Lee H How I Got Into Diapers

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It all started when I was a little baby and I had a lot of health problems including a heart murmur, a blood clot on the brain, and undeveloped bowels, Plus a lot more. When I was two I was sexually molested by the baby sitter, and I didn't learn to walk until the age of three. I don't know when I was potty trained.When I was growing up when I was out of diapers, My grandparents kept telling me that they were going to buy me some diapers, a bottle, a pacifier, and a bib because I kept having accidents. They told me that if I was going to act like a baby, Then I would be treated like a baby.When I turned eight years old I started having feelings towards diapers, it's like that my brain was telling me that I needed them, I didn't think nothing of it until about three months later when I walked down the adult diaper aisle and my want for them became too much for me to handle. I went to the drug store and stole some Depends and took the to the bathroom and put it on. at this time I was still having accidents and my mother got sick of it and took me to the doctors. The doctor to my mother that I needed to try the kegal exercise. When I did the exercise it made my problems a lot worse, so I stopped doing the exercise.When I turned ten years old my mother took me back to the doctor because I was still having accidents and the doctor told her to put me back into diapers, but I really didn't think she wanted to because she never did and that made me think that it gave me the right to steal them, because my doctor told me that I needed them. When I turned twelve I was molested again, by this time I was molested by eight males, and one female. By this time I was wearing diapers for four years without nobody knowing, and I started stealing money to buy them and I started to wear them all the time, even when I went outside. For a while I felt uncomfortable wearing them outside.When I was sixteen my brother was snooping in my room and found the Depends that I bought the day before at Fred Myers, Then he started searching the house and found some more depends and took them up stairs and dumped them in the front room in front of my step-father, my mother, and my friend that I had a crush on. When my mother asked me why I had them, I told her that they weren't mine, and she asked who's are they then. I told her that they were Ken's and she told me to stop lying. then I told her that I liked them and I was going to stop wearing them and my mother asked me why I wearing them, and I told her that I liked them and I like the feel of them.When I turned eighteen I was locked up for breaking the law, and I was told that I need to not wear diapers, because it causes people to get into trouble with the law. I never did listen, because I knew deep down inside that I needed them. While I was locked up there was a person that wore diapers, and I used to steal them and wear them, because my need/want for them. When I got out of lockup in may 2002 on my 21st birthday I went to the store and bought some depends and put one on and it made me feel safe, because from the age of two until I was seventeen I was molested by nine males, and one female. So I used the diapers to make me feel safe, and comfortable again around males, because I've been hurt by them. I started doing research on the Internet and came across AB/DL (Adult Babies/Diaper Lovers) and I read about it and I noticed that I was one of them. About a year an a half ago I noticed that I started having a bed wetting problem, and then I started having daytime wetting accidents about six months after. I went to a Urologist to find out what was going on with me, and he told that I'm dealing with something called Incontinence. They still don't know what is going on with me, and they need to do more test.I have been wearing diapers on and off since the age of eight and now at the age of 23 I wear them 24/7 so in case I have an accident I don't need to change my clothes.This is in fact a true story that happened to me in 1957. It was many years ago and I dwell from time to time in the cherished memories.When I was 11 years old I had my first real yearning to start wearing diapers. It seems that my baby sister's supply of Curity diapers was just inviting me to try one. So one night I took one and put it and went to bed. It was wonderful and the soft cloth against me made me feel so good. It too was the first sensual encounter that I remember. I had my own room and was very careful not to get caught. Each morning before I got out of bed I would take it off and hide it under my bed. (Really in the slats holding up the mattress). I was terrified of my parents catching me. At the time we had a German woman, 24 years old or so, working as a nanny. Her name was Herta and as I recall she was real good looking, so much so that my Dad was constantly chasing the neighborhood boys away from our swimming pool when she was there. She too had no clue what I was up to with my diaper fetish. My room afforded me a lot of privacy and I was to become somewhat careless as it turned out.Each night when I went to bed I would not as a rule lock the door and that never turned out to be a problem. Until one summer night I went to bed with only my diaper tightly pinned around me. I always pulled the covers over me incase someone did come in unexpected. This night it was warm in my room and I must have pushed the sheet back off me while I was sleeping. Well, as luck would have it I over slept the