Lil Lilly
Date Published: November 25, 2021, 12:29am
Written By: anabdlgirl
Chapter 1
I stumbled blearily into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes, making myself a cup of morning energy with the Keurig. I probably didn’t need the coffee today- it was a Saturday and I had no intentions of getting out of the house- but I still wanted the coffee. As I took a sip I heard the footsteps of my roomie, Katie.
“Morning Lilly.” Katie said, stretching. Instead of verbalizing a response I just nodded and raised my mug in her general direction. It was too early for words. She made her way over to me so that she could also use the Keurig. The Keurig was our own little meeting spot every morning. She bumped into me playfully as she waited on her mug to fill.
Katie and I had been friends since forever. We even made sure to attend the same college together. In part because we didn’t want to drift apart and in part because we knew between the two of us we could easily afford to rent a small house instead of dorms where we would struggle to even fit enough bed. Katie was studying neurology, and I writing. She often joked that I couldn’t handle numbers, which was true, and I would always retort that she just didn’t have my creative spark.
At some point we non-verbally agreed to migrate from the Keurig to the couch. Katie had the remote, and was flipping through channels so quickly I didn’t know how she was able to decide that she didn’t want to watch any of them, At one point there was the bright colors of what was clearly a little kid’s show, causing me to blush and sink more into the couch.
“What’s up with you?” Katie asked, seeing my obvious embarrassment. I felt my heart skip a beat when she asked me. There was no way I could talk about…
“Oh just waking up!” I said a little too quickly. I knew that she knew that I was bull crapping her, but she didn’t want to fight it. I sighed a little, which got me a small look from Katie. I just sipped my coffee, trying to move past it. Eventually she decided on the news. Boring. Just listening to some old man telling me about the ‘sunny skies’ was nearly enough to negate the caffeine I was drinking. I reached into my pyjama pocket to grab my phone but it wasn’t there. I must have left it in my room. Conveniently for me, Katie had just gotten up to put away her mug.
“Hey,” I said lazily “while you’re up can you get my phone? It’s in my room. Thank you!” I said. Katie made a point to roll her eyes dramatically, so I stuck my tongue out at her.
“Whatever,” she said. I watched her put her mug away and then looked away happily when I saw her walk towards my room. I put my mug on the table in front of the couch, telling myself I’d pick it up when I got up later. If I got up later at least, I wasn’t entirely against spending all day on the couch. It didn’t take long for Katie to get back, tossing me my phone.
“Here you go, Lil’ Lilly.” She said, causing me to blush. I don’t remember when she came up with that name as a kid but I remember when she first said it I had blushed so brightly her mom asked me if I had gotten a sunburn. So of course the nickname never died out.
“You’re only like, one year older than me.” I said, probably more defensively then necessary. Katie laughed and sat down, going back to watching daily snooze. I unlocked my phone and went paper white. It was on my Discord. Seeing the familiar app made me reflexively tilt my phone away from Katie. Not only was it on Discord, but it was on my PMs with an online friend of mine named BestCG. We had met in an ABDL Discord server and took a liking to each other. We weren’t like, together or anything, she certainly wasn’t my mommy. We just liked to keep in touch outside the hectic atmosphere of an active Discord server. I had a message from her that she sent last night that I don’t remember reading, a joke about me being in diapers that made my stomach flutter. She knew I didn’t actually wear even though I wanted to but that didn’t stop the friendly teasing. I tried to remember when I had read it, but with how long I stay up talking to her at times blanks in my memories like that weren’t uncommon. I sent her a blushing emoji and put it out of my mind. I decided to scroll on Reddit for a bit, doing my best to updoot only the best of memes. In my Redditing I hadn’t noticed Katie had left the couch until she was tapping me on the shoulder, now fully dressed for the day in a pair of jeans, a black blouse and a matching black purse.
“I’m going out,” she said. “I’ll probably be gone most of the day so go ahead and eat without me.” I was surprised at this sudden announcement, we almost always knew about each other’s plans long before hand.
“And where are you going? On a Saturday no less.” I asked. She just waved my question away, which was frustrating but I got the hint. This was a no Lilly errand. I shrugged. “Have fun.” I said before she walked off. Looks like I had the house to myself today. If this were one of those ABDL stories this would be where I would baby up, only to fall asleep or something so Katie could catch me. But that was ridiculous, life wasn’t some ABDL story. Besides, even if I wanted to baby up I couldn’t, I didn’t own any ABDL stuff. You can’t catch what isn’t there. So instead I regulated myself to adult activities. I got up and brought my mug to the sink, making sure to wash it out. Now that the caffeine was kicking in, I was starting to want to actually be productive. I went upstairs to my room so I could sit at my desk. It was writing time. I wanted to be an author, but unfortunately writing books is a lot harder than thinking about the books you wanted to write. So I got out my current project, the first book in what I hoped would become a fantasy series. I tapped my pencil to the paper, but the words just didn’t want to come. And yes, I still use pencil and paper. Call me old fashioned but it worked for most writers in history and so it worked for me. Eventually some scenes came to mind, but unfortunately they were scenes that would take place much later in the book. I sighed, frustrated. Tis the life of a writer with ADHD, to be constantly thinking of every scene but the one you are trying to write.
When the words finally came to me, I got into the writing zone. When I finished the current chapter and still had some steam in me it was a miracle, and I wasn’t going to squander it. By the time I was finished for the day, the sun had begun to go down. I got up and stretched, it was time to eat. I heard my tummy rumble in agreement. I went downstairs and looked in the refrigerator and instantly saw my dinner. Leftover pizza. I grabbed the box, and a soda. Sitting down on the couch again I changed the TV from cable to YouTube and started to watch my favorite channel, Good Mythical Morning. I had been watching them for years, and I had no intention of stopping any time soon. I began to eat my cold pizza, relishing in just how little effort went into this meal. Everything tasted better lazy. Between the coffee from earlier and the soda now, it wasn’t long before I began to feel a pressure in my bladder. Sighing, I paused the video and went to the restroom. As I was sitting on the pot, I couldn’t help but think about how much more convenient it would be to have been wearing a diaper. But alas I was not wearing a diaper, so I was forced to use the toilet like an adult.
After my short potty break I went back to the couch to finish my episode, and then of course binge a few more. While I was watching I heard Katie come in.
“Took you long enough, you weren’t kidding when you said all day.” I said when she was in view.
