Opposing Fixation (Chap 15 - 2018_03_23)

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Opposing Fixation (Chap 15 - 2018_03_23)
Date Published: November 17, 2015, 3:56pm
Written By: Whetoric

TABLE OF CONTENTS/
CHAPTER UPDATE LOG
CHAPTER 1(posted ver 2.0 2015_11_22)
CHAPTER 2(posted ver. 2.0 2015_11_22)
CHAPTER 3(posted ver. 1.0 2015_11_23)
CHAPTER 4(posted ver. 1.0 2015_11_24)
CHAPTER 5(posted ver. 1.0 2015_11_25)
CHAPTER 6(posted ver. 1.0 2015_11_29)
CHAPTER 7(revised ver. 1.2 2015_12_04)
CHAPTER 8(posted ver. 1.0 2015_12_03)
CHAPTER 9(posted ver. 1.0 2015_12_04)
CHAPTER 10(posted ver. 1.0 2015_12_06)
CHAPTER 11(posted ver. 1.0 2015_12_08)
CHAPTER 12(posted ver. 1.0 2015_12_10)
CHAPTER 13(posted ver. 1.0 2015_12_15)
CHAPTER 14(posted ver. 1.0 2018_03_11)
CHAPTER 15(posted ver. 1.0 2018_03_23)
Author’s Notes:
In previous stories, I’ve edited the Chapter from inside the original post, however, that comes with the downside of making the critiques not make sense anymore. Also, you can’t really -see- the differences. This may be of no interest to anyone but myself but I’ve decided that I’ll post revised Chapters in this thread as a new post, and I’ll hyperlink to the revised chapters here. Plus, I’ll include a link at the end of a revised Chapter to (1) these Author’s notes, which will function like a table of contents, and (2) the most recent version of the next chapter that was available when the revised chapter was posted.
I hope this system makes sense to you guys. As for the updates, I revised Chapters 1 and 2 to add a bit more flavor and work out some of the problems the critiques brought to my attention. I also outlined a lot more of the story so it was easier to conform the narration and plot issues. I wasn’t consistent with the third-person limitation before but I think it’s consistent now. I’ve had these characters for awhile now and never knew how to write them. Hopefully the story works. Looking for thoughts and criticism, of course.
Gosh, two and a half years. Well, here I go writing out the bits I lost in a hard drive crash. At least I got into these characters enough that I remember how I wrote it the first time. I actually lost about 7 chapters of this story I hadn’t posted yet. I spent the time to update the TOC after the transition, it will now take you to the correct Chapters again.


Re: Opposing Fixation
CHAPTER 1 (original, has been revised, see TOC)
“I’ve got you now!” London declared, tackling Anna as her older sister refused to hand over the remote control. Sometimes it devolved into real fights but, this evening, London was in a playful mood and didn’t really care what was on. Anna laughed, keeping the remote out of reach as her little sister tried to climb over her. As Anna took a deep breath, however, she practically gagged on the smell.
“Phew!” Anna declared, throwing London off of her, ending their impromptu wrestling match; that wasn’t the way it usually went, London thought, Anna usually let her win for a bit. “Don’t wrestle me in pee-pants.”
“Oh.” London thought, and sniffed the air. She couldn’t notice she smelled like pee in particular. There was an uncomfortable silence as London was forced to acknowledge that she had, at some point earlier today, peed her pants like a little kid. To try and laugh it off, she whipped her pants down to the floor, leaving her standing in her t-shirt and panties in the living room.
“Okay?” She asked Anna, giggling, as she got back into wrestling stance. “No pants now!”
“Gross, you can see where you peed!” Anna laughed, pointing at her little sister, as London looked down to see that, in fact, her panties did have a yellow circle around her crotch. Of all the days to have worn white panties! It didn’t matter though, London laughed too, happy that her sister’s reaction was amusement rather than admonishment.
She again attempted to tackle Anna on the couch only to have her sister deftly pin her to the cushions. Anna smirked as London kicked and writhed under her ineffectively.
“Let me go!” London damned, practically acknowledging her defeat.
“Or what?” Anna demanded, before reaching one arm under London and tickling her.
“Seriously!” London clamored, as she started laughed uncontrollably.
“No way; this’ll get you some respect for your big sister!” Anna cried, as tears started to form in London’s eyes from the laughing. Suddenly, London eyes grew wide as saucers and Anna instinctively let her little sister go. London began to scramble up.
“Not on the couch!” Anna called, pushing London up as London girl gripped her crotch and booked it to the bathroom, a small trail following behind her. Anna surveyed the damage; it was really minor, barely a spot on the cushion, and not worth cleaning so she just went back to watching T.V. London returned a few minutes later, wearing a different pair of pants and sheepishly sat next to Anna on the couch. Anna motioned for London to snuggle on her and London did as they watched T.V. together.
London and Anna were the second and third youngest of five siblings. Their family of six lived cramped, but happily, within a two-bedroom mobile home. The two shared their bedroom with their older sister while their older brother, baby brother, and mother shared the other room. Even London, at ten years old, knew that they were “poor” but, at the same time, life was pretty fun anyway.
Their mother was busy looking after the baby and keeping the family fed and clothed which meant that, after they’d turned about six, the only supervision came from their older siblings. None of them were really disciplined either and, as a result, the house was a complete disaster with clothes, random toys and objects, and other miscellaneous mess strewn about.
Their older brother, Daryl, was eighteen and was usually either working a part-time job to help pay the bills or was out partying. He had an easygoing atmosphere to him, which worked with his wavy blonde hair and deep, piercing blue eyes. His mother joked about him being a ladies-man, which was true, not that he ever brought his girls around his family- he was fiercely protective of his younger sisters.
Their oldest sister, Kate, was sixteen and she spent most of her time on her cell phone, running errands for their mom, or doing babysitting jobs. She contributed a little to the household but her mom let her keep most of her babysitting money for keeping up appearances for the popularity race at school. Most of that race consisted of revealing clothes, make-up and accessories that got more ire and comments from Daryl than their mother. Kate, like Daryl, had an active life outside the house and it showed in the lesser amount of sibling rivalry between her and her siblings.
Anna, the third child, was thirteen, and basically spent her days laying around in front of the T.V. or talking on the phone while watching T.V. She played with London when the mood suited her but, most of the time, London would either watch T.V. with Anna or go play outside with the other kids in the neighborhood. Anna and her were the closest, but that also meant they got on each other’s nerves.
As for London, despite what would appear to be a bad environment for discipline, and generally was for the rest of her siblings, London succeeded in school. Her reason wasn’t entirely clear even to her but it probably had to do with the fact that her older siblings hadn’t done very well at school and her mom was so proud when she’d come home with all A’s. It set her apart, and doing a little homework in the evening was worth being remembered when you’re the fourth of five children. This year she’d even been accepted in the “gifted” classes, and her mom had told everyone how proud she was. London had been on cloud nine for days after her mother had gotten the letter.
Of course, Anna couldn’t let her ride the wave of her success very long. It was only the second time mom praised London for being accepted that Anna had to hit her in her weak spot.
“Pretty good for a kid who smells like pee.” Anna chuckled, downing a forkful of macaroni and cheese. A little sibling rivalry wasn’t unheard of so the whole family took the dig in stride, it was one of the rare instances when her brother wasn’t working and they were all together. Their mother rolled her eyes at Anna’s comment.
London huffed, annoyed. Why’d did Anna even had to bring that up? She shifted in her seat automatically, grateful not to have a wet feeling beneath her. Sometimes she didn’t even notice when she had peed. It was always embarrassing when someone else called it to her attention before she had noticed and hidden the evidence.
“Be nice Anna, your sister accomplished something.” Their mom shot back, giving London a smile. “Don’t worry about her, she’s just jealous.”
“Why would I be jealous!” Anna spat, annoying that they suggested she was jealous of her little pants-peeing sister.
“You’re acting jealous.” Daryl said smugly, as Kate stifled a giggle.
“Yeah, but it -is- annoying.” Kate admitted. “You don’t have to sleep in the same room with her.”
“So wash her sheets and clothes then.” Daryl replied shrugging.
“Why doesn’t –she– wash her sheets.” Kate responded, pointing at London, with Anna nodding in agreement. Kated added: “I’m busy too, you know.”
London blushed, trying to think of someone else to deflect too. This was the problem with being singled out by mom for praise, it was natural for others, especially Anna, to go on the attack. It wasn’t particularly mean-spirited, it was just the desire of her sisters to maintain the pecking order where London was on bottom; Daryl felt for her but he also was out of the house most of the time. She knew she’d outrank her baby brother when he was old enough to be responsible but, for now, there was no one in the house with less clout.
“It’s not like –you’re busy–,” London shot back to Anna, nodding with Kate. “All you do is watch T.V. all day.”
“What?! So I should have to wash your pee-pants?” Anna said, wrinkling her nose.
London pushed a fork around the plate, sulking in the midst of her family, and certain that she should just shut up from this point forward. Daryl began talking about work, which filled the silence and let everyone get along for the rest of dinner. After dinner, she helped her mom wash the dishes in the sink, mainly to avoid Anna who was already on the couch watching T.V.
“London,” Her mom said, rubbing her back, “I am proud of you. Don’t worry about Anna, she’s just a little jealous.”
London nodded sullenly as she dried a plate.
“And don’t worry about the peeing thing, you’ll figure that out.” Her mom finished. London hung her head, normally everyone just ignored it. She hated her pants-wetting being talked about.
Her mother had never made a big deal out of it; most of the time her siblings didn’t either. She’d never, never been good about getting to the potty. Her mom had finally taken her out of pull-ups when she’d been sent to kindergarten. Even then, there was always a set of spare clothes in the nurse’s office (though normally she just bluffed her way through the rest of the day if she had an accident).
She managed to remember about the potty a lot more at school than at home, she only had an accident ever couple of weeks and, even then, she was almost always able to hide it. Her strategies consisted of only wearing black or deep blue pants and tights. She also had a number of dresses that concealed an accident quite well.
Over the years at school, after embarrassing incidents in kindergarten and first grade, London had developed a perfect poker face when she found herself wet. As a result, no one was able to pin down exactly when, or if, she had currently peed herself. The smell was inescapable but being the girl that smelled like pee was better than being the girl that everyone knew peed herself.
What was worse was something London acknowledged only to herself, peeing herself made her feel good. The rest of the time she was worrying about it but when she just let loose it provided her a sense of freedom and catharsis. After all, you couldn’t be afraid of having an accident after you’d already had one. Most mornings, it was just how she started off the day. Unbeknownst to her family, she always woke up dry with a bursting bladder- which she let loose before getting up.
Sometimes at home, just to relax, she ignored toilet in the evenings. It was just easier to go in her pants, especially when hiding it wasn’t too much of an issue. Sure, it was a little embarrassing when Anna pointed out that she was soaked but Anna wasn’t usually that observant.
With Anna’s comments at dinner in mind, London flopped onto her mattress in the corner of the room she shared with her sisters, across from Kate’s and Anna’s bunk bed. Her mattress-bed was covered in a combination of her clothes, blankets, and stuffed toys (underneath which was a plastic sheet). Most of the room was covered in dirty laundry, not just her bed, although her sisters would usually take the time to make sure her wet things ended up on her bed and didn’t mess up their stuff.
Most of the walls were plastered with either Kate’s or Anna’s posters. London could probably have asked for some wall space but there weren’t any bands she liked enough to bug Anna or Kate about giving her a spot. There was a box of menstrual pads open on the chest of drawers, a couple of pads had fallen on the floor along with miscellaneous make-ups which had fallen out of Kate’s bag. London had tried one of the menstrual pads once to see if it absorbed a wetting but it didn’t work; it was actually more uncomfortable than just waiting for her pants to dry.
Relaxing a little, and glad to be alone and for the familiar and comfortable mess of the shared room, London released her bladder, feeling the wetness soak through her pants and into the blanket under her before pulling a book from her bookshelf and reading it. The warmth would remain as long as she didn’t let the open air get to it. At least she’d be able to relax in the evening.
She felt a little guilty but also a justified. After all, if Anna and Kate were going to make fun of her about her peeing, she might as well actually do it. Besides, she liked the smell a little, London considered as she sniffed in, wriggling in the wetness she had created on her bed. The open window obviously demonstrated that her sister’s disagreed about the smell but it was early autumn and the cool night air was pleasant once she pulled another, not wet, blanket over her legs. Snuggly in her wet cocoon, she read for a little bit before allowing herself to just pass out.
The next morning London woke again, barely conscious that she had let herself pee as she felt the hot wetness spreading out from her and over her blankets again. Anna and Kate were sleeping soundly on the bunks next to her. London sat up, pulling off the now wet blanket as her emptied bladder felt relieved.
Her pants and panties were completely soaked and sticking to her butt. She considered going out to watch cartoons like that, but she was really wet and the autumn morning was a little cold. While she was still warm, London peeled her wet things off, tossing them on top of her bed-pile, and she checked her hair. Even though it was long, it had stayed out of the way of her pee and was dry this morning.
That meant a shower was unnecessary so London smell-checked the clothes on her bed until she found a clean (probably) pair of pants and a pair of panties that were dry. She’d have to bug her mom about doing some laundry either today or tomorrow, she thought, as went to the bathroom to find a brush for her hair. It was going to be the first day of her advanced program today, so she made sure to make her hair look good before heading back to her room to find some socks.
Mackenzie entered the empty kitchen, clicking the light on and washing her hands before starting to pull some bread out of the fridge to make a simple snack. She hated coming home to an empty house but that was the way it had been since mom left.
She carefully cut a slice of ham for her sandwich, making sure to cut cleanly and straight. She hated drawing the ire of her father and leaving the ham in a disheveled state would surely get her a talking-to. Finished, she ate her lunch carefully at the table before rinsing and placing the dishes in the dishwasher, then going to start her laundry.
By the time her dad was home in the evening she had dinner ready for them and two places set at the dining room table. They sat down for the meal as soon as her father placed his satchel in his room, took off his coat, and changed his work shoes for slippers. Light classical music played from the stereo on the sideboard, broken only by the quiet clinking of silverware on plates.
Mackenzie’s father looked intimidating as always, in his business shirt and tie, but he gave her a little smile as he dug into her home-cooked meal. Mackenzie knew it still wasn’t as good as her mother’s used to be but at least dad didn’t complain about it anymore. She gotten better at setting a good mood besides, which was utterly necessary to putting her dad is a decent mood.
“Umm, dad?” Mackenzie squeaked as she carefully took a bite of food from her fork. They’d settled in a little and Mackenzie hoped that breaking into conversation was appropriate by now.
“Yes?” Her dad answered, as he stopped himself from eating to look at her.
“I, uhh, I’m out of GoodNites…” She stammered, feeling her heart beat faster.
“Are you still doing that?” Her father asked derisively, as she felt his disappoint stab at her core, “eleven years old and still peeing the bed,” that’s what he’d said last time. She knew it was ridiculous and disgusting but… but she couldn’t help it.
“I… just one more pack?” She asked as her voice barely creaked out.
“Let’s hope so,” Her dad replied evenly, typing it onto the shopping list he kept on his cell phone without looking at her. “Also isn’t really appropriate dinner conversation, is it?”
“No…” Mackenzie admitted, forcing herself to take a bite even though she no longer felt like eating. “I just didn’t want to forget.”
“I suppose.” Her father said. They ate the rest of the meal with only the music breaking the silence. Finally, as her father took his last bite, he looked up to find Mackenzie sitting in her seat, feeling tiny in the presence of her father. “That was good; your cooking is getting better.”
Mackenzie, upon hearing that, was able to partially forget how pathetic she’d been earlier and bask in the moment of praise. Even if she couldn’t stay dry at night, at least she could cook a decent dinner. Tonight had been braised lamb with asparagus and mashed potatoes. It was her third attempt at the recipe for the lamb and had finally come out as she’d intended it.
Her dad nodded and excused himself to his study, leaving Mackenzie to finish up the household chores. She washed up, placing the dishes in the dishwasher and trying to keep her thoughts positive, after all, it wasn’t every night her dad complimented her cooking. She was definitely going to figure out how to stop wetting the bed; it was ridiculous that she was still doing it at eleven.
Dishes washed and homework done, Mackenzie sat on her computer, looking up causes of bedwetting and again wondering if she should ask her dad to buy her an alarm. Still, she’d be mortified if it woke him up - his rest was especially important because he might have to work. The last pack of GoodNites had lasted almost a month; surely she could fix her problem by the time she had to ask him for anymore. She’d felt herself cringe in worry when she’d realized she was down to her last two but, now, she’d bought herself another eleven wet nights before her dad would have to dress her down again.
Sighing, she wandered through the house seeing if anything needing cleaning. It didn’t. She paused outside of her dad’s study, feeling lonely.
“Mac?” The voice called from inside, “you out there?”
“Yeah dad.” She said quietly as the door opened to reveal her dad smiling at her from the other side.
“I’m sorry about dinner. Work was really stressful today, that’s all. Why don’t I buy you a big box of the GoodNites, so we don’t have to talk about it for awhile, okay?”
“I won’t need it.” Mackenzie replied, trying to be confident even as her mind cursed her for passing the opportunity up.
“I know. Just throw the extras away. I’ll leave them on your bed once I pick them up.” Her dad replied, gently patting her head. “You want me to read you a bedtime story?”
“Really?” Mackenzie said, annoyed at how much like a kid she sounded. Her dad had said she was too old for bedtime stories when she turned ten but, every blue moon, he’d offer to read her a chapter out of a book she was reading.
“Sure, why not?” He said, giving her a grin. Mackenzie felt giddy inside. Her dad was her good dad tonight, like he’d been before mom left. She knew she shouldn’t get used to it, that it’d be back to normal tomorrow, but sometimes he “spoiled” her, as he called it. She loved every moment of being spoiled.
Fifteen minutes later, Mackenzie had put on a GoodNite and her pajamas and her dad came in, picking up the copy of “Dealing with Dragons” from her nightstand. He read it to her, lovingly, complete with character’s voices.
By the time the chapter was over, Mackenzie could feel her eyes drooping as her dad kissed her forehead and turned out her light. She could feel a light pang in her bladder and knew that, if she didn’t get up, she’d probably wet the bed… but then this once was okay, her dad was going to get her a whole box after all… Not wanting to spoil the good moment, she allowed herself to fall asleep as her dad gently shut her bedroom door.


