Cursed -- (Author) Zenka

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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Nov 20, 2014 at 9:07 PM
Content: So this is an alternate story, a re-write to my other story on here. It will be really different so i have planned to catch up on my other story here, then continue to add chapters to both at the same time.

If you want to read the other story i have and haven't already, Just click this blue thing here

So yes, chapter one, Here!

Chapter 1
“Welcome!” A man in his late twenties said, as he gestured for his guest, a girl in her mid-teens, to sit down in a chair across from his before sitting down in his own chair.

“Hi Alex”, she replied slowly, looking at the doctor in front of her. Another weekly session with her psychiatrist. She wasn’t paying, so she didn’t mind; she usually just showed up and stayed quiet the whole time, mostly because she didn’t want to face her past or the dormant emotions slowly cooking up inside of her.

Alex sighed. “Just call me Doc, please”, he said before looking at her and smiling. “So, another silent day today, hmm?” he said slowly. He wasn't going to force her to talk, no matter how much he wanted to help her.

“Just be glad”, she started, and gave him a cold glare. “You get paid for having a stranger sit with you for an hour, no real work needed. I’d like to continue that”, she added, before falling silent again and looking away.

“Yeah, but my interest is not to get money from you - that is just to pay my bills. I see you here every week because I want to help you”, Alex said slowly with a serious look on his face. “Aki… Listen. I know I don’t know what happened; I mean I know what happened with your parents…vaguely...but this one is a lot more recent, isn’t it?” he said slowly, and returned her stare.

“So I am just supposed to tell you? Just supposed to say how I got my best friend killed?” Aki said with a tone a bit louder than she needed, mostly because she was fighting back tears. Her head was still turned away from Doc, her tough personality didn’t allow her to get all down and emotional, especially in front of someone, but this was a battle that she was losing.

“That would be a start. Whatever happened, I am certain that it was not your fault. You might be feeling guilty because of something that you did, but your best friend probably had all kinds of underlying problems you had no idea about”, he said softly.

Aki sobbed softly, just wanting to strut out of the place but knowing she would get scolded for that. So she just stayed where she was. She was mostly afraid of what would happen if she confronted her demons: if she told him about her hell. Sure, he was a medically trained professional, but it was not about what he would think - it was about what she would feel.

Doc just waited until she had calmed down before looking back at her. “So, how is school?” he asked, hoping that small talk could get her a bit out of her shell. After all, he couldn’t work with her closed off like that - you had to open the clam to see the treasure within.

Aki dried a tear that was forming in her eye and looked at him briefly. “Horrible! Thank God, thank God it's Saturday, we have to pair up and do this… This group assignment in biology. I'll probably be paired up with some popular kid that thinks they are too good for school, and will make me do it all by myself…” she said with a sigh, sitting up better in her seat.

“Well at least you will get a grade for it, and they will fail, then maybe you won’t see them next year”, he explained with a soft smile on his face. “Or you could ask to get transferred to another group, it is not that hard.”

Aki nodded as she looked at the clock, and stood up, “Time is up… I have to go”, she said slowly and got up from her seat. There were still ten minutes left but she wanted to just get this over and done with as soon as possible.

Doc nodded his head simply and stood up to follow her to the door, “So, will you be ready to talk next Saturday?” he asked simply.

“I might be”, Aki responded, as she walked out the door with a heavy sigh, trying to keep her dark hair from getting in her face from the heavy wind outside.

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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Dec 26, 2014 at 6:02 AM
Content: Sorry for the wait folks, but at least now you can see it as a slightly late Christmas present. Well i have rewritten this thing like 3 times over, then today i took a last look and edited a bit, ended up adding 600 words.

So here it is.

Chapter 2
Aki strived to stay awake during class the next day, she had struggled to fall asleep the night before, there always was something; she was too hot, she was too cold, she was lost in thought. There was always something

The bell rang and all the students started to stand up. The teacher sighed and looked at the clock, “Alright kids, that is enough for today, have a great weekend” he said as he packed up his things before walking out of the classroom.

Soon enough the class was empty save for two students, Aki and dark clad female with a hood covering her face. The other female was lying on the table with her hands under her head.

Aki walked up to the other female and sighed a bit, “Don’t tell me you are sleeping again Jess” she said and sat down with her.

The female looked up slightly; “I don’t sleep in class, and you should know that by now Ki-Ki. I couldn’t have seen anything going on today anyways. I forgot my glasses at home.” she said as she got her bag and stood up, “Ready to go?” she asked and started to walk out the door.

Aki sighed again and stood up, “Stop calling me that. I have told you many times” she said as she got her bag up again and headed out.

“And you should know not to call me Jess, I don’t like it”

“I think Jessica is just too long of a name, I think Jess is better, and it fits”

“And I think that Ki-Ki is fits better as well, so we have an agreement” Jessica said as they walked out the door of the school after the final class of the day.

Aki just sighed for yet another time, this time upon realizing her defeat. The girls headed out the front door of the school, the sun blasted them in the face with a barrage of photons, to which Jessica yielded too by squinting her eyes and using her hand to block the sun from her eyes.