next morning and Herta came to my room to wake me up. She knocked and at the same time opened the door to find me startled in a diaper."My goodness, what are you doing?" she said as I grabbed the covers. I turned beet red and told her to get out of my room. As she turned to leave she muttered something about telling my parents. Then I freaked. "No, No " I said, and she came back in and closed the door. She smiled and asked me to push the covers back and show her my little diapers. Oh god was I embarrassed. I said, "no way", and all of a sudden she laughed and pulled the covers off me leaving me sitting in the bed."Oh, that's a nice sight," she said. "Why do you still wear diapers?" she asked.I said I liked them and didn't really need to wear them because I wet the bed or anything like that. She just smiled and said my secret was safe with her but I really needed to act like a big boy and diapers were not normal for an 11 year old. I said OK, but she then added that I had to learn a lesson about trying to do it again. With that she took my hand and lead me to the bathroom."What are you doing?" I asked. She told me to be quiet and turned on the bath water."Now, young man, I understand you're wanting to be a 'baby' again, and if that's the case, let me give you a bath.""NO!" I ran to the door but she had locked it and she grabbed my hand pushed me on the floor. She then told me to comply or my parents would find out. All I could do was lay down as she proceeded to unpin my diaper."Well, well, what do we have here " she said as she lifted my legs and pulled the diaper off. "You don't look like a 2 year old boy, do you? Now stand up and get into the tub."She took the soap and lathered me up all over, gently washing me. When she got my crotch area she handed me the wash cloth and told me to make sure it was particularly clean even though I didn't use the diapers. I was glad she didn't wash me because I know I would become hard for sure. During all this I was too ashamed to become aroused. Then she finished and told me to stand up and get of the tub as she took a towel and dried me off."Now, wasn't that fun?" she asked and I just asked her to leave so I could get dressed."Not so fast, young man, let's go in your room and see what we are wearing today." As I walked out she said "left" and told me to wait for her on the bed. She came right back and I could see the diaper behind her back."Now, is it big boy underpants and diapers for you?""Underpants," I said."No, I don't believe you, so let's get you in diapers today and it will be our secret, and it will serve to remind you not to wear them again!""Oh, NO!" I said. "Someone will notice.""No they won't. You will wear sweat pants over them.""OK, OK," I said. "Just leave so I can put it on.""Not so fast," she said. "That's not part of the lesson."I lay back on the bed as took my towel away. Now I was really getting apprehensive about this and she knew it."Just relax," she told me, "because I am going to diaper you,"She lifted my legs and slid the diaper under me and pushed my legs apart."How about some nice baby oil for you this morning?" she said as she poured some into her hands. Then she rubbed some between my legs and under my butt. That did it I started to get aroused and she just winked at me (I know she had to have seen the earlier sticky spot on the diaper she caught me in)."I see the young man is liking his diaper change. We better get things pinned up."With that she used some powder and pinned the sides tightly."You look so cute. Let's finish getting dressed and you can eat and go play outside."What a day that was as I was hiding from everyone and Herta was teasing me in private. Our deal was that night she would let me back in my underwear. When I went to bed that evening she knocked on the door and came in and made me let her see me in the diapers. She then put her fingers inside to see if I was telling the truth about not wetting and making sure they were dry."Good boy," she said. I was kind of really hoping that she might again make me let her diaper me and was semi hard as she checked me. I guess that was a mistake because she handed me a pair of my underpants and told me to go into the bathroom and change into them and bring her the diaper back. Even though I was relieved the lesson was over. I always remember her gentle approach and non threatening ways. Obviously she recognized my earliest sexual feelings and didn't want to force the issue. She stayed with my family for another six months and I dared not to tempt fate again while she was still there. When she did leave I started back for a while but "grew" out of it until 5 years ago when I discovered the internet and the diaper sites for adults.Summary: Some fond memories of nappy/diaper wearing as a child.When I was as young as I can remember, probably only 3 years old, I spent every day being babysat by my aunt. My dad would drop me off on his way to work and I'd play with my 4-year-old cousin. We were the closest of friends. We'd play in the yard and watch TV. After lunch we would have to have an afternoon sleep for a couple of hours. Then my dad would come and pick me up after work and take me home.I was pretty much toilet trained by this stage, but still wet the bed regularly. I don't remember my parents ever changing my nappy, although they must have. But I do remember fondly the daily routine of my aunt putting a thick cloth nappy and plastic pants on me before my sleep time. My cousin, who would sleep in the bed next to me, usually only wore his jockey