“Yeah, yeah” she said. “I’m going to put everything up and then I’ll be back down.” She said. “You better have saved some pizza for me.” I glanced at the box, there were still a few slices left. After Katie came back without her bags she grabbed a few of the slices, leaving me with one left. I gave her the puppy dog eyes, causing her to laugh. “I know for a fact I’m not taking a majority of the slices considering there were a lot more last night.” Fair enough I guess. As she ate, I noticed Katie kept glancing at me, trying to suppress a smile.
“By the way” she said after she took her last bite. “There is a surprise for you on your bed.”
“Really?” I asked excitedly. Katie simply nodded, but I could see she was just just excited as I was even if she didn’t want to show it. “Thank you!” I said, getting up and rushing upstairs to see what it was.
When I got into my room all excitement left my body as I froze up. On my bed was a childish pink dress and a large- seemingly adult- white diaper with letter blocks all over them.
Yeah, def gotta get ideas down ASAP! I’m glad you seemed to enjoy my story so far!
Chapter 2
It took me a few seconds to even process what I was seeing. Katie had to have bought the dress and diaper, but I didn’t know why she would. Sure I wanted them- I mean they were adorable!- but there was no way she could know that. I went up and grabbed the diaper off the bed, the crinkling in my hand like music to my ear. There were pink, blue and green letter blocks on the front that spelled no words in particular, as well as a wetness indicator that ran along the center. Both the diaper and the dress, despite their childish appearance, were clearly sized for an adult. Eventually it dawned on me that I was probably supposed to wear the gifts. There wasn’t any baby powder or lotion with the outfit, but I knew we had some in the bathroom that both Katie and I sometimes used for skin care. I went to the bathroom to grab it, thankful that we had just recently bought some. I decided to go ahead and just diaper myself on the bed even if I wasn’t happy about knowing I’d get powder all over my sheets. I stripped myself of my pajama pants, and then my underwear.
Before laying down I undid the diaper, the crinkling even louder now then when I was merely holding the padded underwear. I layed down on the bed and slid the diaper under me, the softness taking me back to the one time I had tried a diaper post potty training. It was just like I remembered, only so much more. The lotion was so much colder then I was expecting when I started to rub it into my skin, but that was probably only because of where I was applying. I grabbed the baby powder and spread it liberally all over my diaper region, The smell brought me back to a time that was too deep in my memories to actually remember. Finally I tapped up the diaper. I was officially wearing a diaper.
I sat up and just…vibed in the diaper. I wasn’t able to close my legs completely because of the thickness, and the softness around my waist was a heavenly feeling. Eventually I turned my attention to the dress. It was equally, if not more, adorable then the dress. The base was a soft baby pink, and the ruffles on the skirt and sleeves were white. On the chest of the dress was a giant magenta heart, the base of which went to the hem line and the two bumps of the heart being on either side of the neck. It felt like I had seen Disney Princess dresses with more subtly than this, though that was in no way a bad thing. After all, it isn’t like I’d ever have to wear it outside the house. I stood up and, after taking off my shirt, slid the dress over my head. I looked at myself in my full length mirror and blushed when I saw the skirt only covered about half my diaper. I looked adorable though, and despite my rosey cheeks I couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. The only thing left now was to show Katie.
Butterflies began to well up in my tummy as I waddled to the door, some of them the good kind and some of them the bad kind. Would she laugh at me? What if this was some practical joke and she didn’t even know I was ABDL? I knew she had to see me, after all she had bought the outfit, but that didn’t help my nerves. I eventually decided that if I was going to do this I couldn’t do it alone. I waddled over to my drawers and pulled out a cream colored stuffed bear. Hermione. Hermione was tied with Katie for my oldest friend, since both have been in my life since before I could form actual memories. I gave Hermione a bear hug. I knew carrying her wouldn’t exactly make me look more adult, but it wasn’t like that was on the table anymore.
After I braced myself, I finally left my room. I could hear the TV still playing meaning Katie was still downstairs. I carefully waddled down the stairs, stopping on the last step. Once I turned the corner there was no going back. I would be in full view for Katie in all my diapered glory. Squeezing Hermione a little harder I took a step forward.
As I thought, Katie was still on the couch. She had apparently not heard me come down, because she paid me no mind. I cleared my throat to get her attention. When she saw me, her face lit up like a christmas tree. She squealed, her hands rushing to cover her mouth.
“You! Are! So! Adorable!” She said, her hands not dropping. “You’re even carrying Hermione!” Suddenly I began to examine the floor very intently, had that crack always been there? Hmm yes no need to look at Katie right now…
Katie came up to me, putting a hand on my face, startling me. Her face was still lit up so brightly that I wanted to just…I didn’t know what I wanted to do. But I wanted to do it.
“Seriously,” she said “you’re adorable.” I couldn’t help but smile at her. She seemed to like the outfit as much as I did.
“How?” I asked, the words leaving my lips before I knew I was saying them. “How did you know?”
“When you asked me to get your phone I noticed you had a message from someone named ‘BestCG’. I’ve known I was a caregiver for years, and the idea that you were talking to one was just too intriguing. So I maybe kind of sort of possibly looked at your messages.” She said. “Please don’t be mad at me,” she began to speak more frantically “it’s just that the idea you were into CGL or even ABDL was too perfect to pass up.” Hearing Katie say ABDL was the weirdest thing that had happened today, including me wearing a diaper. It almost felt wrong coming from her, like an actor accidentally reading the wrong character’s lines.
Instead of talking, I just hugged Katie. Katie was quick to hug back. Her embrace was warm and comforting in a way it had never been before. I felt like I weighed nothing, like I was walking on air. She began to stroke my hair, and I nuzzled myself further into her chest. The world around us dissolved as seconds turned into hours. I never wanted to part from Katie and I sensed that Katie wanted the same.
Eventually, however, we did part from one another. Katie sat on the couch and motioned for me to do the same, so I did.
“Now, I hope you know that like any good baby you’ll have rules.” She said. My tummy once again felt warm. Was she…was she wanting to enter a formal MDLG relationship with me? I didn’t have any complaints of course. I simply nodded.
“First off, diapers are only worn by babies who aren’t potty trained. Not big girls who can use the toilet. Are you a big girl?” She asked. The question felt so pointed that it was near tangible.
