Snuggles and Tears Chapter 41
Date Published: October 17, 2008, 9:18pm
Written By: BabyButt
Hi Folks,
I have had a few things to take care of the last couple of days, so had no time to write. Sorry to make you wait.
This one’s short, but it clears up some things, and establishes a foundation for others.
Hope you like this,
Enjoy!!
BabyButt
Chapter 41
“Why would you want to wait until Billy cries? I would think you would want to keep him from crying.” Frank asked quietly, looking perplexed.
Sharon thought for a moment before she answered. “I just think it will make it easier on him if he learns to express his emotions, and that can’t be done if we anticipate everything for him. If I do that, he’s not going to be prepared to express himself when I get it wrong.” she explained.
“Both Peter and the nurses felt that it would be better if Billy were encouraged to let his thoughts and perceptions match his physical situation. I think they believe he will be better off emotionally if he does this because most of his day will be spent in frustration and boredom otherwise. Infants start out crying the same for just about everything. As they grow, they learn and those cries change. A mother can tell by their child’s cry when a three or four month old is frustrated, scared, in pain, or hungry, because the child uses a different cry for each situation.” Sharon told him.
“He needs to understand that if he needs something, and he communicates that need, we’ll fulfill the need, whether it’s a clean diaper, a full tummy or just a snuggle. If he can’t effectively communicate that need because we don’t force him to start doing so, there will be times that his needs will go unanswered because we misunderstand.” she finished.
“OK, that makes sense, but won’t forcing this issue delay him getting back to where he belongs?” Frank asked.
“It might, but I think I would much rather take a risk of slowing his recovery, than causing him emotional problems because he doesn’t learn to express himself within his current limits. You know, you’ve said it yourself many times, people hold too much in and eventually they will have a problem. This is the same thing, except in this case, he has a much more limited ability to express how he feels.” Sharon answered.
“I guess when you put it that way, I would probably make the same choice as you just did. I guess we don’t think about this as parents because there are no other choices like in this situation. I can see how this will actually help him in the long run.” Frank said.
Rick added “Yes, it does make sense. Well, at least we’re all on the same sheet of music now, that helps.”.
“Consistency is probably the best thing for Billy right now, it’s going to help him feel secure if every situation is dealt with the same way.” Phillis said.
“Exactly how I was looking at it.” Sharon said with an appreciative smile to her mother. “That’s the main reason I had this discussion with all of you instead of just with Rick. I really think that it will help Billy if we all respond pretty much the same way toward him, and that includes you too Sweety.” she said looking at Becky.
“Me?” Becky asked.
“Yes, you need to watch us and try to understand why we do what we do, when we care for Billy. Don’t be afraid to ask questions Sweetheart, it’s how we learn. Most of what I learned about how to care for you two kids, I learned from your grandmother by watching and asking questions when I was younger, and asking and doing when I was older.” Sharon explained.
“Oh, OK.” Becky responded.
“Just so you all know, I plan on nursing him at least until he comes off of the steroids, but probably longer. Terry suggested I feed him less of the formula at a time, so he wants to eat more often. This will make it so I produce more milk for him, and that will help him fight off infections. The steroids inhibit his immune system, but breast milk contains antibodies that will replace what his body isn’t making right now.” Sharon said smiling, as she looked at Billy, still suckling at her nipple. She loved the feeling of closeness as he nursed, but knowing that she was able to provide what he needed to be healthy made her heart swell with joy.
“I was wondering why you didn’t switch to the bottle when his medication was reduced, now I know.” Rick said. He had a feeling that while the antibodies were a good reason to nurse him, she probably would have continued to do so anyway. It was clear on her face that she enjoyed feeding him this way. As he examined his feelings on this, he decided that it might be unusual, but there was no reason under the circumstances, that she shouldn’t nurse Billy. There would be some awkward moments he figured, but they would deal with that.
“Speaking of the steroids, I need you to run to the pharmacy for me Honey.” Sharon told Rick. “He’s going to need a dose of them in the morning and more formula, and we need the stuff to change his bandage on his head. I have a list of things that we’ll need, that will make it easier for you.” She finished with a smile.
“Where’s the list?” He asked.
“It’s in the bag with my clothes. The prescriptions are there too.” Sharon answered.
