Poem: Put it out of your Mind
Date Published: April 10, 2015, 9:10am
Written By: anon86733754
Put it out of your mind.
Forget about it.
Don’t worry.
Don’t obsess.
Don’t be anxious.
But I am.
I obsess and I worry.
I make myself anxious.
Remember that time you tripped on nothing?
You don’t care.
You put it out of your mind.
I look down, avoid cracks and crevices.
I obsess.
Remember that embarrassing thing you did in 3rd grade?
You don’t, you forgot about it.
But I do.
I remember every second.
I’m 26 and it still makes me anxious.
There is no face for mental chaos and disorder.
You can’t see it.
You can’t hear it.
You can’t feel it.
Only I can.
Every day, every hour, every minute.
The world spins on.
People live their lives.
And I obsess.
And I worry.
And I make myself anxious.
Remember that time you created something?
You thought it was beautiful, and others laughed.
Eventually you let go.
Eventually you dealt with it.
It still stings like fire,
every word uttered.
So many nagging voices
So many harsh words
my mind is spilling out
like spaghetti falling to the floor.
Strand by strand.
String by string.
You have a job.
I have government assistance.
You go out with friends.
I scroll through tumblr,
hoping a friend on skype might message me.
You’ve got a degree and a career.
I’m still playing catch up,
I just want to be good at something.
I’m depressed, so I must be lazy.
I have OCD, so I’m just being difficult.
I’m anxious and have PTSD, so I’m just making excuses as to why I can’t attend your nieces birthday party.
I have dissociative issues and alters, so I’m just a special snowflake.
I cut myself, so I’m just an attention whore.
I cut myself…and you say I’m just an attention whore.
I cut myself…….because I wish to god someone would pay attention and care.
Eons of loneliness,
an eternity of tears.
The sands of time slow for no one.
Cells die, hair dies, animals die, plants die.
Death waits for no one.
Death comes for me, it comes for us all.
Maybe now, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a hundred years.
It comes.
It comes closer and closer.
And I obsess.
And I worry.
And I make myself anxious.
And I just want a chance to live.
But putting it out of my mind is easy…right?