“No.” I said, my voice high and squeaky. I was feeling smaller and smaller by the second.
“Well then, you’ll have no reason to be using the toilet. You’ll wear diapers and you will use them fully. Of course, if you could tell when you were going you would be a big girl who wears big girl panties, so you won’t be able to tell me when you’ve had an accident. You’ll just have to wait for me to check and change you. Is that OK?” I could tell the question was genuine. She was asking for my consent to the rules. I nodded, which rewarded me with a smile.
“Great! Rule number 1 is established.” She said cheerfully. Number 1?! That was like three rules in one! “Now, you said you weren’t a big girl. The only people who I know that can walk are big girls. Would I be right in expecting you to be crawling?” Again, the question was sincere. Again, I nodded.
“Alrighty then! Now, I’m sure a baby like you knows what this is.” She said, reaching into her pocket. She pulled out a pink and sparkly pacifier that I wanted instantly.
“Paci!” I shouted, causing Katie to giggle.
“Good girl! Now, whenever an adult puts this in your mouth you are to keep it in your mouth until you are told you can do otherwise. OK?” She asked. I gave a third nod.
“Last one baby girl.” She said, causing my heart to flutter. “These are only ground work. I’m able to tell you things that carry the same weight as these three rules. Should you break them, I’ll also need to punish my little brat.” She said, so I stuck my tongue out at her. ”Are you OK with all this?” She asked. “Do you have any questions?”
“It’s all perfect!” I said, grinning ear to ear. “But, I do have one question…what do you want me to call you?” I asked. Katie didn’t respond immediately.
“What do you want to call me?” She asked. We both knew what the other was thinking, but we were feeling each other out. Or at least that’s what I think is going on?
“Mommy?” I asked, my voice going quiet. When Katie didn’t respond, I was scared she didn’t hear me. I didn’t want to say it again.
“Mommy is perfect.” She said, smiling at me. We hugged again, though this time it was a lot shorter.
“Thank you. Really, so much.” I said, feeling happy enough to cry. Instead of responding, she plopped the paci in my mouth.
“Well then, Lil Lilly, it’s time to start your second babyhood.” Mommy said. I couldn’t agree with her more.
I suckled on the paci Mommy had put on my mouth, looking at her. I didn’t know what to do next, and I’m not sure she did. The silence between us wasn’t broken until Rhett on Good Mythical Morning- which we had left running but had paid no mind to- let out a mild curse word. Mommy let out a dramatic gasp when she heard it, looking first at the TV then at me.
“This isn’t age appropriate at all!” She said, grinning through every word. “I should change it to something more suitable for babies like you!” The warm feeling in my stomach returned full force, but I was also disappointed to hear I couldn’t watch my favorite channel.
“Bu Ka- uh Mommy! I wa dis all da time!” I complained through the paci. Mommy was clearly enjoying this.
“Tsk tsk tsk little girl,” she said, wagging her finger “you aren’t big enough to watch a show with a potty mouth if you aren’t big enough to potty outside your diapers.” My face went crimson red, but the warm feeling in my stomach didn’t go away. Even if I wouldn’t admit it I was enjoying this just as much as Mommy seemed to be.
“Fine,” I conceded my voice high and a little whiny. Happy with my concession, mommy took the remote and began to look through various baby shows on YouTube. Eventually she settled on Blue’s Clues, a classic. Even if I wasn’t a little this show would probably be nostalgic enough to watch from time to time, but then again I didn’t know how non littles think.
Between the memories of my early childhood attached to the show, the bright colors and childish nature of the show, and my undeniably infantile state I was in, I quickly fell into little space. I even began to answer Steve when he would ask the camera a question, which mommy found hilarious apparently because she would giggle every time. I didn’t get what was so funny. I didn’t want to be rude and ignore Steve.
At some point, Mommy pulled me towards her so that my head was resting on her chest. I scooted closer to her, and we were officially cuddling. It was nice. Despite knowing her for years we had never cuddled before, and I instantly wished we had begun this sooner. Her warmth radiated into me and calmed me even more than the paci I was sucking on. She began to stroke her hands through my hair and everything was right. Eventually focusing on the show became hard as my eyes began to droop. It wasn’t long before I was out like a light.
When I woke up, it took me a second to figure out why I had slept on the couch. The diapers were a good reminder though. Mommy was still asleep, but that was no surprise. She always slept in later than me. I grabbed Hermione off the floor, who had fallen at some point last night.
“Sorry about that.” I whispered to Hermione, trying not to wake Mommy up. It was then I noticed a pressure in my bladder. I got up to walk to the restroom only to remember I was now no longer to walk nor use the restroom. Sitting back down on the couch I suckled on my paci. I knew what I needed to do but I was nervous. I knew that Mommy had said to use my diapers but…that still was uncharted territory in practice.
Might as well cross that bridge now. I relaxed my bladder and felt as my diaper both warmed up and swelled slightly. There was a slight tingling sensation when the diaper was absorbing my ‘accident’ but none of it was unpleasant. In fact it was the opposite of unpleasant, pleasant. The hissing was a bit louder then I had expected, but that was fine. No one else was awake to hear it but me. And Hermione of course, but she wouldn’t tell anyone.
Eventually I heard Mommy groaning as she woke up. She looked at me and smiled, so of course I smiled back. I wondered if she could see I was wet, but I stuck to my rules and said nothing.
“Good morning baby,” she said tiredly. She sat up and yawned as she stretched her back, her arms going high into the air.
“Good mor’ing mommy” I said back, the pacifier still making it impossible to talk properly. Mommy patted my head, and then got up and walked to the Keurig machine. I got off the couch, admittedly much more slowly, and got onto my knees so I could crawl over to her. Once I got to her I sat on my bum, my diaper squishing as I did so.
Looking up at Mommy from the floor was a bit jarring. She seemed so giant, and I seemed so tiny. She was already taller than me- 5’5 to my 4’6- but this was a whole other ball league. Now I had to look up just to see her waist!
Mommy finished making her coffee and began to drink it. There was no way I could make my own, so I just watched her. Eventually she got the hint.
“Oh no baby,” she said “this drink is for adults only.” It took a second for what she had just said to really sink in. No coffee?! “Don’t worry, I’ll let you have it on school days. But on the weekends it isn’t like you really need it, if you get tired I can just put you down for a nap.” I guessed she was right, and she said I could have it on school days so it wasn’t like she was really taking it from me. “Now go back to the couch and I’ll make you something.” She ordered. I obediently crawled back over and got on the couch, though it was a bit harder getting onto the couch from the floor.