Y-fronts and a singled to bed. He would smile and laugh each day when I was getting changed. I never minded, as I used to find it pleasurable. It was better than the hassles of waking up in wet sheets.Of course, occasionally he would wet the bed and then for the next few days my aunt would also put nappies on him before sleep time. I would lie there in my snug cloth nappy and just smile as he would protest the whole time.As we got older, he went off to kindergarten, but my aunt continued to look after me. The same routine each afternoon continued till I was 5 and was ready for school. Whenever I stayed the night at my cousins, if my parents were out of town, I would have a double thick nappy put on before bedtime. And much to my delight, so was my cousin - in fact we were both nighttime nappy wearers until we were 5 or 6. After that, it was usually plastic pants over our Y-fronts. This went on till I was nearly 8 years old. I had a drawer full of clear or white plastic pants in the same drawer as my pajamas. On the hottest nights, I wore just my briefs and plastic pants. Pull-ups were not available back in 1970 - at least my family never used them.I thought this was normal for boys my age - my friends would talk about wetting their beds, but I never did. I just wet inside my plastic pants.There were some occasions where one or both of us would be put in our plastic pants and briefs during the day as well. I think it was only if we'd wet ourselves and it was seen as some form of punishment. We'd wear them in the yard, with nothing else on, or out to the shops under our other cloths. It never worried me; I think I secretly enjoyed the lack of stress about having to hold on when there was no toilet. I remember a kid in my first grade class who wore plastic pants every day to school. Everyone else made fun of him. He was from a poor family and he was very scruffy, but I remember being very curious about him and I was secretly jealous. I hated having to ask to go to the toilet during class as the teacher always made such a fuss.But the highlight was still dropping my Y-fronts and lying on the bed and waiting for my lovely aunt to slide a triangular folded terry nappy under me, powder me in sweet smelling talc and pull the three points of the nappy up and fasten it with a single safety pin. She'd scrunch up the sides of the plastic pants and slip them over my feet. I'd them help pull them up and over the nappy. A kiss on the forehead and under the bedclothes I'd go.When we'd wake up, we'd normally walk into the bathroom and I'd take the pants and nappies off myself. We'd then take it in turns to pee in the toilet and get back into our briefs and clothes.Truly, it was the best of times.This story happened when I was 14.It started at the end of March when my mum and dad went on holiday for a month. I had a babysitter (kind of) who came at 5 cooked my meals then slept over and took me into school the next morning. This is my story of my fall into diapers, or nappies as I'm English.I had not met her until when she came over after school on the first day it was going fine. Just before I went to bed she asked me if I wet the bed and that if I did I was going to have to wear diapers while she was there as she did not want to change sheets late at night but she didn't mind changing diapers.I was in a dilemma. I'd wet the bed until I was 7 and since I'd stopped I'd wanted to wear diapers. I paused for what must have been 30 seconds. But I said no as she would probably talk to my mum.The first two weeks went on uneventful then it was the Thursday before I broke up for Easter holidays, which is like spring break. I got home at four and noticed that she'd left her bag of stuff, which she normally took to her other jobs that she had in the day babysitting preschool children. I looked inside the bag and noticed the diapers sticking out. Before I knew it I was diapered and walking round the house doing my normal stuff.Suddenly she walks in (she had a key) and finds me in the kitchen wearing a t-shirt and a diaper. I thought I was fucked. She just told me to go to my room and that I wasn't allowed to come out until tomorrow. The next morning she changed me I felt a pratt.That day was the last day of term in the holiday she was going to be at my house all day every day. I got home quite excited. As I walked in I went up to room to get pinned down by my babysitter and two other women that were probably parents of other children she babysat. They pulled down my trousers and put me in a diaper. They then put me in an all-in -one with a flap on the front. She said that for the half term I was going to be treating me like a baby.The new routine was wake up, get taken out of the crib which she'd found for me. I was only 4 foot and very skinny so she could lift me. Give me baby food and get changed and then pretty much do nothing until I went to bed at 6. One night she had to be somewhere so she rang for another babysitter. I said that normally if my parents were going I would stay on my own. But she something about that I was a baby now. Before she left she gave me some ice cream. I thought she was being nice. It tasted odd as I think it must of had a sleeping tablet in it she put me in my crib and before I knew it I was asleep. I woke up at 9 to find a girl from my class above me and loads of her friends above me. They laughed at me. That night was the worst. They tied me up, shaved my pubes took photos of me in the diaper and masturbated me. They gave me a drink, which sent me off to sleep. I woke up