OPPOSING FIXATION - CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 2 (original, has been revised, see TOC)
Mackenzie looked up at the clock above her teacher’s head. It was 9:45, well into second period, enough into the period anyway that her teacher wouldn’t be annoyed that she hadn’t used the restroom on break. She had needed to go during first period but she’d asked for a hall pass on Monday and she didn’t want the teacher to think she was trying to ditch the class. With everyone was doing their math work quietly, Mackenzie, with a small sense of shame, went up to her teacher and asked.
“Ms. Smythe, can I use the hall pass?”
“Sure.” Her teacher replied absently, without even looking up from the papers she was grading. She felt relieved that her teacher hadn’t made her explain why she needed it.
She took the wooden token from the wall and quietly stepped outside into the cool autumn morning. She followed the desolate corridor that separated the classes; the sound of her footfalls echoed with a “twang” against the cement floor and the metal supports for the walkway’s canopy. There were restrooms much closer to her classroom but those were unacceptable– too many kids used them. Mackenzie required privacy and cleanliness in order to do her business, and that was difficult to achieve on the basis of privacy alone. As for the unsanitary conditions of her school’s restrooms– that was why she had alcohol wipes in her pocket for the toilet seat. Her bladder was shooting pin and needle like pains through her abdomen but that was normal; she’d never use a school restroom unless it was an emergency.
Further, she only used the restrooms when class was in session. She staggered the class in which she asked so that the teacher’s wouldn’t get mad at her but there was no way she could risk going during break when just anyone could walk in. Even now, she was headed to her secret bathroom on the far side of the gym, where no one ever went.
As she approached the corner of the gym she heard the sound of air-conditioner condensation dripping on the cement, mixed in with the twang of her footsteps. She spun on her left foot to turn the corner, enjoying the relative peace of the morning. As she came around the corner, Mackenzie found herself unexpectedly confronted with another kid, only two feet in front of her. Both stopped short in surprise.
London stared, her eyes wide, as the owner of the footfalls she had just heard appeared in front of her. She swallowed, feeling the lump in her throat and relief that the girl wasn’t a teacher. Mackenzie following the liquid noise to the ground, realizing in a moment that it was not an air conditioner making the pattering noise but this girl. Liquid splashed on the ground around her shoes.
London’s hand was already on holding herself, she’d attempted to stop as soon as she’d heard the other girl’s footsteps, but she’d never been able to stop the flow once she’d started going. Now here she was, finishing peeing herself in front of an unknown girl, her hand uselessly trying to stem the tide. She couldn’t even walk right when she was peeing.
Mackenzie took the scene in quickly, noticing a much larger puddle up against the wall a few feet away. London followed the other girl’s gaze to her puddle. She looked up and the girls’ eyes locked. Mackenzie stared at the grayish-blue eyes of this unknown-pants-pisser even as London stared back into hers; Mackenzie heard the girl swallow again. It was obvious what had happened here.
Mackenzie adjusted her glasses involuntarily. The pattering slowed but echoed through the corridor as London’s pee splattered through her black tights onto the pavement beneath her. She had been overly excited by her first day at the GATE program here and, after stressing for the first hour, had decided a little “accident” would both complete the morning and give her a sense of control.
There were no obvious hiding spots, she had snuck just past the gym and found herself alone. London had leaned up against the wall, checked her shirt and, certain that she was alone, let it herself go. She’d barely began to enjoy the feeling as her pee soaked through her panties and down her thighs when she heard the footsteps coming.
At first, she’d been certain they were going to turn away; she had prayed and hoped but they just kept coming closer as the puddle spread beneath her. She slowed her breathing and considered running - but if it was a teacher that might make them chase her. Still closer, she tried to stop. She grabbed herself, dancing a step forward, but the steps were still coming. Then, still peeing, she was face to face with a girl. London didn’t recognize her, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t from the other class from her school. If this girl was in the same grade as her or saw her again at lunch, she was doomed. It was the first time London had been caught peeing by a non-family member in years.
“Stupid, stupid.” London’s mind screamed. There was no way she could know that this desolate hallway wasn’t used, despite that it wasn’t around any of the classes and they’d all been told not to go this far. She’d gotten lax in her desire to just pee herself. Mackenzie just stared, slack-jawed, as London finished.
“Are you okay?” Mackenzie asked finally as the flow stopped, struck by the girl’s eyes and noticing, in pleasant surprise, that they were the same height. Mackenzie was sick of being the shortest in her class; her doctor’s assurances that she just hadn’t hit her growth spurts yet didn’t make her feel better.
Then, she realized suddenly, this girl must be mortified at peeing her tights, especially at school. Did she not know about the bathroom just around the corner? (then again, almost no one did). Concern for this new, similarly-sized girl, entered her mind. Mackenzie looked her over, she definitely hadn’t seen her around the school before but it was only one month into the new school year. Mackenzie would’ve remembered a girl with pretty blonde hair and those piercing eyes; Mackenzie loved blonde hair but her dad wouldn’t let her dye her chestnut-brown locks. London’s white-and-black polka dot t-shirt was cinched around her waist by a belt and covered her tights down to mid-thigh… and it appeared to be getting wet where London was pressing in into herself.
“Um…yea?” London managed to stammer out, finally, worried about what the girl would do. As she took in the other’s girls features, so close to her, she noticed the cute freckles dancing over Mackenzie’s nose, beneath her glasses.
“Do you want me to get a teacher?” Mackenzie asked.
“No.” London replied with certainty, suddenly realizing she was pushing her shirt into her crotch. She stared down with annoyance at the yellow circle, visible around the polka dots, covering the bottom of her shirt. “Damn it.”
Mackenzie eyes, meanwhile, went to the puddle beneath London’s feet. Mackenzie was entranced as she followed the source up London’s black tights. She’d never seen someone have an accident before. “How could someone even let that happen?” she wondered. It was disgusting, and dirty, that much she knew– but this girl wasn’t phased in the slightest. Even more amazing, she was taking the wet spot in stride. Mackenzie knew she would’ve panicked, and called home crying, for sure, if she wet her pants at school – not that it could ever happen.
“You sure? I can get a teacher.” Mackenzie offered again as she noticed London staring at the spot on her shirt.
“Yeah. Don’t tell anyone, please?” London said, hopefully, giving Mackenzie a forced smile.
“Okay.” Mackenzie agreed, to London’s relief. She added thoughtfully: “You know, you could probably clean and dry the spot in the bathroom. The one over here has a hot-air thing for hands.”
“Really?” London nodded, gratefully, suddenly deciding she liked the other girl despite her somewhat plain appearance. Mackenzie nodded, motioning for London to follow as she led the girl to her secret restroom.
The “secret” restroom, really, was probably meant only for faculty as it wasn’t marked as a restroom. All the same, it was always open (unless it was occupied but Mackenzie had never found it so) and the lock on the inside automatically opened when the door was opened. Mackenzie was actually unsure about telling someone else about it– if the adults found out kids were using it they might lock it permanently but, then, kids weren’t supposed to go over into this area anyway (the limit was the gym, technically).
The two walked inside quickly, Mackenzie opening the door for them. Inside, the room held a single handicapped-equipped toilet, a sink, and a hot-air hand-dryer. The room smelled clean for a school restroom and the soap in the dispenser was liquid instead of the gritty sand stuff the kids were usually forced to use.
“You can’t tell anyone about this restroom; okay?” Mackenzie asked, locking the door behind them. London nodded. There was only one toilet in the restroom, hence the door lock. London pulled her shirt off, unbothered by Mackenzie’s presence, as she ran the spot under the tap until the stain began to come out. She checked it repeated under the light, annoyed that the restroom had a yellow light and it was hard to tell if she had succeeded.
Meanwhile, Mackenzie couldn’t stop staring at the wet spot on the girl’s bottom. It was completely revealed after London had removed her shirt, the waistband of her panties stuck up just over her tights, and her blonde ponytail stopped just over the small of her exposed back. Unless Mackenzie had known what to look for, she wouldn’t have noticed the darker-black-on-black spot but she had seen the incident that gave rise to it. The spot spread all over the girl’s behind, and the wetness seemed to continue down the inside of her tights but Mackenzie couldn’t tell how far as it disappeared into the shadow of her thighs. For no reason that Mackenzie could discern, she wondered what it felt like to be wearing them.
“Thanks for showing me this place.” London said, sheepishly, as she finished scrubbing her shirt and the blare of the hand dryer turned on. Her concern level was dropping as the girl was clearly helping her keep her secret. “My name’s London, who’re you?”
“I’m Mackenzie,” Mackenzie replied, leaning against the bathroom wall, still transfixed on the wet spot. “I’m in sixth grade, which grade are you in?”
“I’m in fourth.” London replied, embarrassed, as she realized the girl actually went to this middle school. She hadn’t thought it from Mackenzie’s height.
“But… then why’re you at our school?” Mackenzie asked.
“I’m in the GATE program.” London explained, doubly embarrassed. Mackenzie must think she was really weird if she was in a smart-kid program and still peed her pants.
“Oh. That’s cool.” Mackenzie considered, thinking nothing of the sort. For some reason, the fact of her pants-peeing just wasn’t entering into Mackenzie’s assessment of London. “I wish I was still in elementary school. It was way more fun.”
“But you guys have different classes right? Having only one class is boring.” London argued.
“You gotta carry all your books to them though.” Mackenzie rebutted. London considered the downside of that. Anna always acted like middle school was the best thing ever (way better than elementary, Anna said), she never got to hear what was bad about it.
Mackenzie felt a severe pang in her bladder and she pulled her gaze from London’s wet butt to the toilet. Of course, there was no way she could use it with London just standing there but her bladder knew that she had reached a toilet and it had been waiting since the morning.
“Are you almost done?” Mackenzie asked, almost automatically as, in desperation, she allowed her hand to grasp her crotch. After all, London was busy drying her shirt.
“It’s gonna take a bit.” London said, turning head backwards while still holding her shirt under the hand dryer. She immediately saw Mackenzie’s predicament, Mackenzie’s hand was still clutching herself tightly. She made sure to add: “You can go while I’m here. I don’t mind.”
Mackenzie blushed profusely upon being seen. No one ever knew when she had to use the bathroom. She hated the idea that someone might even know she actually –peed– (even if it was obvious from a biology standpoint). Now, in her surprise, she’d been seen holding herself like a little kid. It didn’t matter that London had an accident moments before, Mackenzie couldn’t stand anyone knowing about her bodily functions. She immediately forced her hand back to her side, stretching her fingers, and forced herself to stand naturally and upright despite the significant pain and the shivers that ran through her body.
“No, it’s okay, I don’t have to go.” Mackenzie explained, lamely “I just… itched.”
London didn’t know what to say about that obvious lie. It was like a toddler denying they had to go when they’d gotten caught doing the potty dance, especially so because Mackenzie had obviously been on her way to this bathroom in the first place. She had also seen Mackenzie’s gaze trained on the wet spot on her tights. “Why was this girl so uptight about peeing?” London wondered. She shook her bottom playfully just to see Mackenzie’s reaction. To London’s surprise, Mackenzie blushed profusely, looking away embarrassed.
“Sorry, I just, I’ve never seen someone pee their pants…” Mackenzie admitted, assuming London’s act was a polite admonishment of her inappropriate staring.
London, herself, expected to have been teased by now. She still had rather annoying memories of kindergarten and first-graders chanting about her “pee-pants.” But Mackenzie wasn’t even using older-kid taunts. If anything, she seemed interested, which didn’t make any sense to London. Why Mackenzie acted guilty after looking at her butt also surprised her. As far as London was concerned, if you wanted to pee your pants, just do it.
So, London considered, not only was this middle-schooler helping her hide her accident, but she also seemed interested in it too. London had never thought her peeing hobby would make her cool, but Mackenzie seemed to feel that way- especially if a girl two grades higher than her was interested. Confidence growing, London decided to see if it really was cool as she allowed the dryer to stop, her shirt being only a little damp at that point.
“Wanna see my panties?” She asked, giving the question a naughty and conspiratorial tone. “I totally soaked them.” Her voice echoed off the walls a little, the quietness more palatable now that the dryer wasn’t going.
Mackenzie felt her heart jump, dumbfounded, as her bladder continued to pain her. She definitely did want to see those pee-panties but it was such an odd offer. Unable to even articulate how she felt about it, she nodded slightly as London shimmied down her tights, revealing a wide, yellow spot on her white panties (which had a multi-colored hippopotamus pattern across them). Mackenzie gulped, transfixed on the yellowed spot, as London laughed her own brazenness and, all too soon for Mackenzie, pulled her tights back up.
“That’s…” Mackenzie tried to think of something to say. It would be too weird to call it “cool” or something like that, but that was how Mackenzie felt. She wanted to call it “gross” or something like that, because she knew that was how she was supposed to think, but she couldn’t say that either. Her nose became aware of a little of the urine smell in the room but she was surprised to find it didn’t really bother her. In the end, all she could ask was a question: “aren’t you embarrassed?”
“I guess, if I’d been caught by a teacher.” London admitted, shrugging. “But no one’s going to find out, right?”
“Yeah.” Mackenzie admitted. Silence hung for a moment as Mackenzie chewed her inner cheek to distract herself from the growing need to pee; her body somehow knew the toilet was only a few feet away.
“You know, I peed my tights on purpose…” London admitted, quietly. She didn’t know why she admitted that. Maybe it was because she’d probably never see Mackenzie again and she’d never told anyone. Maybe it was because she didn’t want Mackenzie to think she’d had a real accident, like a baby. Maybe it was just because Mackenzie seemed interested. Regardless, she’d said it.
“Really?” Mackenzie asked, shocked, shivering as her bladder panged again, hard. “Why?”
“It feels good.” London replied.
“Really?” Mackenzie said, her voice in awe, even as her own bladder was telling her that, yes, peeing herself would feel good at this point.
“Yeah, but that’s a secret, like the bathroom.” London replied, smirking. She thought for a moment. “You should try it.”
“Ewww, no way!” Mackenzie replied, scandalized. But, inside herself, she could feel the temptation. It was so very completely wrong– Mackenzie knew that. It would be dirty and nasty. Still, her bladder was dying for release and she couldn’t argue London’s wet spot had made her very curious.
“You could just pee through your panties into the toilet.” London said slyly. “I’ve done that before, when I didn’t want to make a mess.”
“Really?” Mackenzie said. It felt like she was a broken record. This girl was messing up her world view of the possible and they’d met only a few minutes ago.
“I’ll keep it a secret.” London promised, giggling.
“I can’t.” Mackenzie said solemnly, squeezing her thighs. Reasonableness had quickly won out, there was no way she could hide wet panties all day; she didn’t have the confidence London had. Mackenzie wanted to bond with this girl, who’d appeared out of nowhere. She wanted to know what it was like to wet herself. She wanted… but she couldn’t overcome the fear of discovery.
“I’ll get caught. I can’t go around in wet panties all day…” Mackenzie said sadly.
“No one will find out.” London pushed, giving Mackenzie a wry grin.
“No.” Mackenzie argued, disappointed. “My dad would kill me if he found out.”
The two stood in the bathroom, both disappointed, as Mackenzie quietly fought the urge to pee. It seemed it would be over, and they’d just return to class. Then inspiration struck.
“You could use my panties,” London suggested.
“Ewww.” Mackenzie replied, “you already peed in them.”
“So, they’re already wet.” London explained, “Then yours will stay clean. I don’t care.”
The offer hung between the girls for the briefest of moments.
“Okay.” Mackenzie felt the words come out of her mouth before she’d really considered the connotations. In a moment, London had removed the mental obstacle –a chance of being caught– from the equation and, to back down now, would be the mark of a real coward. Still, why on Earth had she agreed to this?
London had already slipped her shoes off and her tights halfway down her legs when Mackenzie realized it was actually happening. She’d had agreed though and, with her heart drumming through her brain, she kicked off her shoes, unbuttoned her jeans, and her pants and panties fall to the floor. She picked her own panties up and carefully placed them on the sink, as London pried her soaked panties off her bottom and handed them to Mackenzie delicately. Mackenzie received them with the same, slightly awkward expression that London offered them.
There was an awkward moment when the girl’s both stood, naked from the waist down, as Mackenzie received the wet panties. Immediately, Mackenzie’s body realized it was naked and her need to pee increased tenfold. She practically bounced from foot to foot as she pulled the soaked panties up her legs. The cold wetness was not pleasant but Mackenzie didn’t have time to consider it as she raced over to the toilet, dancing madly as she raced back to her pants, pulled out her alcohol wipes, and ran one over the surface of the toilet seat before plopping her bottom down as an audible hiss filled the room and the cold panties immediately became unexpectedly hot as her fresh pee spread along her butt cheeks and the inside of her thighs, dropping off in rivulets into the toilet bowl.
London was stifled a giggle at Mackenzie’s display of desperation, especially the use of the wipe, as Mackenzie face filled with relief. Mackenzie looked up to see London and became consciously aware that she was actually peeing –in front– of someone. It was shocking, as shocking as the hot and sensuous feelings she was having as she pissed into someone else’s panties. It was intense, foreign, and made her feel exposed and safe at the same time. She couldn’t look London in the face, but neither could she block the girl out as she finished doing her business, trying to make sense of the physically pleasing and mentally disgusting feelings as her stream diminishing to a trickle and, finally, stopped.
Suddenly, the bell rang overhead. The girls immediately recognized that they had lost track of time. London’s eyes widened in horror.
“I’ve gotta go!” London exclaimed, knowing that, otherwise, she might miss her bus back to her elementary school and get in a lot of trouble.
“Shit!” Mackenzie likewise acknowledged, standing up off the toilet, drips still falling from the soaked panties as she pulled them off. As soon as she had handed them to London, London was wringing them out over the sink. She gave them one quick rinse, wrung them again, then pulled them on as if they were no worse for wear.
Mackenzie washed herself with some soap and water before struggling to get her own panties and pants back on quickly. The two were in a panic to get themselves sorted but Mackenzie had the clarity of mind to call out as London began to open the door.
“Let’s meet back here next week, at nine next time.” Mackenzie suggested.
“Okay!” London agreed, already halfway out of the room. Mackenzie immediately relocked the door and finished getting dressed. She’d sneak the hall pass back to the room during lunch when no one was around. Hopefully, Ms. Smythe wouldn’t have noticed she didn’t return. The rest of the period was supposed to be quiet study anyway.