I looked at Hermione in my hand, searching for something to entertain me until whatever Mommy was making was ready. I began to make her dance, starting with making her arm do the classic disco point thing. Then I began to shake her, her head flopping from side to side as I did so.
“Breakfast is ready baby!” Mommy said, interrupting my choreography session. She came in holding a bowl of oatmeal in one hand, and a baby bottle scaled up for an adult in the other. How much baby stuff did she buy? I reached out to grab the bowl but she moved the bowl out of my reach.
“I can’t trust someone as little as you to not make a mess, I’ll have to feed you myself.” She said, winking at me. Gosh, she was good at this. I thought back to her past boyfriends and girlfriends, had she been any of their mommies before? None of them seemed little but that didn’t mean they weren’t. I smiled at her.
“Silly me!” She exclaimed suddenly. “I forgot your bib!” She went upstairs for a few minutes, and came down with a small piece of fabric. “Isn’t it pretty?!” She asked, holding it up in front of me . It was white, and written in a pink cursive was Messy Baby. I nodded, and she tied it around my neck and took out my paci. She pulled the coffee table up closer to the couch and sat down on it. She stirred the oatmeal in the spoon and pulled a glob of oatmeal out of the bowl. “Here comes the airplane!” She said, making airplane noises as she pushed the spoon towards me. I opened my mouth and in went the spoon. The oatmeal was good, it tasted like there was cinnamon in it. When she pulled the spoon out of my mouth she seemingly on purpose let some of the leftover oatmeal drop onto my bib.
“See what mommy was talking about? Such a messy eater! Good thing you have a bib or else you would have dirtied your pretty dress” She teased. I opened my mouth to protest, but before I could there was another spoon of oatmeal in my mouth. This went on for a while, though she only occasionally let oatmeal get onto my bib. Though sometimes instead of the bib she let it smear on my face. When the bowl was empty she lifted my bib and used it to wipe my face clean. She went and put the bib somewhere in the kitchen, though exactly where I couldn’t see. When she came back she grabbed the bottle from the table and sat on the couch, patting her lap. I instantly knew what she wanted and my heart fluttered. I laid my head in her lap and she slid the nipple of the bottle between my lips. I began to suck and warm milk came out. I couldn’t help but look up at Mommy’s smiling face, not that I would ever want to look anywhere else.
“Such a good baby,” she cooed. I couldn’t say anything of course, but I did my best to smile through the bottle. The milk wasn’t the quickest to come out, so we were in that position for a while. When I finally finished mommy took the bottle out of my mouth and set it on the coffee table (milk table?).
“Was it good baby?” She asked. Her voice was soft and quiet, and full of love. To me it was angelic.
“Uh hu!” I said, snuggling into mommy more. We sat there in silence until mommy put her hand on my clearly exposed diaper.
“Feels like someone needs a diapy change!” She said. Looks like I was about to see if she really was going to change my used diapers like she said yesterday.
Glad your enjoying it! I’ve been negletcing to update the story but I should be back in action now!
Chapter 4
Having just pronounced me wet and in need of a change, I moved off of mommy so she could get up. Before I got off the couch, she reached her arms out, gesturing that she wanted to pick me up. Was she even able to do that? I got on my knees and leaned my body into hers, her arms under my armpits and my arms around her neck. To my astonishment, she pulled me off the couch and settled me around her hip. I knew I was small for my age, but I never realized I was this small! Or maybe she was just that strong? She was a lot more active than me…
As she began to walk to the stairs I rested my head on her shoulder, my legs wrapping around her. I had never felt so secure in my adult life. I closed my eyes as I felt the two of us going up the stairs.
“Alright, let’s get you into a fresh diapy peepee princess.” The nickname made me giggle as I clung to mommy. “Oh, you like that?” Mommy asked. “My little peepee princess!” With that mommy sat me on the floor. I opened my eyes to see we were in my room. She opened my closet to pull out the bags from yesterday. She reached into one and pulled out a diaper identical to the one I was wearing, except for the color of the wetness indicator of course. She reached into another bag and pulled out a changing mat which she laid down on the floor. The changing mat was pink with white polka dots. She motioned for me to lay down on it, which I did. The changing mat was soft, compressing a little with the addition of my body weight. She also grabbed the powder and lotion that I had used when diapering myself yesterday. There was a ripping sound as she pulled off the tapes of my diaper, the front falling as the second tape was undone. She took the diaper and balled it up.
“Mommy should have bought you a diaper pail.” she said. “After all you are going to be having a lot of accidents aren’t you?” As she said this she began to tickle me, making me laugh loudly. She had known I was ticklish since childhood, something she had never been afraid to use against me. Mommy then took the second diaper and unfolded it, lifting my legs up so she could slide it under me. She then squirted some lotion in her hand, rubbing her hands together after, Having the lotion applied by someone else was a completely different experience. It wasn’t too cold, thanks to Mommy rubbing her hands, but it was still cool to the touch as she rubbed it into me. Mommy rubbing it into my inner thighs was weird at first, but the weirdness quickly subsided. After the lotion came the powder, which she sprinkled liberally around my diaper area. I wondered if that much was really necessary, given it was about twice as much as I had put. But then there was the smell. Maybe it was because there was so much, but this time the smell seemed to overpower me, but in a good way. She then pulled the new diaper up and taped it nice and tight. “All done!” Mommy said.
Now that I was in a fresh diaper I began to get up, though getting up for me of course now meant onto my hands and knees. Mommy gave my behind a soft smack, causing there to be a puff of baby powder from my diaper. This gave the two of us a good laugh.
“Now can mommy trust you to be good in here while I go throw your diaper away and take care of some adult stuff?” Mommy asked. I nodded, to which she smiled and left my room. I crawled over to my PJs from yesterday where my phone was and opened my discord.
LilLilly: Guess what guess what guess what?
BestCG: What’s up?
LilLilly: I got a mommy!
BestCG: Aww, someone to change your piddled pampers?
This wasn’t the first diaper joke BestCG had made of course, but it hit different now that it was true.
LilLilly: Yeah…she just did actually 0//0
BestCG: Aww! Who is it?
LilLilly: My roomie!
