My Life In Diapers (Al)
MY LIFE IN DIAPERS (AL)
My earliest memory begins at age 3 when I remember my father being angry and punishing me by putting me back in diapers for pooping in my pants. This included making me go outside in just a diaper so the older kids could make fun of me.
I do not remember feeling that this took on any form of punishment for me, as I now had a better way to deal with accidents by using a diaper.
The challenge I had with being toilet trained proved to be too much and I wanted to get back at my father, so I learned to enjoy the experience of a full diaper. It would not be unusual to be punished by making me stay in my used diaper for 12 hours.
This cycle continued through age 5: I get out of diapers, and then again poop in my pants, which then would return me back to diapers.
I think my mother tried to buffer my father's aggressive attitude by encouraging me to use my diapers, calling me her little baby while changing my diaper.
My maternal grandmother, who lived only a block away, also liked me in diapers and required that I had to be in them when I stayed overnight in her home. She thought I looked cute in diapers and was not to hide them by wearing pants over them when I stayed with her.
Needless to say I enjoyed all this positive attention and was glad to comply with my mother's and grandmother's wishes. Reflecting on this now I realize she was probably talking up my wearing diapers for fear I would wet the bed, which I shared with her.
All this changed once I entered first grade at age 7, I stayed out diapers now that I was in school, fearing I would be thought of as a baby.
In early adolescence I started to investigate the matter of having difficulty controlling my bowels. I was gratified to hear that there were other kids like me that struggled having full control. It was good to know I was not alone of accidentally pooping in my pants through adolescence.
While in my late teens I started consciously pooping in my pants for the pleasure of it. I would typically do this while walking home from my high school, which was less than a mile away.
Since I didn't like using the stalls in the school bathroom I would wait till I got home around 3:30 PM. Sometimes the need to poop was powerful, creating a feeling of desperation to make it home in time before going in my pants.
Then like now, when the urge is strong I only have about five minutes to get to a bathroom. To help myself I found that if I held my hand over my butt I could check for a bulge, which could be growing in my pants. I did this since I sometimes could not tell if I just pooped. I found walking only aggravated the need to poop, especially when running as I did in the beginning.
Other times, even though I did not have a strong need to poop, I would pretend I was desperate while walking home and no one could blame me if I went in my pants. When I got home I would hurriedly go up to my room and clean up.
One day my mother approached me about always having brown stains in my underpants and I blamed the problem on weak bowel control, which I have never fully controlled. I did not reveal that I also enjoyed filling my pants for the fun of it. She angrily insisted that I go back to wearing diapers again, and that I will be responsible for changing my diapers and cleaning up after myself.
When she came home with a big package of adult diapers, she said if I liked pooping in my pants so much I would not have access to my underwear for a week, so I would have to wear diapers 24/7.
While I was scared to be in diapers for a whole week, I could not believe that she was going to support the very thing I had wanted all along, but did not know how to go about finding and paying for them on my own.
Fortunately the timing of this was in the early summer when I was out of school. Luckily, she promised that she would not tell my siblings in response to my pleadings.
To Pee or Not to Pee
Now at the age of 17 I was becoming a regular diaper wearer. It was so much better knowing that I now would not have to clean up my soiled underwear.
Up until now I had only used diapers for pooping and one day I had to pee very bad while walking on the way home from a shopping center. I quickly realized that the obvious solution was with me all along: I could just wet the diaper. I quickly enjoyed the warm pee that enveloped my genitals.
In my online research I found out that this was universal for other diaper lovers after visiting a number of diaper forums. Furthermore, the majority not only liked peeing in their diapers, they liked pooping as well.
Even more gratifying is knowing that there are over one million adults in United States that enjoy wearing diapers. The ratio of diaper wearing is even greater in Great Britain and Japan.
Like myself, it was commonly cited by diapers wearers the convenience of not having to go to the bathroom each time you needed to go. Without much thought peeing in the diaper became second nature.
I also found out that the name for having pooping accidents is encopresis, with an estimated prevalence between one and three percent. The disorder is thought to be more common in males than females.
Return to Diapers
Once I left home to attend college I forgoed wearing diapers and did not return till I was out of school and started my first job and my first marriage. Even though I eventually divorced my first wife, at least on the matter of wearing diapers it was never a problem.
To be supportive my first wife wore diapers with me. After persuading her to try it once it didn't take long for her to also get hooked on wearing diapers. She especially liked the convenience factor of not having to stop when we traveled. We would sometimes play a game of who could stay in their diaper the longest.
And because we were wearing the thickest (and most expensive) diapers on the market we could easily go 24 hours. Unlike her, because of encopresis I would occasionally poop in my diaper while asleep and especially when I took a nap. The loser would have to change the diaper of the winner, which usually went to me.