the next morning. The main babysitter (my daily one) woke me up and told me I was already dirty. This was bad as I had not tried. Over the next 3 or 4 days I lost control and was wetting and shitting without me trying. I was worried I had a week left to potty train myself. Also, the girls were coming over every night and doing an array of things to me such as using a strap on to do me up the arse. I managed to stop myself in the day but I wet the bed for a month or two afterwards, but I asked the babysitter for after she left. Sometimes when my parents went out the girls came over and as we got older they soon forgot about the diapers and I'm now going out with one. Now when they come over we do lots together. Know what I mean.I was potty trained at the age of 3 or 4, I can't remember exactly when, but around the age of 5, I had trouble controlling my bowel movements. My mom and dad tried so hard to potty train me but I guess I was too stubborn. So when I was 5 my mom bought me Pampers and I was in diapers until I turned 6. After that I had minor bowel accidents, but my parents never found out. I would wet the bed at least two or three times a month throughout my childhood. I would also think about wearing diapers off and on throughout my childhood as well.When I was 14 I had a good friend named Zack. He was I think ten or eleven years old last time I saw him. Anyway, it was his birthday on March 21st, 2000. I was invited to his party at Chuck E. Cheese's and we had a blast. After his party we went back to his house and I had to use the bathroom. A few weeks ago I heard rumors that Zack was a bedwetter and pants-wetter and he had to wear Dry-Nites to keep himself dry. I didn't know whether those rumors were true or not. I was in the bathroom taking a piss, and I started to think about those rumors I heard. I finished pissing in the toilet and I washed my hands. I looked under the sink in the cabinets and sure enough, there was a small box with the two words DRY-NITES printed in big lettering on the box with a picture of the diaper underneath it. I looked inside and there was one diaper left. I took it on instinct and shoved it in my pants. I got out of the bathroom and told Zack I'd go ask my mom if I could stay over for the night because he was having a slumber party. I left and I ran home. I asked my mom if I could stay over and she said yes. I went to the bathroom, and I quickly stripped my clothes off. I took the diaper, yanked it open and slid it over my genitals and around my waist. Of course it was too small and it nearly tore in half. I was disappointed. I didn't want my mom to find out so I quickly tore it into tiny little pieces and I threw all the pieces into the toilet and flushed it. I left my house with my overnight stuff and I told Zack that I liked to wear diapers and stuff, he didn't seem to care. He hated wetting the bed, though, and wearing those pull-up things.About two weeks later, I was browsing the internet to see if they had any larger size Dry Nites that would fit me. I searched for "Dry Nites" in yahoo and it came up with these other kind called Good Nites. I checked their website out, and to my surprise they had a size that would fit me.... XL Goodnites. I quickly logged off, and grabbed my wallet with twenty bucks and ran to the local drugstore where I used to live. I went inside the store, and looked around for the Goodnites. I went into the baby section, and sure enough, there they were, the XL Goodnites. I picked up a package, and I was sweating like a dog because I was both excited and very nervous. I went to the checkout with one package of 9 Goodnites and the clerk rang up my diapers without smiling or saying anything as if it was just a candy bar any other normal kid would buy. I handed her the 20 and she gave me my change, and I ran back home. Lucky for me, mom was in the kitchen so I was able to sneak into my room without her seeing me and the diapers. I closed my door, and I stripped off my clothes quickly. I tore open the package, and I took a diaper out. I examined it and smelled it. It smelled kind of nice. I slipped it over my waist and it fit perfectly. That one package of Goodnites lasted me a week. I didn't buy another package for another month or so.Then I got an idea. I started to wet my bed on purpose every night, because I figured it'd get my mom's attention and she'd buy me Goodnites. But she never found out, and I got fed up with having wet sheets and so one day, I washed my own sheets and stopped wetting the bed after two weeks of trying. My room had the faint smell of urine. My mom asked me why it smelled that way, and I told her I had a couple accidents, but she wasn't too worried after I told her I washed my own sheets.Knowing that wetting my bed on purpose didn't work I started to give up on the whole diaper thing. Until we moved to the countryside. That's when the diaper fetish really started to intensify. I didn't want to do the whole bedwetting thing all over again so I decided to write my mom a note telling her that I wet the bed even though I didn't really (This was after I turned 15). I wrote the note, and I left it on her desk one day before I left for school. That whole day I worried about what my mom was doing and thinking as I was waiting for the clock to strike 2 o clock pm so I can go home and face my mom's reaction in person. Finally after a long nervous day, I came home and went to my room. I saw my bed stripped except for a plastic sheet. I didn't see any Goodnites, I was disappointed. I went into the