen like this. What kind of person did that? What kind of person was he, really? Why had he ever...

He felt her arm around him, and the anxiety dropped. With strength that surprised him carried him to a table and lay him down. She stripped him of his pajamas and the soaked pull up.

"Clearly not enough for the widdle potty pants," she teased.

He blushed, but smiled. She had seen him at his weakness, and took him anyway.

She took out a thick white garment. He felt his stomach drop. "Wha..." He was interrupted as she put a pacifier in his mouth.

"Oh, poor widdle guy. I told you, if you wet the bed, you get diapers. YOu'll be safer in them. Besides, you'll look adorable, won't you?" She tickled him under his chin, and he smiled. She began wiping him down with baby wipes, and spread sweet smelling powder over him.

She lifted his legs, lay the white plastic garment under him, and lowered him. He felt the soft, cushion garment against his skin, and sighed at the feeling. She lifted it up, folded it down, and taped it on. He squirmed, hearing the plastic crinkle. It was bulky, and forced his legs apart. It game him the oddest mix of emotions. The thickness was the most distracting, but comfortable, warm and soft material he had felt, like a pillow or a blanket. It was humiliating, but secure and comforting. Overall, it was wonderful.

He saw other workers wheeling his bed out and bringing another in its place. He watched in curiosity.

"Oh, I thought this would be more appropriate," she said. She carried him over, lay him down, and tucked him in.

He suckled his pacifier and cuddled his teddy bear. The diaper was always on his mind, the feeling was constant and unavoidable. No matter what he did or tried to think about, the soft of the material brought his mind back to what he was wearing, and what he really was now.

Esther kissed him on his head.

"Goodnight Miss Esther," he said.

"That's mommy now," she said. "And you are my baby boy." She pulled up a set of bars on the side of his bed. A crib, he realized.

"Goodnight mommy," he said.

He began drifting back to sleep. All the memories and thoughts from before were in his mind, but they conflicted. He thought of all the changes from that day. The toy in his arm, the pacifier in his mouth, the diaper wrapped around him, all things he never would have thought he'd have the day before, and all humiliating. He pushed the memories back down, and thought of the new feelings. This is what he was now. It was all he wanted to be.

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Author: ABAlex2
Timestamp: Oct 25, 2016 at 12:36 AM
Content:

sisi said:

I am enjoying this.

Is he in heaven or is he still alive though? Will we find out?

ThankQ

Sisi

[End of quote]

Thank you very much!
Where he is right now isn't supposed to be clear, but it will be explained later.

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Author: ABAlex2
Timestamp: Dec 17, 2016 at 12:31 AM
Content:

FoxyDl said:

Oh, please do continue this. It's great! ^_^

[End of quote]

I will soon! Thanks for commenting

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Author: ABAlex2
Timestamp: Dec 18, 2016 at 11:03 AM
Content:

Jayme said:

You definitely have a knack for keeping your readers entrenched to the last word. I eagerly anticipate your next chapter. Love your story.

[End of quote]

wow, thank you very much! Hopefully I'll update soon, it depends on how much time I have with Christmas

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Author: ABAlex2
Timestamp: Apr 17, 2017 at 5:50 PM
Content: Part 4:

Steven began to gradually wake up, then sat up with a start.

What had happened last night? Was it real?

He saw bars. Crib bars.

In a mix of near panic and excitement, he threw up his covers to see his underwear. He let out a breath that was half gasp and half sigh.

His memories of last night WERE real. He was sitting in a crib, and wearing a thick adult diaper. More than that, he was still sucking his pacifier, and the teddy bear was still under his arms.
So then what about all those OTHER memories? Were those real too?

His chain of thought was interrupted by Esther’s voice.

“Good morning baby boy! I hope you slept well!”

Before he could respond, she had swept him into her arms and carried him out of the crib with strength that still surprised him each time.

He whined and clung to her, not wanting to be dropped. She held him firmly however, and sat him down on a white padded table. A changing table, he realized ruefully.
“Let’s check the damage, shall we?” Esther said as she leaned forward toward his diaper, squeezing it. Steven looked away blushing, waiting for the moment to be over.
“Awww did the poor baby have another accident last night?”

Steven gasped and looked down at her. It took him a moment to realize she was right. He could feel the damp padding against his skin. When had that happened?
“It’s ok, let’s get you changed.”

She took him by the hand and shoulder and guided him backward until he was lying back on the table. She then untapped his diapered and began cleaning him.