BestCG: The one you’ve told me about who you’ve been friends with for like…forever?
LilLilly: Uh hu!
BestCG: That! Is! Adorable!
LilLilly: ^-^
I knew BestCG didn’t have a little, and I knew she had been wanting one since we had met. I wondered how she felt reading me getting a caregiver. We had actually discussed the possibility of being an MDLG pair before but neither of us wanted an LDR. Plus I didn’t even know her real name or what she looked like, for all I knew she could be some dude living in Japan halfway across the globe from me. Before I could get another message Mommy walked in.
“What’chu doing baby girl?” She asked. I held up my phone. I don’t know why I had gotten so non-verbal lately, was this apart of my little space?
“Ooh, who you talking to?” She asked, getting on her knees so she could be at a conversational level with me. I didn’t know how, but even her posture now screamed: I’m the adult, you aren’t.
“BestCG, the one who you saw me talking to earlier.” I said. I wished I had an actual name to call her, saying her username outloud just felt off.
“Oh! Fun!” She said, her voice sounding like she was talking to a toddler. “What are you two talking about?”
“You,” I said. Mommy blushed at this, which was adorable. I crawled up to her and hugged her, just wanting to be in physical contact with her all of the sudden. She hugged me back. She gave me a small kiss on the top of my head and I just utterly melted into her, physically and mentally. My head was devoid of thought and in its place was a warmth, a warmth I never wanted to go away. I looked up at her, and I began to feel parallel emotions. One portion of me saw Mommy, who was here to care for me and protect me. I felt safe with her. Another part of me saw my childhood best friend (sorry Hermione, you’re a close number 2) and I found the fact that I was practically in her lap in a diaper hilarious, though I didn’t laugh. That would have spoiled the mood. I saw my journey with her that led up to this point, the good and the bad. All the sleepovers, consoling her through breakups, getting accepted to the same college, moving in together, the fear of her knowing I’m ABDL and the happiness for when she showed that she liked this part of me as much as all the others. Those two made sense, but then there was the third one. In the third line of emotion there were no diapers. There was no past or future, in fact most of the present didn’t exist either. All there was were her and me, Katie and Lilly. All this part of me knew was that I never wanted this moment to end. That I was staring up at the most beautiful women in the world.
Chapter 5
If our embrace was a second or a century I had no idea, in my mind it was both eternal and was over in an instant. The swirl of emotions in my head, however, were there to stay. Even if some of the emotions were confusing, that’s how I wanted it to stay. This is how I wanted us to stay. I heard BestCG send me messages over discord at some point during our embrace but I didn’t care, she could wait. Mommy was who was important right now. Ever since yesterday Mommy looked…different. Not physically obviously, but she carried herself differently. She had a new glow about her. I wonder if the same could be said for me, if Mommy had noticed anything different about me. Besides the additional padding that is. Speaking of my padding…
“Thanks,” I said, a light blush creeping across my face. Mommy looked at me confused,
“Thanks for what?” She asked. My blush only grew.
“For, you know, changing me.” I said awkwardly. A smile broke out on mommy’s face when she realized what exactly I was talking about.
“I’m sorry baby, Mommy doesn’t understand. You’ll have to use your big girl words.” Now my face was on fire. She was really going to make me say it?
“Thank you for changing my diaper mommy.” I said, my voice barely over a whisper. This seemed to satisfy her.
“No worries baby, I wouldn’t want you getting a diapy rash after all.” The grin had not left her face, and I could feel my own face beginning to match. Even if it was humiliating it was still pushing all the right buttons. Mommy pat my head before standing up and walking toward my desk. She looked at the papers on my desk, aka the book I was working on yesterday.
“I see you got some writing done.” She said. I nodded, proudly, causing her to smile. “Did you write out any of your homework while you were at it?” I froze for a second. She had never asked me if I had gotten my homework done before, so I wasn’t expecting it. I shook my head.
“You need to do that baby.” She said. It didn’t sound like a suggestion. It probably didn’t help that she knew I’ve joked about missing assignments all semester.
“Why?” I whined. I was once again surprised, this time by my own whininess. I knew why I just hadn’t cared all semester.
“Because if you don’t you’ll fail your classes.” She said sternly. I knew on a logical level what she was saying was right, but some fog stopped the logical side of my brain from having any control.
“And? Almost none of them contribute to my major anyways.” I complained. This is something that always bugged me. I’m an english major. Why I was taking maths and sciences I had no idea. Just a big waste of money if you ask me. Mommy just sighed and shook her head.
“You won’t finish your major if you don’t finish your gen ed! This is what you get for trying to not take any your first couple of years by just not signing up for them. Did you think they would let you just skip them?” She asked. For the record, no I didn’t think they would let me skip taking my gen ed classes. I was hoping they would forget I hadn’t taken them.
“Here,” mommy said. “Let’s do your biology homework together. Some of it has to overlap with my neurobiology classes anyways.” She said. It sounded agreeable to me. Mommy left the room for a few minutes and brought in another chair, presumably from her room. She set it next to my desk as I finally got around to actually grabbing my bio papers, making sure to carefully make room for them by moving my manuscript in a way where I knew the pages wouldn’t get messed up. First I let mommy scan the papers. They were on the eleven body systems. We started with the nervous system, since mommy could basically do them blind folded at this introductory level. Then we went on to the systems that she learned about in conjunction to her neuro studies, such as the endocrine system. When we got to the parts of the body where she had completely forgotten about because they weren’t relevant to her, like the skeletal system, she would help me look through my textbook. While homework wasn’t something I enjoyed ever, it was suddenly a whole lot better with her helping me; both because it was less stressful and because it was fun being with her. When we finished the last question we stared at each other for a few moments. I couldn’t read her eyes at all, and I wondered if she could read mine.
“You know,” I began “I can see why you chose neurobiology. Of all of that it was probably the only part that didn’t make me want to fall asleep.” I knew I still needed another science class worth of credit after intro to bio, maybe it wouldn’t be bad taking a neuro class. Plus then mommy could help me. It was worth a thought.
“I’m glad you thought so.” She said. “And if so many things are making you want to fall asleep, maybe the baby needs to be put down for a nap?” We both laughed at this, though mine had a bit of nervousness to it. I didn’t want to actually be told to take a nap.
