How I Became Addicted
HOW I BECAME ADDICTED
I have never submitted a story of any kind for the purpose of public scrutiny. This is the first time. And before I begin let me add that I don't possess an addictive personality.
It all started back in 2012 when late one night I was "clicking" around the internet and stumbled unto a website, now defunct, where individuals could belong to a group to which they felt a kinship. And they could be anonymous hence completely honest and truthful about their feeling, etc.
One such group was diaper lovers and wearers. I began reading their stories, some quite bazaar I thought at the time. Those individuals need help and counseling. Why would any normal adult person without a physical need for protection willingly wear diapers.
But I was intrigued and continued to follow their interaction among themselves. I even messaged several persons in the group. I began to learn more about them. Some were adult babies, some wore diapers on weekends, some all the time, some were bedwetters and so on.
As I continued to read their stories my interest became more intense until one day I realized I had become obsessed with the idea. Maybe loving diapers was not so unusual after all. The group seemed to be much larger than I had originally thought. I finally reached a point where I had to try it for myself to understand the attraction.
The occasion arose that summer when I would have one month alone to experiment with diapers. Excitedly, I ordered 64 men's diaper briefs. When they arrived I was so anxious to put one on I could hardly wait. I was even shaking. That's how much I had changed.
I opened the package, slipped one out and slowly put the diaper on over my naked body and adjusted my privates comfortably. I stood motionless for a few moments as the feeling of my privates being couched in the warm padded lining began to take hold. I walked around the room feeling the bulk of the diaper between my legs and it all felt so good.
I think I was addicted from that very first moment that I put the diaper on. I had read about that happening but could not imagine that it could be true. But it was for me. For the first time I felt real compassion for all those other people whom I had considered strange. I was now one of them. And it was OK.
The next step in my conversion was to actually pee in my diaper. That excited me now that I had accepted the reality that I had become a diaper lover. I took the advice of all I had learned from reading and communicating with other diaper wetters.
Very soon I experienced the immense pleasure I got from the sensation of the warm pee as it entered my diaper and begin to fill the absorbent media. My privates was couched in the warm and soft media and it felt like nothing I had experienced before. It was comforting and it help relax me. Go figure that out.
Over the next few weeks I practiced relaxing my urinary sphincter so I could pee whenever my bladder began to fill. Eventually I was able to keep my bladder empty at all times and pee almost without knowing it.
After some time I would not pee a stream but just small amounts every 10 or 15 minutes. Sometimes just dribbles like a leaking faucet. I liked that too. The end of my penis seemed to be wet all the time. That was a turn on for me as well. Hence the sexual component to my addiction.
I am aware that for others sex does not enter into their addiction. I say to each his own. For me, now, it's all OK. Of course wearing diapers also gave me the freedom of not having to run to the bathroom every hour or so and not have to worry about needing to go when I was out of the house. I could pee in the store and no one would know.
It was almost as if I had become toilet untrained. I was never able to learn to be a bedwetter and sleep through the night though in the short time I was to be in diapers. I would like to be able to wet myself in bed without waking up and having to go to the bathroom. That unlearning takes longer I am told.
The month soon came to an end, however, as did my short lived diaper wearing. Over the past five years I take advantage of periods of time when I am alone to wear diapers and still love the feeling.
I'm still addicted of course but I am forced to control it because of my situation-an unknowing spouse. But for the past several days and for the next week an a half I am in my Tena's 24/7 and enjoying my time alone. I have one on now and I can feel the warm.
Thanks for reading my story. If you are a diaper lover you will understand. If not maybe it has enlightened you and perhaps allowed you to be less judgmental and not think not us as freaks and weird misfits. If not, that's OK. I can live with it.
Since I wrote the story my addiction has remained strong but in addition I have had new longings. I now have been thinking more and more about adult babyhood.
I like using a pacifier and wonder what it would be like to live as a baby and have a room just for me with an adult crib and toys to play with. I would like to be cared for by a mommy who would change me and feed me.
I would like to watch children's TV and be able to crawl on the floor. Sometimes I think I would be willing to give up all my adult pleasures and obligations and revert to permanent babyhood.
Written By: Jay