Re: Opposing Fixation

WBDaddy link=topic=6645.msg65505#msg65505 date=1447811646:
A very interesting opening. Some minor word interpolation/deletion stuff, but otherwise it’s an impeccable piece of writing.
Thank you very much. I appreciate you commenting so soon, I know there wasn’t a lot to comment on.

Elibean link=topic=6645.msg65507#msg65507 date=1447845760:
It’s a wonderful set-up. I would have stayed up to read more. The background information on London’s family might have been better served in smaller chunks, but the quality of the rest makes that a minor point.
I agree that the exposition was too heavy. This story evolved from another one, with some ideas being scrapped. The chapter originally started off with exposition but then I realized upfront action would be better and it got pushed further into the chapter with the result being that it doesn’t really work anymore. I’ll remove or redact them as I find better places to lay out the same information later. My original hope out of laziness was that it still worked out but your post proves it doesn’t :-[.

WBDaddy link=topic=6645.msg65517#msg65517 date=1447949121:
As strange as the situation is, the way you weave the dialogue (both internal and external) makes it completely plausible. I have no idea where you’re going with this, but I’m definitely curious to find out…
I appreciate the supension of disbelief. My biggest concern is losing that in my readers and I work hard to keep it. Obviously, we’re running a fine line when it’s supposed to be both fantasy and, yet, plausible, but that’s the line I walk.
Thanks both of you guys for taking the time to comment on this. I know both Chapters need more touch-ups and I hope to do that later. As I outline more of the story (I’m a couple of chapters ahead) I’ll hopefully know better how to correct these. I’d rather give people a finished piece but, I’ve found, if I’m not getting active feeback I write three chapters of something and then just trash it (and then no one gets to read any of it at all).