“Now, you finish the rest of your homework while I go make some grub.” She said. Maybe a nap wouldn’t be so bad after all. As mommy got up and left I put my bio homework away so I could pull out my math homework. Oh math, how I hate you. I probably don’t need to say that I was an english kid in high school, not a math one. There was no room for, well, anything in math. In english it was never about doing things right it was about doing things well. You could have completely valid opinions on the subject that were the polar opposite of your teacher. English classes were freeing. Math was the opposite of all of that. Sure you might have different methods to solve a problem but at the end of the day you’re right or you’re wrong. No arguing, no alternate interpretation, no individuality. Luckily for me though, past me had already done most of the work for the assignment in class. It still took me until dinner to finish the rest. I had only a few seconds to breath before I heard my name being called, I walked out of my room before remembering my rules. I got on my knees and crawled over to the staircase and then stopped. I hadn’t thought of getting down the stairs. Lucky for me, mommy saw me and came to pick me up, carrying me downstairs. Crisis aborted. For now.
Mommy set me down at the dining room table. I saw that she had made Shepherd’s Pie, one of my childhood favorites. I didn’t have a fork though. Instead, mommy had two. She grabbed the bib from this morning off the table and tied it around me. She then picked up one of her forks and began to feed me. She was no less messy with this then she was the oatmeal, mashed potatoes, cheeze, and sauce all ending up on my bib and face. The only things not on my bib were the peas, and that’s only because they rolled off the bib. When she was done feeding me, mommy began to eat her own meal, leaving me in my messy state. Every so often she would look at me and giggle, no doubt at how childish I looked.
When she finished eating, she got up and walked to the kitchen, grabbing a paper towel and wetting it, before coming back and wiping me off. She then threw away the paper towel before coming back to sit down, a more serious look on her face.
“We need to talk,” she said, four words that sent a shiver down my spine. I thought everything had been going well, but in an instant I questioned over twenty years worth of decisions. “I know that some dl’s, which I am assuming you are by the diaper around your waist and the one in the trash, like to wear 24/7. What is your plan on that?” She asked. Oh. I hadn’t even thought of that. In my mind there were two options, the option that was smart and the one that I wanted. I knew we had the money via the rules of wish fulfillment stories, but that wasn’t my issue.
“What about you?” I asked, not wanting to commit either way yet. She took a second to think.
“I think it’s a you decision. I’ll support you either way, though you’ll have to change yourself while I’m not around.” She said. I was both frustrated and relieved at her answer. It was frustrating to not be pushed one way or the other, thus eliminating the choice from my mind but also it is always nice to hear a general I’ll support you in any context. My logic and my desires battled in my head, but that fight almost always went one way. This time was no exception.
“I’ll try,” I said, my voice sounding more confident then I actually was. Mommy smiled at me. I wondered if she was expecting this decision.
“Well then, with your homework done,” I decided not to mention the history homework “and your- ahem- wardrobe for tomorrow decided on, I guess we have the rest of tonight.” She began to stand up and stretch. “How about a movie?” She asked. I nodded my head yes, and so we made our way over to the couch. Mommy grabbed the remote and opened youtube. Looking me dead in the eyes she put on a mickey mouse movie, that weird one where the clubhouse broke into its body parts. It almost felt like a challenge. Tell me if you’re an adult and we’ll watch something adult, But you won’t. I failed the imaginary challenge. And so I was engrossed in the brightly colorful world of a mickey mouse movie.
It wasn’t long into the movie before I felt my tummy growl, and not from hunger. I glanced up at mommy, but she didn’t seem to notice. My instinct was to hold it, but I knew I had to go eventually. And less than an hour ago I had condemned myself to wear diapers 24/7 so I wasn’t getting out of this. Not that all of me wanted to. I tightened my grip on mommy.
“Everything alright?” She asked. I shook my head and buried my face into her. It took me a few seconds to be able to speak.
“I need to go.” I said, hopping she would understand my predicament. She began to stroke my hair, which helped calm me down a little but not completely.
“Good thing you’re wearing a potty.” She said, furthering my feeling of hopelessness. I hate that I loved that feeling.
“It isn’t, uh, the same as this morning.” I said. I heard a noise of realization from mommy.
“Well then,” She said. “You better go now while I’m still up to change you.” Two thoughts came to my head; the first being an amazement that she would change me even after doing…that. The second being fear of the implication that she would make me wait a night in a…a…I had trouble even thinking the words without embarrassment. I took a deep breath. It was best to go now.
I began to push, but nothing happened at first. I had to override the mental alarms that had built up from over a decade of potty training. Eventually though, I felt a mush begin to fill the backside of my diaper. I couldn’t believe it. I had just pooped myself. My face felt like it was burning I was so embarrassed. I heard mommy sniff and I knew that she knew. I expected her to say she was going to change me-or back out and tell me to go change myself-as soon as I had went, but instead she was completely silent. So I was forced by my rules to just lay there in my messy diaper and watch the movie. Or try to watch the movie anyways. In reality I was much more focused on my bum. I could feel the warm mush in my diaper and knew I should hate it but I didn’t. It made me feel tiny. I had messed myself like some helpless baby.
“Someone’s a stinky baby!” Mommy declared when the movie finally finished. “Let’s go get you changed and in bed!” With that she carried me up to my room and sat me down on my changing mat. There was an audible squelch from my diaper as she did so. I layed down, and mommy changed me. She then went to go wash her hands. She then plopped my paci in my mouth.
“Now, it’s time for you to get to bed!” She said. I was surprised by how tired I was, and so I didn’t complain, though I hoped early bedtimes weren’t going to become my new norm. I was a night owl after all. Itv wasn’t long after I was in bed that I fell asleep.
Chapter 6
My alarm began to blare, piercing through a now forgotten dream. I layed there, knowing I had something to be nervous about but unable to remember what it was that was supposed to be making me nervous. It wasn’t until I moved a little and heard crinkling beneath my sheets that I remembered. I was wearing a diaper, and I had just yesterday condemned myself to wear them even when I went to my college classes today. A few minutes later I heard mommy coming into my room.
“Get up, baby.” She said. “And uhh, the whole crawling only thing doesn’t apply when getting ready for school. We don’t want you to be late over something like that.”
“O’ay” I said. It was only then I realized I still had the paci in my mouth. Hearing me, mommy came and plucked the paci out of my mouth, a slight pop sound filling the air briefly.