“OK, I may as well get this out of the way now.” He said getting up.
As Rick headed toward their bedroom, Sharon turned to Rachael and asked “Where’s Bobby?”.
“We left him with the neighbors. I figured it would go easier if he wasn’t under foot this morning, with all of the packing and setting up we needed to do in such a short period of time.” Rachael explained. "I will say, I’m not sure how I’m going to explain to Bobby why Billy is nursing though."she added.
“Hmmm. I don’t know, I’ll have to think on that one.” Sharon responded.
“Why not tell him the truth?” Phillis asked.
“What do you mean?” Rachael replied.
“Tell him that Billy needs to get medicine from his mommy, and this is the best way to give it to him.” she answered.
“That might just work.” Rachael said with a smile. “But he might just want some medicine of his own, if you know what I mean.” she added with a chuckle.
“I’m not sure exactly how to handle that, but I’m sure you’ll do what’s best for Bobby.” Phillis told her.
“Well, he is just two. It wouldn’t be horrible if I let him nurse at bedtime and nap time. I am curious how you’re going to handle this outside of the house though.” Rachael told Sharon.
“I’ve been thinking about that. I can justify it for now, because he needs what he’s getting from me. He could get very sick if he doesn’t get it. I refuse to be a hermit, and I don’t think it will do him any good either. Getting him out of the house will be good for him after things are settled, and I don’t think I’m going to want to be far from him for a while anyway.” Sharon explained.
“I agree it won’t do either of you any good to be shut in from the world. Besides, he has appointments coming up doesn’t he?” Rachael pointed out.
“Yes, so either way, this is something I’m going to have to face and soon actually, he has an appointment with Peter at the clinic in six days, to get his stitches out.” Sharon answered. She pulled Billy from her breast and picked him up, putting his head on her shoulder. Alternating between patting his back, and rubbing it firmly, he burped three times before she laid him back down, uncovering and offering her other nipple to him.
Billy was back nursing comfortably as Rick came back in the room. “Hey Pumpkin, you want to come with me?” he asked Becky.
“Sure Daddy, let me get dressed.” she answered as she got up to go get out of her pajamas and into clothes.
“I’m glad you asked her.” Sharon told Rick, “While I want to spend time with her, it will be good for her to spend time out with her daddy.” she finished.
“Yeah, my thoughts exactly.” He replied with a smile. “Besides, it will do her good to help.” he added.
Soon, Rick and Becky left for the pharmacy.
Just as they pulled away, Rachael said “We should get going as well, we need to pick Bobby up and think about lunch.”.
“Thank you both so much for all your help today.” Sharon said.
“Yes, without your help, we would never have been able to get it done in time.” Phillis added.
“Hey, no problem, we’re family. That’s what family is supposed to do.” Frank responded.
“Yeah, and it was fun.” Rachael added. Looking at Sharon she asked “Shar, you want me to come by tomorrow?”.
“No, Cathy is coming by and the Home health nurse is also going to be here for a while. How about Sunday?” Sharon answered.
“Sure, I’ll see you in two days then.” as she and Frank got their coats on.
“Great. Give Bobby a big hug for me.” Sharon said.
“Me too.” Phillis added.
“Will do. See you two later.” Rachael responded and she and Frank left.
Sharon had to admit, it felt so much better being home. This was the start of a new life for her little boy. Being home made it easier and it would allow her to establish a routine for him, hopefully making him feel more secure. “Do you think I’m handling this right?” she asked her mom as she always did when she felt doubt.
“Yes, I think you’re doing an extraordinary job of handling a difficult situation.” Phillis answered with a smile.
“I hope so. Some folks are not going to understand, I imagine.” She said.
“Well, to heck with them. The only people you need to worry about are Rick and the kids. As far as nursing him, it’s necessary right now. If you decide to continue later, which after watching you nurse him, I expect you will, then they don’t have to know that there isn’t a medical need anymore.” her mom offered.
“Thanks Mom.” Sharon replied.
“No problem, you make me proud girl. And besides, you know you love breastfeeding him.” Phillis said with a smile and a wink.
Sharon blushed and then responded with “Your right, I do.” as she looked down at her baby boy sleeping soundly, still attached to her breast.