To me, nothing felt as wonderful as making a big firm, warm poop in my diaper, and then sitting in it. It was not unusual for me to wait pooping for two days so that my diaper would became extra loaded down from a big poop.
The bigger the bulge in the back of my diaper the more my wife liked it. She got off on talking to me if I was a baby, saying such things as, "the little boy has made a big poopy in his diaper?".
Diaper Fetish?
To all you diaper lovers and diaper wearers, do not be ashamed to wear what pleases you and makes you feel good. Do not worry about what others may say or think, who cares? As long as you are satisfied with wearing your diapers, then so be it.
Unfortunately, while my current wife mostly supports my diaper wearing, she is ashamed to have me wearing and calls it a fetish, a word that I believe is meant to be derogatory.
Despite her strong dislike of wearing a diaper herself, I sometimes wonder if she's might be afraid she would end up liking it and then take back her criticism of me wearing diapers for sexual gratification.
My position is, "what's wrong with experiencing sexual pleasure through diaper wearing?". I think if she tried wearing a diaper just once, she could be more favorable to doing it again. It is one of those things you do not know until you try it. At least this is what many people report after their first diaper wearing: how much they were surprised how much they liked it.
Like so many fallen taboos, I predict that one day adult diaper wearing for convenience or fun will be normalized. The fastest growing segment of adult diaper wearers are female millennial's for the convenience factor. Like myself, they also have discovered the sexual pleasure that wearing diapers can give you.
For me wearing diapers for fun represents the third reason. The other two are for taking care of accidents and convenience in that order. So what is initially an accident or for convenience, it is not unusual that this to be followed by some sexual excitement, especially for an accident.
When I have an accident I experience some heightened anxiety that I am going to get in trouble or be found out. What I tell others, if you want to know what my experience is like, then let your bowels build up for couple of days and hold off pooping until you can not hold it anymore, while staying close to a toilet. This is best way to appreciate what it is like to have just moments, before you load your pants.
Interestingly enough, surveys report that most adults at sometime in their life have accidentally pooped in their pants. And some of these same people go on to pants pooping and diaper pooping for the fun of it.
Update
I was told after so much diaper use you could become incontinent. Well I think this is happening to me as I can pee in my diaper and not know it until I discover I am wet. I think the same is also happening with regard to pooping in my diaper, which on some occasions I will start pooping suddenly without any warning.
The 'act' of pooping, more than the result, is what I am enjoying more. The naughtiness of doing something like pooping in my diaper or pants is a big turn on for me.
One of my favorite things to do is walk around my house letting the pressure in my colon grow beyond my attempts to control it. I will then give the slightest push and involuntary grunt as my body takes over and thrusts it into my diaper or pants...exquisite.
I specially love the feeling of a very firm and huge poop to fill the seat of my diaper, making it sag. To make this happen I would wait up to three days before pooping. This is only succeeded by sitting in my loaded diaper for half a day, including sleeping in one. There have some occasions where I have gone out in public in a loaded diaper.
I remember once in particular when I went to a movie when my diaper was exceptionally full and because of this I sat as far away as I could from others in the theater. I am fortunate my wife was supportive about letting me do this with her.
Just like peeing, I don't think my wife cares if I pooped in my diaper or pants as long is she doesn't have to smell it. Since I have taken up wearing plastic pants every time, this has helped a lot in minimizing odors.
I like the idea of letting others in my home see a big bulge in the seat of my pants and will walk around more so the bulge might get noticed. I also enjoy walking around my home in just a diaper and T-shirt. Besides my wife, thus far a number of people have seen me on purpose or by accident in my diaper.
I didn't hide my diaper from my best friend and his girlfriend when I stayed with them when we traveled together with my wife. There were two occasions when I was seen in my diaper at home by accident. On the occasion my sister-in-law was staying with us, I went out to our kitchen late at night and unexpectedly ran into her.
She at first was kind of freaked out but after I explained by answering her questions she calmed down and ended up supporting my wearing a diaper. I told her that I have a bedwetting problem and that her sister insists I wear a diaper to bed to prevent wetting it. She explained that her daughter has been wearing diapers for the same reasons. I didn't tell her that I have been supplying her daughter with diapers over the years.
The other occasion involves my live-in niece. Before she saw me in a diaper she acknowledged that she had known for months about my diaper wearing when she saw the outline of my diaper when I wore my PJ's or similar pants. She later found my stash of diapers and resupplied my bathroom to let me know she knew about my diaper wearing.
After talking to her about diaper wearing she was very supportive, even to the extent that if I wanted to wear diapers openly around her she was cool with that.
Written By: Al
Age: 48