Return to Innocence -- (Author) subanark

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Author: subanark
Timestamp: Apr 27, 2024 at 6:20 PM
Content: It wasn't what I was expecting. Where are the golden gates, angles with trumpets, the long line to get in... at least the floor was nice and puffy.

A voice suddenly spoke to me, "If that is what you want, you'll have to go back and take a right at the fork".

He? She? It was as if whoever that was could read my mind. Turning around I saw a person, after spending a few moments trying to figure out their gender,

I was interrupted with, "You've already forgotten, who I am, or how you got here. Don't worry, that is normal around here, just know that you choose this path, but you are free to go back at any time while you are here."

I was confused briefly, but I somehow knew that I did make this choice. Their name was Ku a memory told me. Ku extended their hand and after gathering my courage, I took it.

Ku then led me like a parent to a child onward saying, "The first step in rehabilitation is to discard your adult life. Don't worry it will be waiting for you upon return."

We had arrived at a small pool of water. Ku let go of my hand and I approached the water. It was remarkably reflective, and I was startled to see myself in the reflection. Is that how old I am? Ku encouraged me to drink the water. With my hands I took some water and slowly sipped it. This is the first step I told myself. The water was warm and had a milk taste to it. As it trickled down my throat I saw flashes of my life pass on by, never to be remembered again. After finishing I looked into the pool again and saw that I was a young adult. I tried to recall what I looked like before, but that was gone.

"That was the easy part, ready for your first day at unschool?", said Ku.

After nodding, Ku continued, "But first, it is time to attend your graduation. Go ahead your class has already started."

Hearing the clamor of classmates, I turned around and found myself in line to receive our diploma... except I was holding it already. A student at the front of the line stepped up to the podium and handed over the their diploma to the principal.

She then turned to an empty crowd and said, "Today I, we, are liberated from the heavy burden of adult life."

She then walks down to the empty crowd and takes the first seat, calmly awaiting the next speaker.

Another student addresses the almost empty crowd, "Our worries, our fears, are now gone. We submit our childhood to the care of parent Ku."

It was then I realized that I would not have the same experience growing up as I would growing down. Ku is the parent of all of us, here to guide us on our journey to innocence. It was almost my turn to talk, I had no idea what to say though.

Another student addresses the small crowd, "I never had the chance to be a child, it was stolen from me, but now I can live the childhood I never had."

It was my turn, and the words came naturally, "If you call me selfish, it is because I am, and I want candy."

The crowd clapped... well they did for every other candidate, I only now realized it. I sat down between a boy and a girl, one of them held my hand. The exact reason was lost to me, but I continued holding hands as it felt comforting. Then more people came and spoke.

"I promise to be on my best behavior," he said, which was then followed up by revealing the hand behind his back with two fingers crossed.

"The younger you get the more presents you recieve"

"I am so not looking forward to middle school"

The speeches seemed to become more child like as the ceremony progressed. Were we becoming more childlike or were the more child like people last to give their speech? If the later is true, I have a long ways to go. I then let go of the hand holding mine, the boy and girl next to me had now been replaced by other classmates, holding their hand seemed... inappropriate.

The principal then gave their closing statement, "Thank you for returning your diplomas. Please leave your cap and gowns behind. I expect to see you in class tomorrow"

Once all were seated, we threw up our caps above us... they did not come back down. We all collectively removed our gown to reveal a wider range of clothing. I was wearing a rather cringy shirt that had a character from a show I liked on it. Do I seriously have no fashion sense? People were leaving off into the fog, the ground was littered with gown. The principal was busy burning all the diplomas that were collected in a bonfire. I could feel an urge to move on, so I exited into the fog.

== To be continued? ==

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Author: subanark
Timestamp: May 2, 2024 at 10:29 PM
Content: == Continued ==
Not far into the mist a door of some kind appeared before me. The door reminded me of my childhood home. Do I knock? No I live here. I slowly open the door and enter into the living room. There is a conferring lit fireplace with Ku sitting in the corner on a reclining chair, looking at the newspaper. It is not too unlike my living room... no, this is my living room, why did I think differently?