Re: Opposing Fixation (2015-11-18 C2 posted)

soxfan08 link=topic=6645.msg65519#msg65519 date=1447965748:
Wonderful start to the story. Characters are very real and believable. Love the potential dynamic between the girls. Wonder how long it takes for them to find out peeing in dapers feels even better than panties.
I’ve been trying something new. I’m not particularly good at non-diaper content, i.e. the build-up before it begins. I get necessity of exposition, and it’s important, but at the same time I want to write a diaper story- not some other story with diaper content. On the other hand, I hugely appreciate the holding-back by other authors.
So, I spent some time over atomorashi.orgrecently, reading some personal experiences and stuff and it brought back some memories of my own youth before I knew what infantlism was. I realized there was some material there, transitioning from one to the other. In some ways I think this will be “the evolution of a fetish”


Re: Opposing Fixation (2015-11-18 C2 posted)

ludib link=topic=6645.msg65553#msg65553 date=1448138956:
I thought the situation was a bit too weird at first, but then I recalled when I was around that age my friend and I used to dare each other to do all sorts of things. I think it was about some sort of initiation to join a secret club we had. Anyway, one time my friend dared me into wetting my pants and I actually did that. It’ll be interesting to see where you’re taking this.
You and WBDaddy both seemed to have been a little put-off by “weird” or “strange” circumstances. Can either of you/both describe why? Perhaps there’s a paragraph or phrase that makes you go “no way” or something. I really don’t want anything jolting in my work so if you can point it out, I’d love to revise it. As I’m getting further into it, I’m realizing Chapter 1 and 2 need some revisions and I might as well fix this while I’m at it if I can.
Pin down exactly where I go wrong, if you can. Even though you can get over it, if you can point out where I almost lost you, I’d like to edit it.


Re: Opposing Fixation (2015-11-18 C2 posted)

WBDaddy link=topic=6645.msg65562#msg65562 date=1448147579:
Well, I might be reading this wrong, but…
I’m not a little. Hence “Daddy” in my name.
I could explain the point of discovery regarding my interest in diapers and how it connects to my humiliation kink, if that’s what you’re after. It was certainly under strange circumstances…
Whoops, fixed - I meant a little put-off by “weird” or “strange” circumstances.
Didn’t mean that you guys were little, just wondering what section or part of the chapter challenged your suspension of disbelief. If it’s a wholistic issue there may be nothing I can change but if it’s a particular paragraph or phrase, I can work on it. Was there a certain line where you suddenly wondered if this could ever happen?


Re: Opposing Fixation (2015-11-18 C2 posted)

WBDaddy link=topic=6645.msg65564#msg65564 date=1448150011:
Oh - you dropped a word in there, I think.

Was I weirded out by it? Yes. Does that mean my suspension of disbelief was challenged? No. Just means it’s kind of an alien situation to me. I’ve never encountered anyone who actually enjoyed peeing their pants in school when they were children. And I’ve at least had casual conversations with quite a few people into watersports, never mind all the DL’s and AB’s I’ve met online.
I can see the weirdness factor - but then I think that applies to a lot of stories here. I definitely enjoyed peeing my pants at that age, and I’ve met a DL that particularly did and relayed a story to me about school once or twice (not that guys can really get away with it). I kinda meshed a number of experiences into a possibility and, certainly, this would be on the fringes of a bell curve as far as potential. After all, it took me the internet to find others like me - but I’ve heard stories from people that were lucky enough to run into a kid with similar interests during their childhood.
But, if there’s something you could point to that would make it less weird without, well, taking away from the point of it all, I’ll totally consider it.


Re: Opposing Fixation (2015-11-18 C2 posted)

Elibean link=topic=6645.msg65566#msg65566 date=1448152374:
I hesitated to post earlier because my reaction was so negative that I’m not certain it will be helpful, being based on thewhatmore than thehow. But since you’ve asked… It’s the entire bathroom scene for me, and it’s more than disbelief that makes it weird. You’ve thrust the reader into an intimate situation involving children, and you did it so quickly that I lost trust in the story to represent these girls as well-rounded characters. I actually stopped reading the first time when London pulled her pants down. Because the first chapter held promise, I eventually gave it a second shot, but the rest only went deeper in a direction I wasn’t ready to go.
This is very helpful and I appreciate it. I had a destination in my outline that needed to cross a point but I can see I rushed it and that made it hard for people to accept it for a variety of reasons. I’m revising the chapter with the hope you will reread as I don’t want to alienate an author I respect.
I can understand the intimate situation/minors issue and my general rules are to stick to how I remember being. I definitely had a fascination with peeing/accidents/etc. at that age but it wasn’t sexual, however, it is hard to convey that platonic fascination without accidentally creating unintended sexual overtones. I revised that too, choosing my words more carefully. Because it wasn’t supposed to be that Mackenzie was interested in London herself but that she was interested in being a person who had an accident- I tried to convey that.

ludib link=topic=6645.msg65569#msg65569 date=1448156495:
I meant weird as in a strange situation and strange situation happens all the time in fiction and in real life. Doesn’t mean the story loses it literary merit because situations can be perceived as weird. The thing is that the reader shouldn’t lose their suspension of disbelief.
I give it a reread. Here’s some things that could be considered weird:London not particularity embarrassed for having Mackenzie find out about her accident. This would have been strange for most kids, but works according to London's character. She's had many accidents in front of her sisters, so she might not be as embarrassed as a 'normal' kid would. Suspension of disbelief not broken.Mackenzie entering the bathroom with London. Normally I don't think you'd enter the bathroom together with someone you just met, that's weird, but I can see this happen in this case as she felt tempted by London's offer and can relate to her for having an accident and wanting to help out and she really had to go to the bathroom herself. Suspension of disbelief not broken here either.London sharing that she enjoys wetting herself and wants Mac to follow her to the bathroom. She'd never told anyone before and decided to tell Mac. She isn't sure why, but maybe she was more embarrassed about having an accident than doing it on purpose. Suspension of disbelief ok again.The situation that follows do make me a little uncomfortable. I thought and hoped Mac wouldn't go through with it at first. It did feel forced, but I can't say I can't possibly see it happening like I thought at first as I recalled something similar happening to me, but as Elibean mentioned what happened between Mac and London feels a bit too intimate involving minors and it's described somewhat graphic too.
Please don't make this lose your motivation to work on this story as it had a promising start with interesting characters. I for one would like to see more of London's home situation as I found her family intriguing.
Thank you for points, they are going into my revisions as well. I was trying to keep to heavily keep genre material (diapers, wetting, etc.) in each chapter because otherwise I worry about meandering and getting boring. I think I erred on the wrong side in this case. I agree I forced Mac. I don’t know why I did that except my subconscious regrets about wussing out on any opportunity of that sort when -I- was a kid. My wussing out, of course, was more realistic, so I’ve fixed it.
You guys made me decide to rethink this entire chapter and I appreciate it, it took some major brainstorming to figure out how I could get Mac and London to where they needed to be in a more realistic manner, but I think I succeeded. Read the revised version of 1 and 2 and tell me what you think but I’m going to have to use Chapter 3 to get back to where I need to be in my outline. I must say, this is some of the most constructive feedback I’ve ever gotten on a story and the most comprehensive revision I’ve ever done based on it. Thanks again.