Aki looked over at her friend and chuckled, “That is what happens when you spent all day and night inside with the light off and the curtains drawn” she said, as a joke rather than anything else.

Jessica growled almost inaudibly and looked down as she started to walk back to the group home that the two orphans resided in, the journey back home was mostly in silence, save for the occasional grunt and sigh from either one of them.

When they arrived they went into the room they shared and dropped of their bags. Aki walked to her wardrobe and opened the bottom drawer, pulling out a package of diaper, slowly and carefully taking a single one from the bag, “Hey, I am going to have a change. Just wait here if you want if you are not wet as well” she said and started to walk out of the room.

“Um…” Jessica said and checked her diaper, “Yeah, It seems so” she opened her top right drawer and took out a single diaper from the stack of diapers neatly folded and stacked on one another in her would-be pantie drawer, repurposed for thicker panties.

Aki giggled a bit, “How does one not know that they peed themselves?” she said teasingly

“I told you, nerve damage, becau….”

“Because of your father, I know, you’ve told me” Aki interjected as she walked to the bathroom

“…Right… Anyways yeah, I sometimes don’t even know it is coming out. Count yourself lucky, at least you never wake up with a stinky in your diaper” Jessica said with a sigh, “Anyways, you want to go first?”

Aki and nodded and went in and locked the door, several muffled sounds could be heard if one cared to listen; Cloth sliding against the skin, wincing as if the person was touching something cold, a crinkle of some sort of plastic material, before light footsteps and the sound of cloth being moved against the skin again. After a while Aki came out again after having disposed of her diaper.

Jessica could not help but to smile a bit, to think that she would meet, hell, share a room with someone who not only understood her potty struggle, but went through it too.

A short while and a very peculiar symphony of sounds later, Jessica came back out and headed into the room with her friend that waited outside the whole time.

Aki giggled a bit to herself over the potential comments she could make, all of which could be turned around and fired back at her so she just kept silent until Jessica broke said silence.

“So have you heard from Rachel at all?” Jessica asked, she knew that the two of them were once as inseparable as peanut butter and jelly on a sandwich, though she had not heard what split them apart, but she was not one to pry.

“No, I have not since last semester. Last I heard from her was last semester when we were paired together in a room for that trip last semester.” Aki responded back, her tone changing to a more dark and sad tone than usual.

“Oh? Do you guys do a trip like that every semester?”

Aki shook her head, “No, only the ned of spring semester, it is like a small graduation trip, usually just one or two towns over… It is usually pretty fun”

“Does every school do that now? I seem to have lost out quite a bit during my… Stay” Jessica responded with a fake smile to hide that she was confused.

Aki shook her head, “No, ours does it. And what was it, 2 years? 3 years? That won’t make a whole lot of difference in the school system, I am surprised though that you got to skip out a few classes like that, you must be that smart.”

“Well… Back at home the only thing I did was reading, and when I finished all the fiction, I finished study books. The students kept bullying me and thinking I was cheating on tests because I always got a perfect mark, the teacher was mad at me for always finishing my homework… three weeks ahead of time. And I thought you were the Asian…” Jessica explained with a small gasp for air after her monologue.

Aki giggle at bit at that last remark, “I am not ‘that’ smart. Most reason why Asians are said to be smart because Asian schools have an entirely different standard and push their students much harder” Aki stated and laid back in her bed, looking at the clock on the wall slowly, “Hey, don’t you have an appointment with your shrink… Harmon? Was it?” she asked and directed her gaze to Jessica.

Jessica sighed and looked at the clock herself, “And I thought I had time to dye my hair today. Well the crimson just has to be faded for a little while longer” she said as she took a lock of her black hair with two semi-wide crimson stripes coming down on either side of her top.

Aki just nodded and sat up in her bed, “You better hurry, you know how these guys hate tardiness” she said before Jessica nodded and started to walk to the front door.

“Just don’t do anything stupid while I am away okay?” Jessica shouted from the half before exiting without waiting for an answer.

Aki was going to respond but just let out a winded sigh when she heard the door slam. She looked at her friend’s nightstand and saw Jessica’s glasses still lying there, she thought if picking them up and running after her but figured it was too late for that, or it was just her being lazy.

Eventually she decided to pick up her phone and at least send her friend a message. She pulled up contact list and scrolled down to the J. Her contact list was not too big, mostly consisting of her legal guardians’ numbers, numbers from doctors and a few friends. Was about to select Jessica’s number before she stopped and stared at the phone for a few seconds.

Just there, even though they were 7 letters of the alphabet apart there were only 3 contacts separating Jessica’s number and Rachel’s number. After a good while she eventually opened Rachel’s contact log instead, there were only missed and unanswered calls there, when one wanted to talk the other didn’t answer, it had been like that for a long time.

Aki held down her breath for a second and pressed the ‘call’ button. The phone dialed in and started to let out the occasional beep. After a good minute Aki just sighed and started to lower her phone before it finally picked up. Aki froze there as nothing but a slow breath could be heard for a few seconds that felt like hours to both of them.

