Happily Married Long Time ABDL's
HAPPILY MARRIED LONG TIME ABDL'S
Like many of you, I have been an ABDL since childhood. Growing older hasn't changed my personal enjoyment of wetting and messing diapers as well as letting myself regress to infancy whenever I am not at work.
Like many of you, I had to hide my "accidents on purpose" when I was a kid and into my teenage years. My mother on a couple of occasions found evidence of my messing activities when I got sloppy about hiding what I had done. But she never seemed to know exactly what to do about it.
I was physically and verbally abused by my father, which I am sure contributed to my developing my wetting and messing adventures, as well as my internal desire to regress to infancy.
When I was 12, both my parents were still at work and I would run home from school and soil myself as soon as I could get into the house and be sure that I was alone. That was in 1975, and I have not outgrown that "taboo" pleasure to this day.
I still do it several times a week. Even long before I was 12, perhaps as young as when I was made to use the toilet, I never wanted to stop being in diapers.
Of course back in 1975, there was no such thing as the internet. I did not know that adult diapers existed. And I was sure that I was the only person in the world who liked to poop and wet my pants on purpose.
I wanted to be a baby again, to be confined to wearing diapers all the time, and to find a wife one day who would let me live my life that way. About finding an accepting wife, that eventually happened. I'll talk about her further down in this writing.
At the age of 12, I of course knew that this was just a fantasy. It would never happen, and I had better keep my ABDL fantasy hidden or else I would be beaten up by my dad and possibly be locked up by my mother. Never mind the problems I would face in school.
As I mentioned through my teenage years my mother seemed to know about it, but she never talked about it with me, and fortunately she never told my father as far I knew. Only twice did she find my poopy underwear, once when I was 12, and again when I was 15.
On the later occasion she demanded that I explain why I did it. I made up a lame excuse and she never talked about it again to me. I just did not have the guts to tell the truth.
My closet messing, pooping and wanting to be a baby continued into adulthood. Finally when I was 18, I nervously went to a supermarket in a city far enough from where I lived that I thought I would not run into anyone I knew, purchased the largest size of disposable baby diapers that I could find and a roll of duct tape.
The year was 1981. I had never worn disposable baby diapers before and I could hardly wait to put them on and mess and wet myself. Back then disposable diapers did not have gatherings in the legs, at least not the brand that I bought, probably Pampers, I really don't remember for sure. They folded where the diaper would fit around the crotch.
Obviously they would not fit me, but I discovered that if I unfolded 4 diapers, laid them side by side and top to bottom, I could use the duct tape to create a much larger diaper that I could fold up in the same way that the baby diapers had been folded coming straight out of the box. I did that and put it on with success.
I never felt so good, so free, so liberated, and so much like a baby. Within minutes I filled my diaper vowing to not take it off all day. I put a pair of swimming trunks over my messy and wet diaper and drove myself to the beach for an afternoon that I would always remember.
I picked a beach that was a distance from where I lived, and a place that didn't have very many people. I played in the sand and squished around in my poopy diaper without other people nearby so as not to embarrass myself.
Through my teens and into early adulthood I never dated much. I was afraid of being discovered and I didn't want to be rejected or ridiculed. I got married to my first wife at the age of 24 and I kept my secrets to myself.
Our marriage was not a good one, we just were not right for each other anyway. Some of the blame was mine. If I had dated more before I got married, I might have chosen a better mate.
I was taken in by her because she seemed interested in me. I didn't find out until later that she clung too much to her parents and she married me only to give her parents grandchildren.
We only had one child together. Even with the growing marital problems we had, I still kept my ABDL fantasies to myself and never told her or my child at any time (now an adult).
Only after I filed for divorce did she find the plastic wrapper from a pack of adult diapers in my closet, and I told her I was having a medical problem to keep from having to explain it any further in the forum of a divorce court.
After 16 years, it was over between us and I was free to explore the ABDL world in my own privacy, thanks to a relatively new invention called the Internet. I was active on line in the ABDL community on a few of the web sites that existed in the early 2000's, but I never went public about it or met anyone in person.
It was wonderful to be able to buy adult baby diapers and other accessories over the Internet. A wonderful world that I had only dreamed of before that I could not have imagined really existed.
To my surprise, there were a lot of other people out there like me. Nobody really knows the true number of ABDL's in the world today, because many of them, like myself, don't make what they do public.
After moving to another state a few years later, I was employed at a good job, but single and lonely. I am a Christian man and that comes before anything else in my life. I wanted a Christian wife, which I did not seek in my first marriage. I also would be honest with her, if such a woman even existed at all, that I am ABDL.
I remember a few years earlier seeing a post on an ABDL web site from a Christian ABDL woman who wrote that she was very unlikely to find a Christian ABDL man to marry. It was sad, and I could relate to that.
Finding a wife who is a Christian who would be accepting of my ABDL lifestyle at home would be very hard, hopeless, if not impossible. I thought of her and wished that I had made contact with her back then, but I did not.
One night in 2007 I was surfing the ABDL web sites and I found just such a woman, a Christian who herself is also an ABDL. It seemed too good to be true. And I thought I had no chance of meeting her. Especially since she lived on the other side of America from me.
She had only posted her story a day or two earlier and was going to take it down because she, like me, believed it was a waste of time to try to find a Christian mate on an ABDL web site. Before she deleted it, I contacted her thinking that I would never hear from her, mostly because of the 2500 mile distance between us. I was wrong.
She wrote back to me the next day and we graduated to talking for long hours on the phone. Soon she moved in with me and then we got married a year later.
We have been married now over 10 years, and we both thank God every day for bringing us together. In public we appear to be "normal" middle aged man and wife.
In private we can be diapered babies in sleeper suits with baby bottles with messy and wet diapers and enjoy ourselves and each other. Recently we went to the zoo diapered and left the zoo still diapered, but wet and messy with many fond memories and so many more memories ahead for us married adult babies. Life is good.
When we talk about growing old together (we are already in our mid 50's) she reminds me that as we age, people expect us to be diapered and that it will be nothing to be ashamed of. I smile and tell her that I want to be wearing a diaper when I am buried.
I have told my story because I know that some of the readers of this story feel as I did for many years, that your soul mate doesn't exist, being open about being an ABDL will scare away anyone who you think you might have a chance with.
When all seems hopeless, pray. Sometimes prayers do get answered. Never give up hope, and always be honest about who you are. Now if you excuse me, I have a diaper to fill before I go to bed. Goodnight everybody! Yes, this is a true story.
Written By: Michael
Age: 55