Re: Opposing Fixation (2015-11-18 C2 posted)
CHAPTER 1 (VERSION 2)
“Kate was super pissed at me today, just cause she found her sweater in my laundry pile. Its totally washable. School was dumb, Cary and Stacey wouldn’t let me work with them during advanced math again so I had to work with Oliver again. Oliver such a nerd. He might be cute if he didn’t wear glasses. Mom washed me favorite pair of panties when she grabbed my clothes (the pink ones). That kinda sucked, but I’m using a new pair now but its not the same yet.”– An excerpt from the journal of London Elliot, 09/30/2014
“I’ve got you now!” London declared, tackling Anna because her older sister refused to hand over the remote control. Sometimes it devolved into real fights but, this evening, London was in a playful mood and didn’t really care what was on. Anna laughed, keeping the remote out of reach as her little sister tried to climb over her. As Anna took a deep breath, however, she practically gagged on the smell.
“Phew!” Anna declared, throwing London off of her, ending their impromptu wrestling match; that wasn’t the way it usually went, London thought, Anna usually let her win for a bit. “Don’t wrestle me in pee-pants.”
“Oh.” London thought, and sniffed the air. She didn’t notice that she smelled like pee in particular. There was an uncomfortable silence as London was forced to acknowledge, regardless of smell, that she had, at some point earlier today, peed her pants like a little kid. To try and laugh it off, she whipped her pants down to the floor, leaving her standing in her t-shirt and panties in the living room.
“Okay?” She asked Anna, giggling, as she got back into wrestling stance. “No pants now!”
“Gross, you can see where you peed!” Anna laughed, pointing at her little sister, as London looked down to see that, in fact, her panties did have a yellow circle around her crotch. Of all the days to have worn white panties! It didn’t matter though, London laughed too, happy that her sister’s reaction was amusement rather than admonishment.
She again attempted to tackle Anna on the couch only to have her sister deftly pin her to the cushions. Anna smirked as London kicked and writhed under her ineffectively.
“Let me go!” London demanded, practically acknowledging her defeat.
“Or what?” Anna demanded, before reaching one arm under London and tickling her.
“Seriously!” London clamored, as she started laughed uncontrollably.
“No way; this’ll get you some respect for your big sister!” Anna cried, as tears started to form in London’s eyes from the laughing. Suddenly, London eyes grew wide as saucers and Anna instinctively let her little sister go. London began to scramble up, even while trying to keep her legs together.
“Not on the couch!” Anna called, pushing London up as London girl gripped her crotch and booked it to the bathroom, a small trail following behind her.
London ran to the bathroom, grimacing as she stepped on one of her baby brother Cody’s blocks, whipped her panties around her ankles, and plopped onto the toilet without bothering to shut the door. The trickle was a torrent by the time she sat, and her panties relatively soaked. The damage outside the bathroom was pretty minor though; she’d gotten inside before she really started going.
London didn’t really mind having a weak bladder but she really didn’t like having accidents in front of people. Finished, she pulled up her wet panties and walked back to her room. She decided she didn’t want Anna teasing her about it so, after consideration, she tossed her pee panties on the bed and searched through the larger laundry pile on her bed until she found what she thought was a clean pair and a pair of pajama pants.
She returned to the living room and Anna motioned for London to snuggle on her; London complied as they watched T.V. together. London and Anna were the second and third youngest of five siblings.
London’s family of six lived cramped, but happily, within a two-bedroom mobile home. She and her sister, Anna, shared their bedroom with their older sister Kate, while their older brother, baby brother, and mother shared the other room. Even London, at ten years old, knew that they were “poor” but, at the same time, life was pretty fun anyway.
Her sister Anna was thirteen, and basically spent her days laying around in front of the T.V. or talking on the phone while watching T.V. She played with London when the mood suited her but, most of the time, London would either watch T.V. with Anna or go play outside with the other kids in the neighborhood. Anna was the sibling that London was the closest to, but that also built up a sibling rivalry.
As for London, despite what would appear to be a bad environment for discipline (a busy mother and five kids in a small house), and generally was for the rest of her siblings, London succeeded in school. Her reason wasn’t entirely clear even to her but it probably had to do with the fact that her older siblings hadn’t done very well at school and her mom was so proud when she’d come home with all A’s.
Her success at academics set her apart, and doing a little homework in the evening was worth being remembered when you’re the fourth of five children. This year she’d even been accepted in the “gifted” classes, and her mom had told everyone how proud she was. London had been on cloud nine for days after her mother had gotten the letter.
Of course, Anna couldn’t let her ride the wave of her success very long. It was only the second time mom praised London for being accepted, while the family was in the midst of dinner, that Anna had to hit her in her weak spot.
“Pretty good for a kid who smells like pee.” Anna chuckled, downing a forkful of macaroni and cheese. A little sibling rivalry wasn’t unheard of so the whole family took the dig in stride, it was one of the rare instances when her brother wasn’t working and they were all together. Their mother rolled her eyes at Anna’s comment.
London huffed, annoyed. Why’d did Anna even had to bring that up? She shifted in her seat automatically, grateful not to have a wet feeling beneath her. Sometimes she didn’t even notice when she had peed. It was always embarrassing when someone else called it to her attention before she had noticed and hidden the evidence.
“Be nice Anna, your sister accomplished something.” Their mom shot back, giving London a smile. “Don’t worry about her, she’s just jealous.”
“Why would I be jealous!” Anna spat, annoying that they suggested she was jealous of her little pants-peeing sister.
“You’re acting jealous.” Daryl, her eighteen-year-old brother said smugly, as Kate stifled a giggle. He pushed his wavy blonde hair out of his eyes, smirking at Anna as she narrowed her gaze in return.
“Yeah, but it –is– annoying.” Kate admitted, absently pointing with her knife. “You don’t have to sleep in the same room with her.”
“So wash her sheets and clothes then.” Daryl replied shrugging.
“Why doesn’t –she– wash her sheets.” Kate responded, pointing at London, with Anna nodding in agreement. Kated added: “I’m busy too, you know.”
London blushed, trying to think of someone else to deflect too. This was the problem with being singled out by mom for praise, it was natural for others, especially Anna, to go on the attack. It wasn’t particularly mean-spirited, it was just the desire of her sisters to maintain the pecking order where London was on bottom; Daryl felt for her but he also was out of the house most of the time. She knew she’d outrank her baby brother when he was old enough to be responsible but, for now, there was no one in the house with less clout.
“It’s not like –you’re busy–,” London shot back to Anna, nodding with Kate. “All you do is watch T.V. all day.”
“What?! So I should have to wash your pee-pants?” Anna said, wrinkling her nose.
London pushed a fork around the plate, sulking in the midst of her family, and certain that she should just shut up from this point forward. Daryl began talking about work, which filled the silence and let everyone get along for the rest of dinner. After dinner, she helped her mom wash the dishes in the sink, mainly to avoid Anna who was already on the couch watching T.V.
“London,” Her mom said, rubbing her back, “I am proud of you. Don’t worry about Anna, she’s just a little jealous.”
London nodded sullenly as she dried a plate.
“And don’t worry about the peeing thing, you’ll figure that out.” Her mom finished. London hung her head, normally everyone just ignored it. She hated her pants-wetting being talked about.
Her mother had never made a big deal out of it; most of the time her siblings didn’t either. She’d never, never been good about getting to the potty. Her mom had finally taken her out of pull-ups when she’d been sent to kindergarten. Even then, there was always a set of spare clothes in the nurse’s office (though normally she just bluffed her way through the rest of the day if she had an accident).
She managed to remember about the potty a lot more at school than at home, she only had an accident ever couple of weeks and, even then, she was almost always able to hide it. Her strategies consisted of only wearing black or deep blue pants and tights. She also had a number of dresses that concealed an accident quite well.
Over the years at school, after embarrassing incidents in kindergarten and first grade, London had developed a perfect poker face when she found herself wet. As a result, no one was able to pin down exactly when, or if, she had currently peed herself. The smell was inescapable but being the girl that smelled like pee was better than being the girl that everyone knew peed herself.
What was worse was something London acknowledged only to herself, peeing herself made her feel good. The rest of the time she was worrying about it but when she just let loose it provided her a sense of freedom and catharsis. After all, you couldn’t be afraid of having an accident after you’d already had one. Most mornings, it was just how she started off the day. Unbeknownst to her family, she always woke up dry with a bursting bladder- which she let loose before getting up.
Sometimes at home, just to relax, she ignored toilet in the evenings. It was just easier to go in her pants, especially when hiding it wasn’t too much of an issue. Sure, it was a little embarrassing when Anna pointed out that she was soaked but Anna wasn’t usually that observant.
With Anna’s comments at dinner in mind, London flopped onto her mattress in the corner of the room she shared with her sisters, across from Kate’s and Anna’s bunk bed. Her mattress-bed was covered in a combination of her clothes, blankets, and stuffed toys (underneath which was a plastic sheet). Most of the room was covered in dirty laundry, not just her bed, although her sisters would usually take the time to make sure her wet things ended up on her bed and didn’t mess up their stuff.
Most of the walls were plastered with either Kate’s or Anna’s posters. London could probably have asked for some wall space but there weren’t any bands she liked enough to bug Anna or Kate about giving her a spot. There was a box of menstrual pads open on the chest of drawers, a couple of pads had fallen on the floor along with miscellaneous make-ups which had fallen out of Kate’s bag. London had tried one of the menstrual pads once to see if it absorbed a wetting but it didn’t work; it was actually more uncomfortable than just waiting for her pants to dry.
Relaxing a little, and glad to be alone and for the familiar and comfortable mess of the shared room, London released her bladder, feeling the wetness soak through her pants and into the blanket under her before pulling a book from her bookshelf and reading it. The warmth would remain as long as she didn’t let the open air get to it. At least she’d be able to relax in the evening.
She felt a little guilty but also a justified. After all, if Anna and Kate were going to make fun of her about her peeing, she might as well actually do it. Besides, she liked the smell a little, London considered as she sniffed in, wriggling in the wetness she had created on her bed. The open window obviously demonstrated that her sister’s disagreed about the smell but it was early autumn and the cool night air was pleasant once she pulled another, not wet, blanket over her legs. Snuggly in her wet cocoon, she read for a little bit before allowing herself to just pass out.
The next morning London woke again, barely conscious that she had let herself pee as she felt the hot wetness spreading out from her and over her blankets again. Anna and Kate were sleeping soundly on the bunks next to her. London sat up, pulling off the now wet blanket as her emptied bladder felt relieved.
Her pants and panties were completely soaked and sticking to her butt. She considered going out to watch cartoons like that, but she was really wet and the autumn morning was a little cold. While she was still warm, London peeled her wet things off, tossing them on top of her bed-pile, and she checked her hair. Even though it was long, it had stayed out of the way of her pee and was dry this morning.
That meant a shower was unnecessary so London smell-checked the clothes on her bed until she found a clean (probably) pair of pants and a pair of panties that were dry. She’d have to bug her mom about doing some laundry either today or tomorrow, she thought, as went to the bathroom to find a brush for her hair. It was going to be the first day of her advanced program today, so she made sure to make her hair look good before heading back to her room to find some socks.
Mackenzie entered the empty kitchen, clicking the light on and washing her hands before starting to pull some bread out of the fridge to make a simple snack. She hated coming home to an empty house but that was the way it had been since mom left.
She carefully cut a slice of ham for her sandwich, making sure to cut cleanly and straight. She hated drawing the ire of her father and leaving the ham in a disheveled state would surely get her a talking-to. Finished, she ate her lunch carefully at the table before rinsing and placing the dishes in the dishwasher, then going to start her laundry.
By the time her dad was home in the evening she had dinner ready for them and two places set at the dining room table. They sat down for the meal as soon as her father placed his satchel in his room, took off his coat, and changed his work shoes for slippers. Light classical music played from the stereo on the sideboard, broken only by the quiet clinking of silverware on plates.
Mackenzie’s father looked intimidating as always, in his business shirt and tie, but he gave her a little smile as he dug into her home-cooked meal. Mackenzie knew it still wasn’t as good as her mother’s used to be but at least dad didn’t complain about it anymore. She gotten better at setting a good mood besides, which was utterly necessary to putting her dad is a decent mood.
“Umm, dad?” Mackenzie squeaked as she carefully took a bite of food from her fork. They’d settled in a little and Mackenzie hoped that breaking into conversation was appropriate by now.
“Yes?” Her dad answered, as he stopped himself from eating to look at her.
“I, uhh, I’m out of GoodNites…” She stammered, feeling her heart beat faster.
“Are you still doing that?” Her father asked derisively, as she felt his disappoint stab at her core, “eleven years old and still peeing the bed,” that’s what he’d said last time. She knew it was ridiculous and disgusting but… but she couldn’t help it.
“I… just one more pack?” She asked as her voice barely creaked out.
“Let’s hope so,” Her dad replied evenly, typing it onto the shopping list he kept on his cell phone without looking at her. “Also isn’t really appropriate dinner conversation, is it?”
“No…” Mackenzie admitted, forcing herself to take a bite even though she no longer felt like eating. “I just didn’t want to forget.”
“I suppose.” Her father said. They ate the rest of the meal with only the music breaking the silence. Finally, as her father took his last bite, he looked up to find Mackenzie sitting in her seat, feeling tiny in the presence of her father. “That was good; your cooking is getting better.”
Mackenzie, upon hearing that, was able to partially forget how pathetic she’d been earlier and bask in the moment of praise. Even if she couldn’t stay dry at night, at least she could cook a decent dinner. Tonight had been braised lamb with asparagus and mashed potatoes. It was her third attempt at the recipe for the lamb and had finally come out as she’d intended it.
Her dad nodded and excused himself to his study, leaving Mackenzie to finish up the household chores. She washed up, placing the dishes in the dishwasher and trying to keep her thoughts positive, after all, it wasn’t every night her dad complimented her cooking. She was definitely going to figure out how to stop wetting the bed; it was ridiculous that she was still doing it at eleven.
Dishes washed and homework done, Mackenzie sat on her computer, looking up causes of bedwetting and again wondering if she should ask her dad to buy her an alarm. Still, she’d be mortified if it woke him up - his rest was especially important because he might have to work. The last pack of GoodNites had lasted almost a month; surely she could fix her problem by the time she had to ask him for anymore. She’d felt herself cringe in worry when she’d realized she was down to her last two but, now, she’d bought herself another eleven wet nights before her dad would have to dress her down again.
Sighing, she wandered through the house seeing if anything needing cleaning. It didn’t. She paused outside of her dad’s study, feeling lonely.
“Mac?” The voice called from inside, “you out there?”
“Yeah dad.” She said quietly as the door opened to reveal her dad smiling at her from the other side.
“I’m sorry about dinner. Work was really stressful today, that’s all. Why don’t I buy you a big box of the GoodNites, so we don’t have to talk about it for awhile, okay?”
“I won’t need it.” Mackenzie replied, trying to be confident even as her mind cursed her for passing the opportunity up.
“I know. Just throw the extras away. I’ll leave them on your bed once I pick them up.” Her dad replied, gently patting her head. “You want me to read you a bedtime story?”
“Really?” Mackenzie said, annoyed at how much like a kid she sounded. Her dad had said she was too old for bedtime stories when she turned ten but, every blue moon, he’d offer to read her a chapter out of a book she was reading.
“Sure, why not?” He said, giving her a grin. Mackenzie felt giddy inside. Her dad was her good dad tonight, like he’d been before mom left. She knew she shouldn’t get used to it, that it’d be back to normal tomorrow, but sometimes he “spoiled” her, as he called it. She loved every moment of being spoiled.
Fifteen minutes later, Mackenzie had put on a GoodNite and her pajamas and her dad came in, picking up the copy of “Dealing with Dragons” from her nightstand. He read it to her, lovingly, complete with character’s voices.
By the time the chapter was over, Mackenzie could feel her eyes drooping as her dad kissed her forehead and turned out her light. She could feel a light pang in her bladder and knew that, if she didn’t get up, she’d probably wet the bed… but then this once was okay, her dad was going to get her a whole box after all… Not wanting to spoil the good moment, she allowed herself to fall asleep as her dad gently shut her bedroom door.
Table of Contents
Chapter 2