As I got up, mommy put her hand on my diaper, and declared me dry. Somehow passing a diaper check was just as embarrassing as failing one, just being reminded that I needed to be checked in the first place.
“After we get into a new routine, if you want, I can start being more of a mommy in the mornings too, but for now let’s start off slow.” She said, “I don’t think you want to explain that you were late because you needed a diaper change or because your mommy couldn’t decide how to dress you.” With that, she left to go get ready herself. She was right, that was the last thing I wanted to explain. I was the only one of the two of us who actually had to worry about that though. She had scheduled her classes later so she could work out in the mornings.
I felt nervousness bubble inside me as I thought more and more of what today would look like, or at least what it could look like. There were a million ways for this to go so utterly wrong. I threw on my usual pair of a shirt and jeans. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and made my way down stairs. Using the keurig I made myself a cup of coffee, and it tasted even better after having been denied it yesterday. As I sipped the nectar of the gods I began to make myself some toast.
Mommy came down not longer after, and I heard a stifled laugh. Definitely not the confidence boost I needed this morning. I glared at her, and saw she was trying her damnedest best to keep a straight face, something she was never good at. Straight wasn’t exactly her forte.
“Something up?” I asked. I jumped a little as my toast popped out then promptly tried to ignore the fact that I had been scared by my breakfast. I grabbed a plate from the cabinet above and started to grab the toast.
“You sure about those jeans?” She asked, grabbing the jelly out of the fridge, knowing the only proper way to eat toast was with jelly.
“What’s wrong with my jeans? Is there a hole in them?” I asked, taking the jelly from her.
“Not yet, but with that diaper bulge there might be soon.” I gasped slightly, my eyes widening. Apparently that was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and mommy burst out in laughter.
“Not funny.” I said, setting my knife down. Why had I not thought about that?! I knew I was slow to wake up, but damn. I started running down a list of bottoms I had that wouldn’t bulge.
“Actually, it’s extremely funny.” Mommy said. “You might want to try a skirt, I’ve heard that they help more.” I nodded, I didn’t really care what I wore so long as there wasn’t a bulge.
I wolfed down my toast, and rushed back upstairs. Off came the jeans and I began to look through my skirts. I didn’t wear them very often, not for any particular reason though. I was far from a tomboy. I just saw my jeans first thing in the mornings. Eventually I settled on a semi nice black skirt that went down to my knees. I made my way back downstairs and saw mommy eating her own breakfast.
“How’s this?” I asked. I turned around so she could see me from behind as well. I felt the skirt swish across my legs, and wondered if that showed anything off.
“Looks perfect.” Mommy said between bites. “You almost look like a big girl even.” She grinned at me.
“Almost?” I asked, my voice sounding as nervous as I felt. I was wondering if I had made a mistake, if I should just call the whole thing off and go change into some regular underwear.
“I’m just messing with you.” Mommy said. “I know that you’re wearing a diaper and even I can’t see it.” She said. I breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly mommy grinned again. “In fact…” Before I could react, she stood up and put her hand up my skirt, checking my diaper.
“Hey!” I exclaimed, my face bright red. Surely she didn’t actually need to check me that time! It’s not like I actually needed diapers.
“What, I need to make sure you’re dry before we head out.” She was grinning from ear to ear, and I was doing the same. “Now, let’s get going diaper butt.” Not having a good retort, I nodded and we made our ways towards mommy’s car. She always drove us to campus, we had scheduled our classes on the same day to save on gas. She went to the school’s gym to workout, I went to class. Today’s first class would be French, one of the classes I enjoyed more. On the way there we blasted some Taylor Swift, singing along with the song. A certain someone was really off key, but I won’t name names. We got to the school and said our ‘see ya laters’ and went our separate ways. I made my way to my class, the crinkling of my diaper sounding like thunder to me. I got to the class and took a deep breath before walking in, today was going to be interesting one way or another.
Chapter 7
I walked into my French class and nobody started to stare at me suddenly, so that was good. I didn’t know how nobody seemed to hear the crinkling sounds as I walked, but I wasn’t about to go asking people about it. Per usual the teacher wasn’t here yet so everyone was just vibing.
“Ça va Lilly?” I heard someone ask from behind me, causing me to jump. I turned around to see a guy named Jaxon. He was built like a quarterback, though he wasn’t on any sports teams as far as I was aware. His dark skin was enviably smooth, I sometimes wondered if I should ask him about his skincare routine.
“I’m fine Jaxon, how are you?” I asked. It was too early in the morning to force myself to talk in french, even though I knew the proper responses. I knew my le from my la.
“En français.” He said, he was a total fanatic for this stuff. I’m pretty sure he was actually a French major.
“Madame Dupont isn’t here yet, neither is my french.” I said, sitting down at my desk. Jaxon shrugged me off and took his seat next to me. The two of us weren’t exactly friends, but we weren’t on bad terms either. He could be a bit of a teacher’s pet, but he was alright.
A few minutes later Madame Dupont walked in, coffee in hand, She was an elderly woman who I’m pretty sure had seen the formation of France itself.
“And how are we all doing today?” She asked, her accent thick. “We all studied for today’s exam, no?” I groaned inwardly. I forgot that we had a test today. Papers were handed out for the written portion, though everyone knew that the written portion was the easy half.
Tests were the only time this class was quiet, and today was no exception. I could only hear two things; pencils on paper and the crinkling of my diaper every time I moved. I was careful to sit properly, not wanting to risk showing anything off. Concentrating on my test was harder than usual with the nervousness I was feeling but I soldiered on.
Eventually I finished the written portion of the test, and so I sat there and waited for the real test to begin; the listening portion.
“Alright, I think we are all ready to move on.” Madame Dupont said. “Pay close attention.” I held my pencil at the ready, knowing that if I took too long to transcribe what she was saying I would lose it.
“Je suis ravie d’être au restaurant avec mes parents.” The teacher said, those cursed Rs making my tongue confused just hearing them. Thank gosh we didn’t have a speaking portion today.
“C’est l’anniversaire de mon père aujourd’hui.” She said, just as I was finished writing my answer to the last one.
“Mes parents aiment le film.” She said, forcing me to pick up the pace with my writing. This went on a little longer, and while I probably didn’t get a 100, I at least had an answer to every question. Not everyone was so lucky. As we got up to turn our paper in I could have sworn that Jaxon was staring at me, but I decided to assume I was just being paranoid. Oh please let me just be being paranoid.