kitchen and I looked at my mom and she told me that she got my note. I said ok, and she said that she got me the Goodnites that I requested in the note. I was really surprised,!and she was very understanding and she asked me why I didn't tell her sooner. I told her that I was afraid of how she'd react. So from then on I was very happy. My mom bought me Goodnites three times until I noticed that they leaked big time. So I asked my mom to buy me these depend brief things, and she said ok. She bought me my first pack and at first I didn't like them because of the loud rustling sound, but after a week of wearing them, I started to like the rustling sound.It didn't take long for my dad to find out about me supposedly wetting the bed. But he never said anything directly to me about it until we moved to Alaska. After we moved to Alaska, my dad made me visit a psychiatrist after three doctor visits with tests. All the tests came back negative, and they obviously didn't find anything wrong with me, because in all truth, there was nothing wrong with me. All I wanted to do was wear diapers. I was 16 at the time of my doctor visits. The psychiatrist didn't help much, because there was nothing he could do really. So my parents were disappointed and my mom continued to buy me diapers.I am now 18 years old, and I still wear diapers, and my mom continues to buy the for me. Although I did give her another note telling her the truth about my diaper fetish. But I left out the part that I lied about wetting the bed. I told her that I didn't wet the bed much anymore, but I liked wearing diapers. After I gave her a copy of my research on Diaper Lovers and Teen and Adult Babies, she was quite understanding, and she said I could wear them as long as I threw away the dirty ones and everything. I don't wear every night though because sometimes I just don't feel like wearing. But right now I am wearing a blue attends diaper, and I am very happy to have such an understanding mother. Unfortunately none of my friends wear diapers for any reason, but I did manage to get my friend Nathan to wear diapers thanks to my bribery skills. I hope you enjoyed my story of how I got back into diapers, and I hope that all of you diaper lovers and teen babies have a happy and diapered! life.This is the story about how I start liking diapers. It all started when i was arround 6 I think. I was at my grandmother's, where I lived with my mum, because my parensts were separeted(no good English I know). I was playing with my cousin and by chance we found some daipers in a small room where were food and so on(I don't know the English word, but it's a small room, not the kitchen!).My cousin was the same age as me. We hadn't woren diapers for years and were very curious. So we took two diapers and went into the sleeping room. We put them on and liked then fealing. So we play a bit and then gave them back into the box. We often played such games and we even find babybottle to drink from. Some day my mum bougt her own flat, but on the weekends we were all having tee at my grandmother's. Some day the babybottles were gone. After a while we found the in the cellar. We played many games. One was, that one of us throws a choin into the air the the one who lost had to do what the other wanted him to. I liked these games very much, but after some time my cousin didn't want to. I was sad, but acceped it. Once when we were wearing diapers and we had drunken much water from the babybottles we had to pee.(At this age we often had to pee at the same time, don't know why).My cousin went to toilet, but I thought:"I'm wearing a diaper so why should I go to the toilet?". So I used the diaper, but hadn't thought of the result. I had got a wet diaper and my mom shouted that we would go home. I couldn't give the diaper back into the box, so my mum catched me. I can't exectly remember what happened, but I think she wasn't very angry. I think she thought I was only a kid and wanted to try it out. (Maybee somebody want's that the story goes on like:"So she put me back into diapers for the rest of the year" but that isn't the truth) So after a while, my grandmother threw away all baby-things(I think so, because I searched for them many times and couldn't find them) and we couldn't play anymore. My cousin also didn't wanted to play anymore. (What bad story) So years past until I was arround 14 and I sleeped at my father's, who was married with another women.I had got a halfbrother who is 5 years younger than me. I was in the cellar and had to go to the toilet, so I went into the toilet in the cellar(usually I use the one on the 1st floor) and I found a pack of old diapers. So in the night when everybody was sleeping in went into the cellar to get one. It was a very old pampers biggest size, put it doesn't fit, so i used adhesive tape to fix it. But I was afraid to take it home, because I thought my mother would find it in the siutcase. So a gave it back into the box. The next time when I visited my father I took 6 with me and hid them in my room at home. But they were gone very fast, so I went to the supermarket and bought my own. That wasn't easy for me because I'm living in a small town and I was very afraid that somebody could notice me. I brought them home and hid them.Once in a while I used one of them and now all are gone. Now I'm too afraid to go to the supermarked and these diapers also don't fit anymore. I've never taked to my cousin about this, because I was to afraid he wouldn't accept it. (bad end: no diapers at home and nobody to talk to)My