Opposing Fixation - Chapter 2
CHAPTER 2 (Version 2)
“Tomorrow’s my first day at the GATE program, it’s Thursdays and Fridays, and I’m kinda nervous about it. Mom’s dropping me off with Anna at the middle school and then I take the bus back to my school afterwards. The classes are all different but I don’t know it works. I’m going to wear a long shirt tomorrow just in case, you know.”– An excerpt from the journal of London Elliot, 10/02/2014
Mackenzie looked up at the clock above her teacher’s head. It was nine forty-five, well into second period, enough into the period anyway that her teacher wouldn’t be annoyed that she hadn’t used the restroom on break. Mackenzie had needed to go during first period but she’d asked for a hall pass on Monday and she didn’t want the teacher to think she was trying to ditch the class. With everyone was doing their math work quietly, Mackenzie, with a small sense of shame, went up to her teacher and asked.
“Ms. Smythe, can I use the hall pass?”
“Sure.” Her teacher replied absently, without even looking up from the papers she was grading. Mackenzie felt relieved that her teacher hadn’t made her explain why she needed it.
She took the wooden token from the wall and quietly stepped outside into the cool autumn morning. She followed the desolate corridor that separated the classes; the sound of her footfalls echoed with a “twang” against the cement floor and the metal supports for the walkway’s canopy. There were restrooms much closer to her classroom but those were unacceptable– too many kids used them. Mackenzie required privacy and cleanliness in order to do her business, and that was difficult to achieve on the basis of privacy alone. As for the unsanitary conditions of her school’s restrooms– that was why she had alcohol wipes in her pocket for the toilet seat. Her bladder was shooting pin and needle like pains through her abdomen but that was normal; she’d never use a school restroom unless it was an emergency.
Further, she only used the restrooms when class was in session. She alternated the class in which she used the restroom so that the teacher’s wouldn’t get mad at her but there was no way she could risk going during break when just anyone could walk in. Even now, she was headed to her secret bathroom on the far side of the gym, where no one ever went.
As she approached the corner of the gym she heard the sound of air-conditioner condensation dripping on the cement, mixed in with the twang of her footsteps. She spun on her left foot to turn the corner, enjoying the relative peace of the morning. As she saw around the corner, Mackenzie found herself unexpectedly confronted with another kid, only two feet in front of her. She stopped short in surprise.
London stared, her eyes wide, as the owner of the footfalls she had just heard appeared in front of her. She swallowed, feeling the lump in her throat and the relief that it wasn’t a teacher. Mackenzie following the liquid noise to the ground, realizing in a moment that it was not an air conditioner making the pattering noise but this girl. Liquid splashed on the ground around her shoes.
London’s hand was already on holding herself because she had attempted to stop as soon as she’d heard the other girl’s footsteps. It was futile, however, she’d never been able to stop the flow once she’d started going. Now here she was, finishing peeing herself in front of an unknown girl, her hand uselessly trying to stem the tide. She couldn’t even walk right when she was peeing.
Mackenzie took the scene in quickly, noticing a much larger puddle up against the wall a few feet away. London followed the other girl’s gaze to her puddle. She looked up and the girls’ eyes locked. Mackenzie stared at the grayish-blue eyes of this unknown-pants-pisser even as London stared back into hers; Mackenzie heard the girl swallow again. It was obvious what had happened here.
Mackenzie adjusted her glasses involuntarily. The pattering slowed but echoed through the corridor as London’s pee splattered through her black tights onto the pavement beneath her. Something was… electric about the situation. It was visceral, watching that girl, it was as if her worst nightmare was unfolding before her but it had happened to someone else. An odd catharsis settled over her in that first second.
London knew why this had happened. She had been overly excited by her first day at the GATE program here and, after stressing for the first hour, had decided a little “accident” would both complete the morning and give her a sense of control. Sometimes it was the only way she could get her stress out. Today, however, it was causing more stress than it relieved.
There were no obvious hiding spots, she had snuck just past the gym and found herself alone. London had leant up against the wall, checked her shirt and, certain that she was alone, let it herself go. She’d barely began to enjoy the feeling as her pee soaked through her panties and down her thighs when she heard the footsteps coming.
At first, she’d been certain they were going to turn away; she had prayed and hoped but they just kept coming closer as the puddle spread beneath her. She slowed her breathing and considered running - but if it was a teacher that might make them chase her. Still closer, she tried to stop. She grabbed herself, dancing a step forward, but the steps were still coming. Then, still peeing, she was face to face with a girl. London didn’t recognize her, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t from the other class from her school. If this girl was in the same grade as her or saw her again at lunch, she was doomed. It was the first time London had been caught peeing by a non-family member in years.
“Stupid, stupid.” London’s mind screamed. There was no way she could know that this desolate hallway wasn’t used, despite that it wasn’t around any of the classes and they’d all been told not to go this far. She’d gotten lax in her desire to just pee herself. Mackenzie just stared, slack-jawed, as London finished.
“Are you okay?” Mackenzie asked finally as the flow stopped, struck by the girl’s eyes and noticing, in pleasant surprise, that they were the same height. Mackenzie was sick of being the shortest in her class; her doctor’s assurances that she just hadn’t hit her growth spurts yet didn’t make her feel better.
Then, she realized suddenly, this girl must be mortified at peeing her tights, especially at school. Did she not know about the bathroom just around the corner? (then again, almost no one did). Concern for this new, similarly-sized girl, entered her mind. Mackenzie looked her over, she definitely hadn’t seen her around the school before but it was only one month into the new school year. Mackenzie would’ve remembered a girl with pretty blonde hair and those piercing eyes; Mackenzie loved blonde hair but her dad wouldn’t let her dye her chestnut-brown locks. London’s white-and-black polka dot t-shirt was cinched around her waist by a belt and covered her tights down to mid-thigh… and it appeared to be getting wet where London was pressing in into herself.
“Um…yea?” London managed to stammer out, finally, worried about what the girl would do. As she took in the other’s girls features, so close to her, she noticed the cute freckles dancing over Mackenzie’s nose, beneath her glasses.
“Do you want me to get a teacher?” Mackenzie asked.
“No.” London replied with certainty, suddenly realizing she was pushing her shirt into her crotch. She stared down with annoyance at the yellow circle, visible around the polka dots, covering the bottom of her shirt. “Damn it.”
Mackenzie eyes, meanwhile, went to the puddle beneath London’s feet. Mackenzie was entranced as she followed the source up London’s black tights. She’d never seen someone have an accident before. “How could someone even let that happen?” she wondered. It was disgusting, and dirty, that much she knew– but this girl wasn’t phased in the slightest. Even more amazing, she was taking the wet spot in stride. Mackenzie knew she would’ve panicked, and called home crying, for sure, if she wet her pants at school – not that it could ever happen.
“You sure? I can get a teacher.” Mackenzie offered again as she noticed London staring at the spot on her shirt.
“Yeah. Don’t tell anyone, please?” London said, hopefully, giving Mackenzie a forced smile.
“Okay.” Mackenzie agreed, to London’s relief. She added thoughtfully: “You know, you could probably clean and dry the spot in the bathroom. The one over here has a hot-air thing for hands.”
“Really?” London nodded, gratefully, suddenly deciding she liked the other girl despite her somewhat plain appearance. Mackenzie nodded, motioning for London to follow as she led the girl to her secret restroom.
“This place is a secret, okay?” Mackenzie explained as she opened the unmarked door. London nodded.
London walked inside, letting the door close behind her, as Mackenzie leaned on the gym wall. Inside, London found a room with a single handicapped-equipped toilet, a sink, and a hot-air hand-dryer. The room smelled clean for a school restroom and the soap in the dispenser was liquid instead of the gritty sand stuff the kids were usually forced to use. It was better than anything her elementary school had, that was for sure.
Sighing, she pulled off her shirt, wringing it out before placing it under the faucet and turning on the water. She was thankful for the unknown girl that had showed her this place, it was like she had a savior. This whole thing made her feel small, being caught in wet panties at an unknown school and being saved by someone else. It wasn’t the end of the world though; a teacher could’ve found her. Then her mom would’ve found out and, if her sisters figured out what happened, she’d have been teased about it for weeks.
Meanwhile, Mackenzie felt her need to go increasing as she stood still outside the bathroom. Her desperation had been building for almost two hours and she was beginning to regret her show of charity. She should’ve at least made the girl wait until she had gone. Biting her lower lip, Mackenzie checked to the left and right and, sure that she was alone, gripping herself over her jeans, feeling that slight relief that came with the pressure.
Her free hand tensed up in a fist, turning to knock, then came back to her side. She hated that she would have to admit how badly she needed to pee if she knocked. It didn’t matter that the other girl had an accident moments before, Mackenzie couldn’t stand anyone knowing about her bodily functions. She immediately forced her hand back to her side, stretching her fingers, and forced herself to stand naturally and upright despite the significant pain and the shivers that ran through her body.
That’s when the voices floated through the air and she realized she wouldn’t be alone for long. Grown-ups, two of them, were chatting as they walked. Mackenzie looked back and forth but, on this side of the gym, there was nowhere to hide and she wasn’t supposed to be there. She knocked quick and sharp on the bathroom door. When there was no answer, she turned the knob, finding it unlocked, and let herself in.
She was greeted by the sight of the unknown panty-pisser from behind, the girl’s blonde ponytail stopped just over the small of her back, and the waistband of her white, slightly baggy panties stuck up just over her tights. The girl was bent over, scrubbing her shirt although she looked into the mirror up in surprise as the door flew open and Mackenzie came in, looking flustered.
“Someone was coming.” Mackenzie hissed as she clicked the knob lock.
“Oh.” London replied, slowly turning off the faucet as the girls heard voices from the walkway outside. Both girls tried to stop there breathing as they stood stock still. The voices rose in volume until they were right outside the door and then, to the girl’s relief, gently dropped in volume as the sound of muffled footsteps got further away. Mackenzie sighed, her adrenaline pumping, as London turned the faucet back on.
Mackenzie blushed, feeling empathy for the girl even as she reveled in seeing her worst fear made present: the darker-black-on-black spot spread across the girl’s bottom, all but invisible to those who didn’t know to look for it. The spot spread all over the girl’s behind, and the wetness seemed to continue down the inside of her tights but Mackenzie couldn’t tell how far as it disappeared into the shadow of her thighs. Mackenzie couldn’t help but wonder what it was like to be in that condition, her morbid fascination running away, as she stared at the spot.
“Thanks for showing me this place.” London said, sheepishly, as she finished scrubbing her shirt and the blare of the hand dryer turned on. Her concern level of discomfort from having Mackenzie in the room was slowly dropping. She often went around the house half-naked so another girl seeing her in a bit of undress wasn’t a bother. “My name’s London, who’re you?”
“I’m Mackenzie,” Mackenzie replied, leaning against the bathroom wall, still transfixed on the wet spot. “I’m in sixth grade, which grade are you in?”
“I’m in fourth.” London replied, surprised as she realized that Mackenzie was not looking back at her in the mirror but was glancing at her bottom. She hadn’t thought that Mackenzie actually went to this school from her height but it made sense because she knew about the restroom.
“But… then why’re you at our school?” Mackenzie asked.
“I’m in the GATE program.” London explained bashfully. Mackenzie, she considered, must think she was really weird if she was in a smart-kid program and still peed her pants.
“Oh. That’s cool.” Mackenzie considered, thinking nothing of the sort. For some reason, the fact of her pants-peeing just wasn’t entering into Mackenzie’s assessment of London. “I wish I was still in elementary school. It was way more fun.”
“But you guys have different classes right? Having only one class is boring.” London argued.
“You gotta carry all your books to them though.” Mackenzie rebutted. London considered the downside of that. Anna always acted like middle school was the best thing ever (way better than elementary, Anna said), she never got to hear what was bad about it.
Suddenly, Mackenzie’s need to go, which had been forgotten during the adrenaline rush returned in full force, Mackenzie’s legs clenching involuntarily as her body shivered in pain. London saw the pained expression on Mackenzie’s face as the girl bit her lip to keep her hand from returning to hold herself in front of someone else.
“Are you okay?” London asked.
“I’m fine,” Mackenzie managed to reply, her voice strained. “Are you almost done?”
“It’s gonna take a bit.” London said, turning head backwards while still holding her shirt under the hand dryer. A consideration dawned on London: had the girl been headed to this bathroom herself? She flicked her head toward the toilet while still holding her shirt up to the dryer. “Do you gotta go? I don’t mind.”
Mackenzie blushed profusely at the question. No one ever knew when she had to use the bathroom. She hated the idea that someone might even know she actually –peed– (even if it was obvious from a biology standpoint). Now, in her surprise, she’d been seen holding herself like a little kid. It didn’t matter that London had an accident moments before, Mackenzie couldn’t stand anyone knowing about her bodily functions. She immediately forced her hand back to her side, stretching her fingers, and forced herself to stand naturally and upright despite the significant pain and the shivers that ran through her body.
“No, it’s okay, I don’t have to go.” Mackenzie explained, even while her legs squirmed together and her face twisted in pain.
London didn’t know what to say about that obvious lie. She seemed as ridiculous as a toddler trying to deny it. She considered Mackenzie looking at her butt earlier; it must’ve been at the wet spot.
“Why was this girl so uptight about peeing?” London wondered. She shook her bottom just to see Mackenzie’s reaction as she realized London had seen where she was looking.
“Sorry, I just, I’ve never seen someone pee their pants…” Mackenzie admitted apologetically. “Is it… gross? What does it feel like?”
London, herself, expected to have been teased by now not asked about it. She still had rather annoying memories of kindergarten and first-graders chanting about her “pee-pants.” Mackenzie, alternatively, had some had to understand interest in it, which didn’t make any sense to London. As far as London was concerned, if you wanted to know what peeing your pants was like, just do it.
“If you wanna know, just do it.” London said, voicing her thoughts.
“Eww! No.” Mackenzie replied, horrified. “I’d die if I did that.”
London felt a pain of indignation at Mackenzie’s standard, but unanticipated reaction. For a girl that had been willing to help her hide her accident and shown an obsessive interest in what happened she sure was willing to stick to convention when the shoe would be on the other foot.
“How would you know?” London replied sullenly. “Have you ever done it?”
“No…” Mackenzie admitted, feeling bad about her knee-jerk reaction. Of course that was mean when the girl who’d wet herself was only a few feet away. A spasm ran through Mackenzie as she practically doubled-over from the pain, a hot spurt of pee entered her panties as her eyes shot open in horror. London knew that expression but said nothing.
“Don’t look!” Mackenzie demanded, hoping from foot to foot as she pulled her alcohol wipes out of her pocket, running them over the toilet seat with one hand as she unbuttoned her jeans with the over. Her butt plopped onto the seat with a thud as the forceful sound of her piss hitting the bowl echoed off the bathroom walls.
She slumped in relief, the greatest relief ever, as her bladder emptied itself from her near-accident. She took sharp breaths, feeling the emptiness as she finished doing her business. She looked up, only to see London looking at her, a smile on her face. Mackenzie blushed as her stomach turned, knowing she’d been seen peeing.
“I told you not to look.” She said, incensed, looking sullenly at London.
“You said you didn’t have to go.” London replied as Mackenzie blushed. “That was funny; it’s like you’re a little kid.”
“Well at least I didn’t pee my pants.” Mackenzie shot back, offended. London bristled at the comment she’d been waiting for since Mackenzie had caught her as Mackenzie wiped herself, pulled up her panties and pants and flushed the toilet.
“I peed on purpose, but I saw you went a bit before you got to the toilet, so there.” London replied haughtily before freezing as she heard the words come out of her mouth. What had she said that? Maybe it was because she didn’t want Mackenzie to think she’d had a real accident, like a baby. Maybe it was because she’d probably never see Mackenzie again and she’d never told anyone. Maybe it was just because Mackenzie seemed interested. Regardless, she’d said it, it hung in the air.
“Really?” Mackenzie asked, stopping on her way to the sink, the shock removing all her indignation. “Why?”
“It feels good.” London replied.
“Really?” Mackenzie said, her voice in awe, even as her own bladder was telling her that, yes, peeing herself would feel good at this point.
“Yeah, but that’s a secret, like the bathroom.” London replied, smirking. She thought for a moment. “You should try it some time.”
Mackenzie’s mind whirled at the prospect. Peeing her pants on purpose? Was that even possible? It was naughty, and dirty but… she supposed it was possible. How had she never even considered it before. In that instant, it was as if London had opened up a whole new line of thinking to her, a line that had been hinted at as she saw London experiencing her worst nightmare. There was a sense of control there; if it was on purpose, then you could practice at it. Maybe it wasn’t the worst thing. Maybe…
“You really did it on purpose?” Mackenzie asked, still in disbelief.
“I said so, right.” London replied, exasperated.
“I don’t believe you.” Mackenzie said, uncertain.
“I’ll prove it.” London proclaimed. “Come here next week - and I’ll do it in front of you. But you gotta do it too.”
“I can’t…my dad would kill me.” Mackenzie protested. How could she wet her pants at school? It went against everything she’d been taught.
“Scaredy-cat.” London challenged. Mackenzie’s ire flared at that, even if it was true.
“Fine.” She replied scowling over her glasses. “Next week at nine.”
Table of Contents
Chapter 3