“You all know the rules, test days are short days here.” Madame Dupont announced after she had received everyone’s test. I went to grab my bag, and freaked out when it wasn’t there. After a second I realized I must have forgotten it. Shit, now I wouldn’t have my book for history. Maybe Carly would let me pair up with her. Thank gosh this skirt has pockets or I would need to carry my phone all day. Speaking of my phone…
Lilly: Just got out of french
I made sure to think of her with her actual name since I was out in the real world adulting. I didn’t usually text her when I got out of class, but I really wanted to take my mind off things. I had some time to kill, so I walked around campus aimlessly. You would think I would have found some spot to go to for days like this at this point, but nope. I felt a buzz in my skirt pocket and grabbed my phone thinking it was Katie.
BestCG: So how are things with your new mommy?
I realized I had completely ignored her last message and felt a little guilty. I looked around, suddenly paranoid someone would be looking over my shoulder. No one was in sight.
LilLilly: Well…I decided to give 24/7 a try.
My heart was pounding as I sent the second message. Acknowledging my padding in any way while in public was giving me an adrenaline rush. I felt over exposed.
BestCG: Wow you have the impulse control of an actual baby. Just jumping right into the deep end like that?
My face flushed red. She was spot on, of course. I was probably going into this way too quickly but damn if I didn’t want to. I decided to encapsulate all of that by sending a blush emoji. I talked to BestCG to pass the time until eventually I was ready to head to lunch. I walked across the street from my campus to the most upscale of restaurants; McDonalds.
Already sitting at a table was my friend Carly, messing around on her phone, her long midnight black hair done in a ponytail. She waved me down as I came in.
“Hey!” She said. “That skirt is super cute on you.” I thanked her and returned a similar compliment on her jeans.
“By the way, I totally blanked and forgot my stuff at home. You mind paying today?” I asked. I felt bad, but it was that or no food at all.
“Sure, but you’re getting something off the dollar menu in case you forget to pay me back.” She teased.
“You know I’m good for it!” I defended. “I’ll get it to you first chance I get.” It was true, she knew I didn’t forget to pay people back.
“Yeah yeah, just tell me what you want.” Not too long after that and I was chowing into a deliciously cheap burger and a small diet (aka true) coke.
“So how was your weekend?” Carly asked. I blushed and looked down at my burger, not like I could exactly talk about that.
“Oh, you know.” I said trying to sound casual. “Just hung out with Katie.” I wasn’t lying, that is in fact what I did. Yup, not leaving any important details out. Carly looked at me skeptically.
“Yeah I’m calling BS.” Carly said. “You’ve never blushed like that when talking about Katie before.” She said. Shit. A moment of silence passed. “Y’all hookup or something?” My face went bright red.
“What?!” I asked a little louder than I meant to. “It’s nothing like that!” Though now that I thought about it, what should I call Katie? I can’t go around calling her my mommy in public but friend doesn’t feel right either anymore. “We’re just roommates!” There was a snort from Carly.
“Oh my god, they were roommates!” She quoted, grinning. I knew there was nothing to say that could dig me out of this.
“Oh shut up.” I said, deciding to just put an end to it. “How about you?” I bit into my burger.
“Nothing exciting, just working on projects really.” Carly was an art major, and would spend weeks on a single project sometimes. It was massively impressive, and it showed in her art. I swear she could paint or draw anything that exists and probably most things that didn’t.
“The river?” I asked. That was the last work in progress I had seen. It was a landscape focusing on, you guessed it, a river.
“Nah, finished that last Thursday.” She said, “Started drawing a character this time around. A girl from the 1700s.” It blew my mind how wide of a range Carly had.
“How do you jump from a landscape painting to a character who doesn’t exist from a time period you never lived in?” I asked. She thought about my question for a moment.
“Well, the best way I can describe it is like this, think about your writing,” she said “You focus on writing in one genre right? But it’s not like the skills wouldn’t carry over at least a little to a different one. Sure as a fantasy writer you may not know the ins and outs of the mystery genre but you’re still a writer.” I guessed it made some sense, though I felt like Carly was majorly selling herself short.
Soon our lunch came to an end, and it was time for us to go to class. The same class actually, we both had a medieval history class together.
We got to our class and the teacher was already there, though I was convinced that Mr. Bakerson lived in his classroom. Yeah yeah, call me childish but I swear the man never left the room. He was a handsome man, his brown hair combed seemingly very carefully. Of all my teachers he got 1st place for his classroom decorations, he had a suit of armor on display and everything, as well as some crossed swords on a shield on his wall. I doubted they were real of course, having real swords in a classroom was a lawsuit waiting to happen, but they look cool as hell.
“Mr. Bakerson, I forgot my book at home. Can I share with Carly?” I asked as I walked in.
“No need, today is a pure lecture day.” He said. With those words I, as well as everyone in the class I’m assuming, died a little on the inside. ‘Great’ I thought as I took my seat. Mr. Bakerson was a good lecturer, but there was only so much someone can do to make this stuff interesting.
As Mr. Bakerson was lecturing I felt a pressure in my bladder. That diet coke and coffee combo was coming back to haunt me. I felt a panic as I tried to decide what to do. I could probably use the restroom and Katie would never know, but I was the one who wanted this in the first place. I sighed inwardly. What was the worst that could happen?
It took me a moment to override my potty training, but eventually my diaper became warm and expanded around me as a slight hissing sound could be heard if you were paying attention. I was wetting my diaper. In public.
It was that moment that it struck me; I forgot my bag. I didn’t have any spare diapers. So I had no choice but to sit there in my wet diaper as my teacher went on about medieval Europe. There was a squish with every movement and, despite the humiliation, I loved the feeling. I felt so little, so helpless. Hell maybe the humiliation even added to it. I didn’t know. This was all so new to me.
By the time the teacher was passing out papers my diaper had cooled considerably, which was the weirdest way I had ever kept track of time.
“Psst” Carly whispered next to me. “Did you hear that?” She asked. There was only one thing I could think she was referring to, so I played dumb.
“I dunno what you mean.” I lied. “I haven’t heard anything but Mr. Bakerson talking.” Carly looked at me for a second longer than I was comfortable with, then shrugged it off. I didn’t wait around long as I left the class. Luckily I only had two classes a day, because I was more than ready to get home.