mother had to go out of town for a funeral when I was 10 years old. I couldn't go and she was wondering what to do. I told her, "How about staying with Aunt Lucy?" Aunt Lucy wasn't my aunt; everyone just called her that in the neighborhood. Aunt Lucy was a widow who took care of her mentally retarded grandson sometimes, and loved to baby-sit kids of all ages, but really liked to take care of babies. She told my mom how she only had one child, a boy, in her life, and she still missed taking care of babies. Her grandson was a year older than me, but had the mental capacity of a two year old. She had to have all the things in her house to take care of him, large crib, large high chair, and diapers and plastic pants in his large size. No one knew it, but I would love to go over to her house when she had her grandson over so I could watch her diaper him and treat him like he was a baby. I wished I could have the same treatment myself, but was too ashamed to tell my Mom, or anyone else.My mom called Aunt Lucy and told her of her problem, and aunt Lucy said, "Please let him stay with me, I would love to take care of him for a few days!"The next day Mom took me over to aunt Lucy's with my clothes and said goodbye. Aunt Lucy put my clothes away in her grandson's bedroom, and I went with her. I was staring at the changing table and crib when Aunt Lucy said, "I guess I'll have to find another place for you to sleep tonight, honey; you probably don't want to sleep in Bobby's big crib, huh? "I said, "It would be okay, I wouldn't mind." Lucy bent over and hugged me and said, "That's really nice of you, baby; It would sure make it easier for me, and It would be fun to baby you a little!" I felt like I was going to fall down when she said that. I couldn't believe I was going to sleep in a real crib!After dinner aunt Lucy said, "Lets get you ready for your bath then we'll find some sleepers and night diapers for you, just in case' "I know you don't wet the bed anymore, but I don't want you trying to get out of the crib at night, so we can just put you in big night diapers and a couple pair of plastic panties, and If you have to pee at night, you can just wet your diapers, just like Bobby!"After my bath she took me into the bedroom and sat me on the changing table, and went to the dresser and took out two huge diapers, some diaper pins, and two pair of the large white plastic pants I had seen her put on Bobby. She lay me down and picked up the diapers, folded them together, and with one hand picked up my legs by my feet with one hand while she slid the diapers under my butt with the other. Lucy then took two yellow-headed diaper pins out of the pocket in her plastic apron she wore, and put them in her mouth, while she continued to tell me what a good boy I was for letting her put diapers on me, and how much I'd like them when they were on. She took baby powder and spread it all over my diaper area then brought the sides together as she pinned them together tightly and said, "I've got to get them on tight or they won't hold the potty all in, baby."I just smiled and felt the softness of the diapers and the smell of the bay powder that filled the small room. Lucy then shook out the first pair of plastic pants and slowly put them over my feet, one at a time, and then put my feet together with one hand and lifted my butt up with one hand, while she pulled the pants over me diapers with the other. She did the same thing with the second pair and leaned over me, smiled and cooed."You are the sweetest baby for me, honey. I've always known you wanted me to baby you since the first time you watched me diaper Bobby. You couldn't take your eyes off the process! Aunt Lucy thinks that's soooo sweet, and I'm going to make all your baby wishes come true while you're here."She sat me up and put the tops to the sleepers on me from the rear and sapped then into place. Lucy then picked up my feet and placed the footed bottoms over and up my legs then sapped the top and bottoms together. Lucy picked me up in her arms and patted my bottom, and I could hear the slap of hand against plastic. She took me downstairs, on her hip and picked a bottle she had already heating and took me over to her large, white rocking chair and sat down with my head in the crook of her arm. She put the nipple in my mouth and I began to suck as she rocked me back and forth slowly. She whispered to me, "everyone needs to be babied once and awhile, and I just love to do it, baby You just drink your bottle, honey, and then I'll put you down in the crib, and remember baby, If you have to wee wee, just wet your diapers! You will stay dry; you've got more than enough on you to keep you dry all night."I continued to suck as I got slowly got sleepy as I felt and heard Lucy softly pat my diapers as she rocked me back and forth, slowly.My first memory of wanting to wear diapers was at age 4. I was born with a club foot and scoliosis and my first surgeries started at 18 months. I have often thought this played into my wanting to remain a baby.As I said, at 4 years of age I remember one evening when I got two pairs of plastic plants and put them on. I am a twin with a sister one year younger and another 2 years younger. The youngest was still in diapers and I clearly remember that evening that after I put on just the plastic pants that mom was diapering my sister and I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth. Then as I used the toilet my 3 year old sister walked in and saw the plastic pants and told my mom. She asked me why I was