Opposing Fixation - Chapter 3
CHAPTER 3
“I met a weird girl at the middle school today. Her name is Mackenzie and… I think she’s into the same stuff as me. She totally saved me but then was all weird about stuff. She’s not like anyone I know, but I think she’s neat. I’m not sure but we agreed to meet next week, I made it like a dare but I hope we can be friends.”– An excerpt from the journal of London Elliot, 10/03/2014
Mackenzie spent the rest of her day in a daze. It was almost palatable, the inexplicable emotions and sensations she’d had during her experiences with London. The damp, tiny wet-spot in her panties served as a reminder for another hour or so afterwards. Was she actually going to show up next week to their meeting? She’d felt challenged at the time, almost compelled to be there but now, the situation fading into a memory, she realized there was nothing London could do if she just didn’t show.
At the same time, she felt inexplicably drawn to returning anyway. She wanted to know London, to understand her. The girl was an enigma to someone like Mackenzie. She seemed so comfortable with herself, so free. After all, Mackenzie thought in utter incomprehension, she had admitted that she peed her panties on purpose. That was disgusting, wrong, and… so cool, Mackenzie mused. Her mind tried to tell her that it was nauseating but her stomach wasn’t actually bothered by it. Why was she so interested in it when it was supposed to be a kid’s worst nightmare.
She didn’t know quite how to wrap her head around it. On the one hand, she felt disgusted with herself for considering this meet-and-pee-our-panties thing. If her dad knew– well, she could be certain he would disown her. A deep, pervading sense of guilt fell upon her as she considered the meet up. Despite that guilt, she desperately wanted the week to be over right away so she could meet London again. Her thoughts were all twisted up.
What’s more, Mackenzie felt a special connection to London. Yesterday she wouldn’t have imagined that she would get involved, even insofar as to help the girl get cleaned up, except that now, after being presented with the situation, she had done it. Mackenzie’s way was to keep her head down and stay out of trouble, yet she risked her comfort to help London hide her problem. Even when London had goaded her into coming back, Mackenzie hadn’t felt any malice from her. She admitted that, without it, her instinct to just hide and forget about things probably would have won out.
That evening during dinner, the events still fresh in her mind, Mackenzie found it impossible to look her father in the eye. He didn’t seem to notice anyway, as he ate dinner quickly and headed off to continue working on a file from work. Mackenzie didn’t make an effort to talk to him; she was too confused over what had happened at school. She did her chores like normal, still detached from reality as, over and over, the incident replayed in her head.
Her evening chores done, she headed into her room, booted up her computer, and sat on Google. She had to know something more; she had to make sense of this. A quick search for “I like peeing my panties” gave her an amazing amount of disturbing results. Mackenzie found questions about it and answers, like: “whatever gets you off” and “everyone has a fetish.”
Some inkling inside her made her realize that everyone was relating it to “sex” somehow. Was it about sex? Mackenzie had never wanted to have sex, she’d never even found a boy “cute.” When all her classmates had started talking about which boys they thought were cute in the last year of elementary she’d gotten good at playing along but she’d never really thought anything like that.
Mackenzie didn’t really know much about sex; she knew that was how you made babies, that a penis went in the girl’s vagina, and her dad had dropped a pamphlet (a very embarrassing one) on her bed a few months ago that explained about “menstruation” but that hadn’t happened to her yet. Even health class was barely getting to teaching them the names of the reproductive system.
She didn’t really want to know more about that, she just wanted to know more about people who peed their panties. That was surprisingly easy to find. It didn’t take long to find a whole forum of people talking about times when they had peed their pants or panties. She read the stories with a fervor that blocked the world out. She was transfixed, she needed to know more: why some of them did it intentionally, why some didn’t mind when it happened. There were even people posting about bedwetting, a problem she understood, but never with the interest that the online communities showed in it.
It was a jolting surprise when a quiet tap finally came on her door. In shock, she fumbled to close the browser window just as her door opened, her dad sticking his head instead and glancing about.
“I know it’s not a school night, but it’s almost midnight.” Her dad said softly with an air of mild concern.
“I was just going to bed.” Mackenzie agreed, finding her throat suddenly a bit tight. She looked towards her bed, trying to avoid her father’s gaze, as she stood up from her computer desk.
“What were you doing on the computer?” Her dad asked, his voice still calm and slow.
“Ahh…. nothing.” Mackenzie stammered, still staring at the floor. Her father remained silent, her explanation sounded like she was hiding something, even to her. “I just… was looking up stuff, you know, for my… bedwetting…”
“Oh, sorry.” Her dad replied uncomfortably as he closed the door. “I didn’t mean to pry. If you need me to get you something just ask,” he continued from the other side.
Mackenzie breathed a sigh of relief at her quick thinking. She knew she had to look guilty as hell but they both knew that her bedwetting was an embarrassing thing so, hopefully, she had given a plausible reason for her discomfort. She disrobed, throwing her t-shirt, training bra, jeans, panties, and socks in her hamper in due course before holding her hair up.
She opened her closet, looking at herself naked in front of her full-length mirror as she held her hair in a pony tail like London had it, tied at the top of her head. She wished to herself dad would let her dye her hair blonde as she spun on her heel, to try and see if her hair looked at all like London’s from behind. Mackenzie’s hair was shorter though, it barely went past her shoulder blades when held up like that and the chestnut brown tint lacked the refinement she perceived from London’s locks. She wrinkled her nose, rubbing her freckles around where her glasses sat, wondering if they were cute or ugly.
Mackenzie turned and sighed as she went over to her closet, pulling out the last of her GoodNites before she’d have to open the case her dad had left on her bed today. She slipped it up her legs, a practiced motion, but tonight she considering it a little differently after what she had been reading online. The rough false-cloth exterior and stretchy sides came up around her hips. She looked down at the design, with a butterfly on the front. It was kind of babyish; she still had a few panties with designs that were old but now she only got panties that were one color or looked more grownup. Changing in gym had forced that issue.
She patted her butt tentatively, wondering what London would think if she knew Mackenzie had to wear diapers to bed. It would be humiliating, especially since London was still in elementary school and she was in middle school, Mackenzie thought but the idea of being exposed also made her feel warm and anxious inside. She wondered if London wet the bed too. She almost wanted to just admit it to London, the same way London had admitted to her that she’d had her accident on purpose but, if she didn’t, it might be a really embarrassing admission.
She looked at herself again in the mirror, wearing just a GoodNite. She looked like a little toddler in a pull-up, Mackenzie thought to herself. She was simultaneously happy with the cuteness and furious that she hadn’t started developing like some of the other girls; that fact was downright embarrassing in gym but was partly hidden that her dad bought her training bras when she asked without checking if she needed them. She snapped the front of the GoodNite absently. She wondered if London would think if she saw her in it.
Suddenly, a idea came to Mackenzie’s mind. London and her had agreed to pee their pants but London hadn’t said what they had to be wearing. She could wear a GoodNite, and then she wouldn’t have to go back into class with pee pants.
Would that be cheating, Mackenzie wondered. Maybe it wasn’t– she would pee in her pants after all, just like they said. Then she’d get to see London do it too. Mackenzie pulled on her pajama bottoms up and over her GoodNite, considering her plan. It wasn’t a bad one.
Not that Mackenzie had ever purposefully peed a GoodNite either. She wasn’t even sure she could do that. Still, at least then she would have some protection. It seemed cleaner, more acceptable somehow. She pulled on her pajama top and looked at herself again in the mirror, the GoodNite almost invisible under them.
Did she even have the courage to wear a GoodNite to school? She wondered. She sighed, hating and loving her musing about next week at the same time. She crawled under the covers and tried to sleep. Her mind was raced so fast it felt like she’d never get there yet, four hours past her bedtime, she succumbed to the night, and her dreams were various permutations of the morning’s events.
As for London, she managed to get back to class in record time but she didn’t escape being told-off by Ms. Calder for taking her so long. London wasn’t really bothered though, she’d already gotten all her work done before asking to be excused so it wasn’t like she’d lost any points. The damp panties, clinging to her bottom, were a tangible reminder of what had gone on just a few minutes ago. There was a current of exhilaration in her thoughts, just five minutes ago she had been discussing the joy of peeing herself with another girl; she’d never thought that would happen. They were even supposed to meet again. She wondered if the girl would have the courage to come.
“Mackenzie” London mouthed a couple of times, alone on her bench seat on the bus. Mackenzie was older– and that made her at least a little cool. At the same time, while she seemed interested, she also seemed completely new to peeing her pants. That made no sense to London– obviously, if you liked something, you’d do it. How could you be in middle school and not know whether you liked peeing your pants? Or, if you did like it, how could you not have done it a million times by then? It didn’t make sense to her. Still, getting to share her greater knowledge of the subject with Mackenzie was empowering. Somehow, it put her on the same level as the older girl, being more experienced in this.
London had always assumed panty-peeing was something you stopped wanting to do as you got older. At least, her mom made it seem that way. Yet, Mackenzie was going to start now, as an older kid– that was, if she showed up. It definitely didn’t make sense from the way London currently understood things but it didn’t really bother her either.
The rest of the school day felt boring by comparison. She was stuck back with a school filled with kids her own age, doing the same routine classes that were annoyingly easy. Then again, that meant she could get her work done and still have time to think about what fun they could have next week. She pushed the worry that Mackenzie wouldn’t show out of her mind. Still, what was she and Mackenzie going to do when they only had a few minutes? Maybe Mackenzie would want to be friends and they could play at each others’ houses or something afterwards.
London didn’t have any close friends, except for Anna, and Anna only partially counted because she was her sister. London had a best friend in second and third grade but Tessa had moved away when school ended last year and London hadn’t really been able to get included in a new clique yet. By the time Anna came to pick her up from school, London was dying to talk about what had happened just because she had absolutely no one else to discuss it with but, even so, the conversation would have to be filtered.
The elementary school was on the way to their mobile home from the middle school so Anna would get London from the school playground on the way. There was a daycare at the school, so there were plenty of kids still around when Anna got there half an hour later. Of course, being free, London had decided to walk around the side of the school building to engage in another wetting.
The sounds of the kids around the corner echoing off the building was fine, London decided, squatting down under an oak tree out of view of everyone. She took in a sharp breath as she leaned against the bark and a hot stream of wetness entered her almost-dried panties. Soon, it had ridden up her behind and, this time, with no one around, London was able to just enjoy it and relax. By the time Anna found her alone a few minutes late, still squatting and poking the ground with a stick, London was ready to do something else.
“London, let’s go!” Anna called. London ran over grabbed her backpack from beside the building and the two started off toward home.
Once they were on a quiet road, out of sight of school, London felt safe enough to try and pry her thrice-soaked panties and tights out from in between her butt cheeks. They were sticking uncomfortably and it was a little too cold in the autumn afternoon, with the breeze blowing against her.
“You smell like a toilet.” Anna announced, without any malice, as they walked.
“I’ll take a shower when I get home.” London agreed, a little embarrassed.
“Seriously. It’s bad.” Anna emphasized, holding her nose in disgust.
“I said I’ll shower. Geeze.” London replied, feeling a little guilty she had let it get so bad that Anna felt she needed to bug her about it. Suddenly she felt like she didn’t want to talk about her experiences with Mackenzie that morning.
“So how’d your stupid genius-class go?” Anna pressed, teasing her. “You were at my school, right?”
“It was fine.” London replied sullenly.
“Don’t be that way.” Anna said, giving London a light, playful shove as they walked. “How was it?”
“I met a weird girl who goes to your school.” London said, finally, unable to contain herself.
“You did?”
“Yeah, she… well, she saw…” London suddenly realized that she never actually confessed to even peeing her pants to anyone but Mackenzie. It was definite that her family knew that she did it but she never actually –said– the words. “I, you know, was peeing… outside… and she helped me clean up and stuff.”
“You mean she saw you having an accident?” Anna said, an eyebrow raised. London nodded, blushing. “You mean you just pissed yourself in the hall at my school?”
“Never mind.” London replied angrily, hiking up her backpack and increasing her pace to get ahead of Anna.
“Wait. Dang.” Anna replied, catching up to her little sister. “So what happened?”