Without looking up, Ku said, "You enjoyed the party, and had a wonderful dinner there. it is late, need to be ready for school tomorrow."

The words spoke to the depths of my being. Did I forget the party? No, of course not. I continued into the house, each room replacing the memories of my previous home with this new one. I needed to take a shower, after removing my burdome some cloths, and letting the water warm up a bit. I stepped in and enabled the soothing rain upon me. I felt many painful memories washing away, going down the drain, never to be remembered again. The soap for those stubborn memories, Shampoo for those memories that repeated, and conditioner to fill in the memory gaps with what should have happened.

Had I lost track of time? No, time didn't work that way here. The shower ended, I dried off, and I felt lighter. I donned the robe, and brushed my teeth. using regret-me-not toothpaste. Sure enough all of my regrets were now in the sink. After a brief thought I washed them down the drain. Onward to my bedroom. My favorite PJs were tucked nicely under my pillow. Putting them on made me smile, how far I had come, and how much closer I am to returning. It had been dark for a while now. I was about to returned the robe to the bathroom, but it was no longer here. I must had returned it and forgotten. I turned off the lights and tucked myself in and faded into dream world.

I didn't recall waking up, maybe I never did. The sun shined through the window, warming the room. For a brief moment I panicked and thought I would be late to school. But that quickly passed, as the school day starts when I get there. Stepping out my room I was dressed with casual attire, my bed was made and my PJs relocated to under my pillow. How did this happen? It just did and it must have been rather boring to remember it.

Ku greeted me at the dining room table, "Good to see your up. Come sit and enjoy the meal I have made for you. You are a shrinking kid after all. Your lunch is also packed in your lunch box."

Sure enough, I felt a bit shorter after eating breakfast. I got my backpack, lunch, and car keys. Well that is to say I would have gotten the car keys if I owned a car. What a silly thought. Heading outside, I entered suburbia, houses as far as the eye could see, and such a beautiful day. For a moment I paused, is this where I grew up? Was it a farm, or an apartment, or something else? No, this is where I grew up... I think? The bus stop wasn't far away. The other kids had already arrived, and I was the biggest kid there. They chatted amongst themselves and almost got into a fight if not for my intervention. Two lines formed to meet the school bus, I was in the back of the right line. The bus stopped such that the door was between the two lines. The left line all shifted in unison to the right so that they were in front of the door. The right line sighed and moved to behind the other line.

The bus driver reminded us, "Kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grades in the front seats. No sitting in the back."

The kids piled in, I sat in the back, because I knew not only did the rule not apply to me, but I was required to sit in the back, as doing so encouraged the other kids to behave. As soon as the bus started, it stopped and had arrived at the school. The school kids who had not gotten off at a previous school, proceeded to vacate the bus. I was last to leave. Entering the school, the smell of gum was all familiar. Was it though, I couldn't recall? Heading down the halls it felt quite crowded, and yet I no one was around. I found my locker, held the combination lock in my hand, and it just opened on its own. I had long since forgotten the combination anyways. I grabbed my books closed the door and the lock was gone. It was no longer needed.

My first class was English, and the class was nearby. I sat down in my seat, and the teacher started attendance. As each student said "here" they disappeared from the class and from my memory. I was last on the roll, and replying "here" left me in the classroom alone. The teacher then instructed the class (just me) that there was a test today on the readings. I was passed a test that had multiple choice and short answers on it. The test was already filled out in my handwriting.

"Erasers ready," proclaimed the teacher.

With my eraser in hand I removed the answers to each question. With each answer, the knowledge needed to answer it was forgotten. The bell rang at the end of class. Lunch was next, I guess the two classes after English had a similar experience. I headed to the lunchroom bag in hand and sat alone at one of the tables and ate the food that was inside. Once again I felt myself become smaller, I was no longer in grade 12, but I was now in grade 9.

===To Be continued==