doing it but I just shrugged my shoulders. She then asked if I wanted to wear a diaper and I nodded yes. So she took off the plastic pants and pajama bottoms and had me lay on the floor while she got a diaper. Then she folded it and lifted my legs to put the diaper under my bottom and pinned it on. After that she put on the plastic pants and sent me to bed.Later I remember her coming into my room and sticking her fingers underneath the plastic pants to see if I was wet. I don't remember the next morning or very many details for the next year.When I was about 5 my brother and I came inside from playing on morning and he had had an accident. For some reason I knew the punishment would be having to wear just a diaper the rest of the day. When my mom saw him she took him back to the bedroom while I stayed on the front porch. Again I new I wanted to wear a diaper so I pushed what pee I could out to wet my pants. My mom came back and asked if I had wet as well. My pants were dark in color so she couldn't see so she came over and felt me. She got mad and drug me by the hand to the bedroom. As I stood there she took my wet pants off while I looked at my brother with his back to me wearing his diaper and crying. She then laid me on the bed and told me to stay put while she got another diaper. After she got back I watched her folding it and I must have been smiling as she asked, "What are you smiling about? This is a punishment."From about 5-7 I have vague memories of different diapering episodes. Once when I was 6, all of us kids were left at my grandparents while my mom and dad were away. Mom had told her that if we had any accidents what to do and grandma said she'd come up with something for a diaper. A few days later we were playing with all of our cousins by a creek on the farm and I had to go potty. It was just before lunch and I headed up to the house but I leaked a very little bit before I got inside. After going potty and washing my hands grandma came in for some reason. She saw the small wet spot and asked what happened. I told her it was water from the creek. She said she doubted that and asked to see my panties. I had to pull my jeans down and she saw the yellow spot so she took my pants off and sent me into her bedroom. I had to wait forever, and when she came in she was carrying a big dish towel and pins. I started crying as I didn't want all the cousins to see me. But she made me lay down and pinned the diaper on me. I stayed hidden until she made me come out to the table for lunch. Nobody said much and I kind of settled in and enjoyed wearing it.Then a few nights later after getting ready for bed my grandma had to help put a leg brace on. While doing that she noticed another small wet spot on my pj's so she took them off and put me on the floor naked. After a bit she came with a great big bath towel and folded it up. She lifted my legs and brought it up between them and pinned it. I remember how bulky it was and I could barely walk. I went to bed and had trouble getting to sleep because it was so big. In the morning she called up and had me come down to the bathroom. She checked if I was wet and then undid the diaper so I could go potty and then pinned it back on. After breakfast she gave my brother and I a bath, but then laid me on the bathroom floor and put another big diaper on me. Later she took me to do some errands and then into town for grocery's. I was scared because I didn't want to go into the store, but she just left me in the car. This is the last I remember of being diapered by others, but it was just the beginning for my life in diapers.As I continued in school wearing back and leg braces I was picked on terribly by others. All I wanted in my mind was to go back to being a baby and stay home. For awhile mom had all the diapers around that she used as rags and I'd take them. Every month or two, up until graduating high school, she would find diapers hidden in my room. When I would get home from school she would call me into the bedroom and show me what she found. Then she'd ask why I was doing this and all I could do was shrug my shoulders because I wasn't sure. Then she'd threaten that next time she found diapers she would tell my dad and take me to a shrink. But she never did follow through with that threat, but it left me feeling very ashamed about my behavior. After high school I kept hoping I'd out grow this strange thing. Then I got married and thought the desires would go away after that. But they didn't.Then to complicate matters I had had some urinary tract damage done after one of many back surgeries by a nurse getting tangled with the catheter and yanking it out. Years after scar tissue started building and caused bladder spasms and so I started wearing diapers for protection and it made a good excuse for my wife. But later it required corrective surgery and my excuse disappeared. I was married 18 years and until 1993, I was born in 1961, I never heard the term infantilism, or even new someone else was out there like me. One day I got home from work and my wife told me she saw the Donahue show about adult babies and asked if it was me. (At this point I was lying to her that I needed diapers at night because of incontinence.) Of course I said no, but was really surprised to learn I wasn't alone. Then I got a computer and internet and learned a whole lot more.At this point I came clean with her, and told her the whole story. I then went through therapy and stuff thinking this all could be changed. After trying for all of 6 years I gave up. We were divorced, and now I live almost 24/7 in diapers, always hoping to find a lady that would understand and accept me.I have always been fascinated with wearing diapers as far back as I can remember.  