“You’re just going to make fun of me.” London replied, miffed.
“I will not. Come on.” Anna pleaded.
“No.” London said, suddenly realizing that, if she continued the story, she might end up revealing the location of the secret bathroom, and that Mackenzie would definitely not be okay with her talking about that. Anna prodded for a few more minutes without success before giving up and talking about a boy in her class that she had a crush on. London listened as she always did, glad that Anna was willing to let it go.
Once home, London stripped off her soaked tights and panties and got into the shower. The hot, clean water felt great on her skin, and she soaped herself up twice before she decided to get out. Her lower area, she noticed unhappily, was a little red and raw, and she knew it was from being wet too much. She’d have to rein it in a little or it’d start burning– she hated that. She toweled off gingerly and walked back to her room naked, looking for some clean clothes to wear, only to find that everything she had was either soiled, or next to something soiled. She gathered them up into a big pile in her arms, carrying her dirty, smelly laundry through the house to the laundry alcove, dropping them in front of her mother’s feet as she folding things coming out of the dryer.
“And what are these?” Her mom asked, bending over to pick up Cody who had been playing with a loose pair of socks.
“My clothes are all dirty.” London announced, holding vast pile of laundry in front of her.
“I guessed that.” Her mom replied, motioning to her daughter’s nakedness behind the pile. “Didn’t I wash a lot of clothes for you last week.”
“Yeah…” London admitted sheepishly.
“Did you put them in your drawers like I asked?” Her mom added. London looked at the floor.
“Honestly, I’ve got things to do besides your laundry.” Her mom continued, tsking. “You’d think you could at least keep the clean clothes separate from the dirty ones. This time, can you promise me to put the clean ones away in your drawers?”
“I will, mama.” London said, playing for sympathy. Her mom rolled her eyes, patted London’s head and dismissed her daughter as she went about handling the laundry. London headed back to her room only to find Anna wasn’t watching T.V. but about to head out the door as she passed into the living room.
“Where’re you going?” London asked, stopping.
“I was going down to the park.” Anna replied.
“I wanna go!” London declared excitedly. Anna almost always just hung around and London wasn’t allowed to go to the park on her own yet. She definitely didn’t want to miss the day Anna actually wanted to go play.
“Fine. Put some clothes on then.” Anna said, exasperated with London’s lack of modesty. Her mom had just started making a small point about it.
In general, London’s family wasn’t exactly modest; especially since Daryl wasn’t around that much (even if he was there, they were family), and the rest of them were girls. It was pretty normal to walk around in various states of undress. Still, only London was young enough to stride unabashedly through the house stark-naked. Anna might go from the bathroom to the bedroom nude, but that was about the limit of her exhibitionism. She almost cringed for her little sister, along with the fact that she still wore panties emblazoned with cartoon characters and little-kid symbols.
“I don’t have anything clean, mom’s washing them.” London replied worriedly, as she recognized her dilemma.
“Just wear something dirty then.” Anna replied, flopping onto the couch while she waited.
“But… I just took a shower.” London said, annoyed. “Can I wear a pair of your pants?”
“I don’t want them smelling like pee.” Anna shot back. London frowned.
“Mama! Anna won’t let me use any of her clothes!” London yelled through the house.
“I don’t want her peeing on my clothes; it’s gross!” Anna yelled equally loudly. The two siblings glared at each other.
“London!” Their mother yelled from the kitchen. “Promise your sister you’ll be careful not to get her clothes wet.”
“I promise!” London yelled back so her mother could hear her.
“Anna! Let you sister borrow some clothes. London! You pee in your sister’s clothes and you’re in trouble, you hear me?” Their mother called back.
London shot Anna a smug glance as Anna found her least favorite pair of jeans, a pair of black panties, and a purple t-shirt for London to wear. They were a little big but London wore them happily. Kate and Anna traded clothes sometimes and it always bugged her to be excluded just cause she wet them sometimes. All of her clothes were hand-me-downs from Kate and Anna anyway. The girls yelled goodbye to their mother as they exited the house.
It was dusk by the time the Anna and London were on the way back, exhausted from playing with the other kids who had showed up at the park. It was only the mobile-home-park kids whose parents allowed them to go to the park on their own but some parents would bring their kids out to the park on a Friday afternoon as well.
London absently pulled at the back of the t-shirt she was wearing as the two walked along, carefully falling a few paces behind Anna. She had decided against wetting again that evening on account of her sore bottom and had just planned to wait until she got home because the park toilets were cold. However, in the midst of play, it hadn’t seemed as though she had to go very bad. Now, on the boring walk home, all adrenaline removed, she was thinking that, perhaps, she should have gone before they left the park. Her thighs clenched ineffectively as she felt a short, hot spurt of urine enter the panties she’d borrowed from Anna.
“You’re doing it, aren’t you?” Anna accused, spinning around, as London looked like a deer caught in the headlights. London knew she shouldn’t have slowed down but she was trying to keep control. She’d been sure she could wait until she got home but, on the walk back, the pressure on her bladder had been a bit too much for her and she’d thought that she could go just a little. It didn’t work it she tried to let go but, sometimes, she could stop if it was just a little leakage.
“No.” London lied sullenly, as she felt the stream, tiny trickle by tiny trickle, increasing and continuing to spread through her panties. She didn’t have to go that bad and, hopefully, she’d stop before it started making a puddle. Her hope came to fruition as she stopped just after it spread across her backside but before it went down her legs. The wetness chaffed and burned a bit.
“You are too.” Anna said harshly. “You’re gonna be in trouble.”
“It was an accident!” London hissed, pulling at her pants to get at the panties’ elastic gather around her leg.
“Hah, I knew you would pee!” Anna declared, annoyed.
“I did not!” London argued.
“You just admitted you did.” Anna taunted. London opened her mouth to speak but, angrily, realized Anna was right. She glowered, walking behind Anna, angry that Anna had fooled her into admitting it. They walked along further, London planning her excuses out in her mind as they walked. It took another five minutes to get home, and London still didn’t feel particularly good about any of the excuses she’d come up with. Anna, of course, wasn’t going to give her the time to find any.
“Momm!” She yelled as she flung the screen door open. “London peed in my clothes!”
“London, get in here!” Her mother’s voice called before London could even hightail it back to her room. She saw Anna was ready to catch her anyway. Chewing her lower lip, London stomped into the kitchen, Anna following closely behind to enjoy her little sister’s comeuppance. London stood, alone, in the middle of the kitchen floor as her mother leaned on the kitchen counter.
“Do I need to check?” Her mom asked, folding her arms across her chest.
“No, but… I just…” London started, “I thought I could hold it til’ I got home.” Her mom raised her eyebrow. “I mean, Anna didn’t use the toilet while we were there either…” She continued as her mother folded her arms across her chest. “I… please, I’m sorry.”
“You mean to tell me my ten-year-old girl can’t remember to use the toilet at all, even when she –knows– she’ll be in trouble?” Her mom asked increduously.
“No…I…” London stammered. Anna smiled gleefully at the exchange.
“Either you’ve forgotten how to use the toilet or you’re just pissing on your sister’s clothes to be mean.” Her mom said, pulling out one of Cody’s diapers from the pack on the kitchen counter as she placed her hands on her hips. “Maybe a little reminder of how babies are treated will encourage you to act your age?”
“Mama, this is dumb!” London bluffed, but internally she was horrified. Anna laughed as their mom held up one of her little brother’s diapers. London gulped but knew she had to stay strong or Anna would tear into her far worse; she rolled her eyes in false bravado as she obeyed, laying herself on the floor at her mother’s command like it was a game, as Anna chuckled quietly from her vantage point in the dining room.
London knew when she was beat. Sometimes her mom got in the mood to “discipline” her daughters out of guilt for not disciplining them enough. It was always sort of humiliating but her mom never made it heavier than it naturally was, and her kids knew not to fight it when the time came; her mom never made a big deal about it– if the punishee complied.
Even Kate, her eldest sister, had dealt stoically with being put over her mom’s knee in front of the family at the age of fifteen for coming home drunk last year. Anna had once tried to refuse wearing a dunce cap for the evening for her failing a class; the punishment of no T.V. for two months instead had, in the long-term, seemed to make her and the family suffer much more.
It was legitimately embarrassing that her mom was removing wet pants and panties as she laid there like an infant; London found keeping the neutral expression on her face harder than she expected as that occurred. Her mother stretched the Pamper’s tapes and London desperately hoped that the diaper wouldn’t fit. To her dismay her mom got it to hold relatively easily, although it was stretched and looked a bit silly.
“There we go, my little one’s all taken care of now.” Her mom said, dusting her hands off.
“It suits her.” Anna chimed in. As London climbed off the floor in just a undersized Pamper and Anna’s t-shirt.
“You can also hand wash your sister’s clothes that you wet.” Her mom added as London nodded. Huffily, London picked the wet panties and pants off the floor, as she headed over to the sink. It was hard trying to look serious wearing nothing but a Pamper. She grimaced as she turned on the faucet, hearing the plastic crinkling between her legs.
London found that she had no appetite that evening. It was hard to be in the mood when you were sitting around the family wearing nothing but a diaper. Kate had joined Anna in ribbing her about it for a few minutes after she got home but everyone seemed to have stopped caring since then. Really, the diaper wasn’t that bad, London knew.
The diaper was, however, a public statement that she was out of favor with mom– and that fact was getting to her. Plus, it was about something London was particularly sensitive about, even though she acted like she wasn’t She looked down at the hamburger steak. Usually it was her favorite but now her stomach just turned and twisted on itself. She was used to being calm under fire but now, her favorite source of stress relief had been turned against her. Wearing a wet diaper around would certainly be worse that a dry one.
“Isn’t baby hungry?” Anna teased, noticing London wasn’t eating much. “Maybe she’d prefer a bottle?”
London let the comment seep in without retorting. Minutes dragged by as her mom and Kate talking about Kate getting a car soon if she saved up the money. A few tears slipped out of London’s eyes as she started shaking slightly. She hated being punished; she always tried so hard to be good for Mama. She always got good grades. “Why was mama suddenly so angry about this?” she asked herself.
“Is she crying?” Kate noticing, half-amused and half-concerned.
Her mom, Kate, Anna and even her baby brother all turned to look at her. The increased scrutiny was too much, London broke into sobs, sniffing as she tried ineffectively to stop the tears by rubbing her eyes. How was she crying? She was always good at controlling herself.
“London, what’s wrong?” Her mom asked suddenly.
“I don’t… wanna… wear a diaper…” London managed to speak between sobs. Her mother and sisters looked at each other in surprise.
“Oh, honey.” Her mom said soothingly. “I was just trying to remind you to be a little more careful. Wearing a diaper isn’t nothing to cry over is it? It didn’t seem like you thought it was a big deal before…”
“She’s being a baby.” Anna said flippantly and London wailed in response.
“Lay off!” Kate ordered Anna. “Geeze, she’s really upset.”
“Come on.” Her mom declared, picking her daughter up. “You girl’s keep eating and watch Cody, we’ll finish up later.”
London buried her face in her mom’s chest as she was carried, for the first time in years, back to her bedroom. Her mother sat her down on her mattress and sat across from her on Anna’s bed. The sounds of dinner and her siblings were now distant mummers as her mom closed the door.
“You going to be okay?” Her mom asked. London nodded as she sniffed and wiped at her eyes. Her breathing was still ragged even if she had managed to quit crying out loud. Her mom took a breath in “phew, it is a bit rank in here.”
“I’m sorry.” London added pitifully.
“Ehh, whatever.” Her mom replied. “I’ll wash it all, that’ll hold it for another week or two. Now, do you know why you got punished?”
“Cause’ I wet my pants.” London said, drawing in a breath as her breathing began to slow.
“Oh, come on now. Is that what you really think?” Her mom pressed.
“Cause I wet Anna’s clothes?” London tried.
“That’s right, it was disrespectful to your sister, who I forced to loan you her clothes. How would you feel if Anna just came in and tore a few pages out of one of your books.”
“I’m sorry.” London stammered.
“Don’t tell me, tell Anna. Mommy didn’t want you cry like that, she forgets that you don’t like us talking about the peeing because you usually act like such a big girl about it. It wouldn’t have gotten to Anna or Kate at all if I’d made them wear one, so I forgot, but did we learn our lesson?”
London nodded mutely, she hated her mother talking to her like a toddler but she liked the hug and she couldn’t deny she’d been crying like a baby just a minute ago.
“Well, then I guess you can take it off.” Her mom decided. “Now go enjoy your dinner. I put your clean clothes in your drawers for you.”
London nodded, still torn up by the emotional rollercoaster as she went to her drawers to find her clothes washed and folded neatly. She selected a fresh pair of panties and pajamas and changed into them, coming out to the dining room. Anna and Kate were nice to her the rest of the evening and London, still frazzled and her butt still a little raw, made darn sure to use the toilet when she had to go.
Table of Contents
Chapter 4