Trying to avoid watching, he turned his head and stared out the nearby window. Across the courtyard, there was a man standing at the gate again. This time, it was a much older man, and thinner than the last one. Steven wondered if it was the same older man he had seen the night before. Like the previous time, the man was staring out the gate as if considering leaving, but wasn’t moving toward it.
“AND lift your bum!” He was interrupted by Esther cooing at him in a childish voice. He complied and lifted his legs as she removed the soaked diaper and replaced it with a dry one.

He groaned in disappointment. Though he had liked the feeling of the diaper the night before, having to walk around with one all day was not a pleasant idea. Even worse was the thought that he might actually need it, and that he enjoyed it.

‘Now now,” Esther said. “No complaining. This soaking padding proves that you can’t be trusted without protection. If I let you go without a diaper on your butt, we’d have to through out all your bed sheets already, and I bet we could expect plenty of puddles all over the house. You’re going to be spending your days wearing pampers and your little overalls to go with it so it’s less work to change your soggy butt. Besides, I know you like it.”

“NO I don’t! Please no!” he blurted out. Somehow even though he loved the feeling of the padding he couldn’t stand the thought that she knew he did.

As he spoke, he felt the pacifier fall from his mouth. He had forgotten it was there.

“Oh really? Then why were you sucking that pacifier without instruction? And why is that teddy bear still under your arm?” He looked over, he had forgot it was there. Esther picked up the pacifier again and placed it in his mouth. “I told you. We give out visitors whatever they want. Right now, I think this is what you want. If it isn’t, just tell me.”

He stared at her in silence.

“So it is what you want?”

Slowly, he nodded.

“Good,” she said, and taped the diaper on him snugly. “Then let’s get you dressed.” She snapped her fingers, and a maid appeared carrying a baby blue t-shirt and overalls with an embroidered image that looked too much like his own teddy bear on them.

Steven looked away again. The old man had turned away from the gate and was heading inside.

Minutes later Steven was heading down the hallway toward the meal hall. Esther led him by his hand, and he stayed close to her.

He blushed with every step. The crinkling of his diaper seemed deafening, and he was certain everyone would be able to hear it and guess what had happened. Even if they didn’t, every time he saw himself in a passing mirror he was certain the bulk was visible under his pants, and it forced him to waddle in a way he was sure people would notice. Esther denied all three were true, but he was certain it was. Hoping to stand out less, he had left behind his teddy bear in a move Esther had clearly noticed. He had tried to leave his pacifier behind, but Esther had put it in his front pocket, telling him it was ‘just in case.’

They were nearing the dining hall, and passed by a short, brown haired maid carrying a tray of dishes. She stopped as they neared and said “what is that noise?” to the air.

Steven blushed and cringed. He was certain she had meant his diaper, even if she herself didn’t know it. Steven stood still a moment, and the maid shrugged her shoulders and moved on.

Esther looked over at him. “If you really want, we can go back and change you into something else. I told you, you get whatever you want.”

Steven squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. He knew that just beyond the doors in front of him was the dining hall, which would be full of people. If the maid had noticed it, any one of them could, tell the others, then everyone would know his humiliating secret. Worse still, he would be forced to explain why, to tell them the embarrassing details of what happened, make up some cover story, or let them come to their own conclusions. He didn’t know which was worse. Part of him was shouting that he should get rid of the clothes, all his pride and ego told him that it wasn’t right for someone like him to be dressed that way. However, even the idea of wearing anything different seemed abhorrent, making him anxious and depressed, and the knowledge that he was diapered was exciting and comforting in a way he hadn’t felt before.

“No, its ok Esther,” he said.

She raised an eyebrow.

“Its ok mommy,” he corrected himself.

She nodded, and pulled him inside the dining room

- - - Updated - - -

Short update I know, there will be more soon

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Author: ABAlex2
Timestamp: May 7, 2017 at 3:51 AM
Content:

wetatnight said:

awesome story
is he in a mental institution or heaven?
I'm not sure which

[End of quote]

It will become clear soon

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Author: ABAlex2
Timestamp: Jun 2, 2017 at 6:14 AM
Content:

wetatnight said:

how about an update please

[End of quote]

There will be one soon

- - - Updated - - -

THanks! I will, and sorry for the late reply

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Author: ABAlex2
Timestamp: Sep 6, 2017 at 5:07 PM
Content:

wetatnight said:

how soon is soon
it's been a couple of months since Abalex2's last update

[End of quote]

Sorry. I keep running into other issues. I'll try to get one up before the end of the month.