The first time I actually started wearing diapers again was at age 7 with a friend of mine at his home.  We were playing with toys in his younger brother's room when we glanced over at some disposable diapers, decided how neat and funny it would be if we tried them on and pretend to be toddlers again.  No one was home at the time, so we put the diapers on under our clothes and continued playing.  Right away I knew it was something that I liked doing, feeling the diaper on my bottom, the softness, sense of security, and of course the light rustling sound they made under my clothes.  We took the diapers off before his parents got home, wishing I could keep them on forever.That same year, my parents took me on vacation with them to Europe to visit Relatives.  Bed space was tight, so I was made to sleep in a baby crib that belonged to my aunt's 2 year old while he slept with them.  Of course I protested, telling my mom that there was no way I was going to sleep in a baby crib, especially since my dad was already teasing me about it.  Guess who won that battle.  I ended up sleeping in that crib the whole month I was there.  That first night I started thinking of that day my friend and I wore the  diapers at his house, and how cool it would be if only I had one on now sleeping in this crib.  It wasn't going to be so bad after all.  My dad still kept teasing me about being a 7 year old baby, but it didn't bother me anymore.  He had no idea of how much I actually liked sleeping in that crib.From age 7 to 11,  I still wanted to wear diapers again, but never got the chance because I was the youngest, and there wasn't any diapers around for me to wear.  I wish I did though.  There was numerous times that I had accidents when I was out playing or shopping with my mom.  Sometimes they were truly accidents, sometimes I did it on purpose.  Whenever I did go grocery shopping with my mom, I would sneak over to the diaper isle to get a glimpse at all the diapers.  I would dream about one day buying a pack of pampers and wearing them, but the fear inside me prevented me from doing so for a long time.  I still made makeshift diapers at home to compensate for it though.  Sometimes I would double and triple up my underpants, and pretend that they were trainers, and sometimes I would take white terry cloth towels and safety pins and wear it like a diaper.  I wore my PJs over them at night just in case my mom ever came into my room.  Then at age 12, something exciting happened to me.I was walking home from school one day, and had to pee real bad.  Why I didn't go to the bathroom at school I can't remember for the life of me.  I turned down an alley, to see if there was a place I could pee, but every alley I walked down, someone was there.  Either the garbage man, other kids from school, or people working out of their garages.  Man, I was having no luck.  With every step I took, I could feel the urge to pee increase.  Then it happened.  I felt myself starting to pee.  Small spurts at first.  I got scared and started running.  I could feel the pee coming out, so I ran behind a trash can to stop what was happening, but when I got there it was too late.  I looked down at my light blue pants and saw that there was no hiding it.  They were soaked.  I started thinking, what if someone saw me like this?  I started walking home cautiously, keeping my hands in front of my pants from time to time, hoping not to bump into anyone from school, especially someone I knew.  I was a block away from home, thinking I was safe, I removed my hands from the front of my pants to take a look to see if it was drying up.  When I looked up, there standing in front of me was a girl from my class.  She totally caught me off guard.  She looked down and saw that I had peed my pants.  I was speechless.  I couldn't say anything.  She could see that my eyes wear pleading with hers, trying to say "please don't tell anyone."  I was on the verge of tears.  She must of saw this, holding her books, and just said "hi Richie", and kept walking.  What was I going to now?  I just knew everyone in school is going to find out.Then I finally made it home, I got undressed, showered, put on clean clothes and lied down in my room, thinking to myself what just happened.  I was thinking that if I would've been in a diaper,  it would have never have happened.   Let's face it.  I liked wearing them anyhow, and maybe no one would ever know I had one on.  That day I went to the grocery store and bought my first package of  Toddler Size Pampers.  I picked those cause of the smell and hoping that they would fit.  After buying them with my allowance, I rushed home to try them on.  They almost fit except they wasn't high enough in the back, so I taped two of them together to make one diaper.  They fit perfectly then.  I couldn't believe it.  It felt so good being back in diapers.  I started wearing them that night and every night to bed.  I never got caught by my parents either.  I always hid the my diapers in my room very well.Oh, by the way.  The next day when I went to school, no one teased me.  She never told anyone.  Way cool!  She must of thought how embarrassed I was and didn't ponder on it.  I definitely wished I would of thanked her for not telling anyone, but I guess in the back of my mind I was hoping she really didn't see my wet pants.  Yea right.