“Aki… Long time we talked….” Rachel started, breaking the age old silence between the once best friends.

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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Feb 5, 2015 at 12:42 AM
Content: So i am dreadfully sorry for not updating for almost 2 months, but school started up again and it is more stressful then ever. And my old laptop gave away so i got a job and got a new computer, but it took me a while longer to get Word back on it so i could write and i just started to work on the newest chapter today, so i can not say when it will be out. But it will be out, that i can promise you.

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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Feb 26, 2015 at 7:48 PM
Content: So i like rewote this thing way too often. I tend to do that a lot.

Also on another note, I am working on a story on Jessica's backstory, and how she got into her mess. But 2 months is enoguh of a wait for a new chapter so i will finally published it after haivng finished it 5 minutes ago.

Chapter 3
Aki listened to the voice on the other end, calling out for her, calling her name, asking if anybody was there a few times before the line went silent. Aki felt odd, she wanted to rant, she wanted to talk for hours, but her vocal cords had stopped working, her brain froze, she could not even give out stutters or even grunts for that matter.

Aki squirmed her eyes shut and hung up the phone, she had never thought of this possibility, the possibility of her freezing up when she heard her voice. “I miss you…” she said through the silence as a single tear rolled down her face.

Aki let out a yawn and closed her eyes as a sudden feeling of drowsiness fell over her, she had had troubles with sleeping the past few weeks, her slumbers ended with her jolting up in bed after a nightmare. Some nights she would not go to sleep and just lay in her bed for what felt like an entire day until dawn came. Despite that she decided to get a nap so she rolled over to the side and closed her eyes, soon falling asleep.

Aki soon found herself dreaming, she was walking into her parent’s bedroom, they were frantically packing bags speaking in a language that she had never heard before at that age, but now recognized as English even though the conversation was lost to her.

She looked at it confused as her parents were in great hurry to leave for some reason unknown to her. She walked over to them right before a knock was heard at the door. Her parents both got a bit startled and looked towards the door in silence. Another knock was heard, this time a lot louder and a lot harder.

“Aki! Himeru!” Her dad said in a hushed voice but Aki just stood there dumbfounded for a while, unable to move. “Ima!” he dad almost shouted as a loud thud was heard at the door followed by the door swinging open.

Aki yelped a bit and ran further into the room, she quickly opened a closet and got in before closing it off and curling up into a ball. Suddenly she heard a loud bang fallowed by something heavy hitting the floor. Next was what was clearly her mom screaming before another bang.

Aki jolted awake in her bed, her eyes were wet and her heart was thumping in her chest, she wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at her phone, only one and a half hour had passed since she had fallen asleep and she was dead tired.

“Good morning sleepyhead” Jessica said from the other side of the room, “I was getting worried, you were tossing and turning in that bed like crazy” Jessica added.

“Yeah… Tough nightmare” Aki responded as she looked down, and patted her crotch, “And of course it is too much to ask for to wake up dry” she said with a sigh before standing up, “I will be right back” she added as she started to head towards the bathroom.

Aki came back after a while and sat down at Jessica’s bed, “So how was the shrink’s appointment?” she asked, mostly to have something to focus on other than her painful memories.

“Probably similar to your nightmare. It seemed like forever and made me dread going again” Jessica responded without looking up from her phone which she had taken up to have something to do while Aki was doing her business.

“By the way” Jessica started again, “I met Rachel on my way back. She asked me if you were okay” she said as she looked at Aki just in time to see her freeze up, “Something happen between the two of you while I was away?” she asked when she saw her expression.

Aki slowly shook her head, “Um… We didn’t really talk….” She said slowly, remembering her failure from earlier.

“I don’t really get friends, last time I had one I was like… 8. That is a long time ago” Jessica replied as she went back to her phone.

“Well, I am your friend, right?”

“Well, I guess you could put it like that, I do not hate you, and you are fun to be with, so yeah… I guess.”

Aki snickered a bit, “You are such a weird, you know that?”

Jessica smiled a bit, “Says the Asian with lower tests scores than me, sometimes you make me wonder who the Asian one is of us” she said with a chuckle.

“Well sorry princess, being bounced around from foster care to foster care and going to different schools for only months at a time makes it hard to study at a steady pace. One school is learning one thing while another is learning something else at the same time, then you constantly learn the same things because of different pacing of schools” Aki said, almost starting to rant there.

Jessica just giggled, “Here we go again, one of your life stories about how hard your life was” she said as she locked her phone and put it away.

Aki was going to say something before the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it!” One of the younger kids shouted as he bolted towards the door and opened it.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while, come in” The kid said as he closed the door before letting the guest in. “Aki! Rachel is here!” he shouted into his room before running off into his room again.

Jessica smiled, “Oh, and I forgot, I invite Rachel over” she said with a grin on her face

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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: May 16, 2015 at 5:04 AM
Content: School is over and i am ready to mingle!!

Now i went to a dozen scenarios on how they should meet. First it was up on the roof of the school, then it was they talked on the phone and met in the park, next it was in a party. God damn me and my re-writes. This chapter isn't overly long, only just breaking the 1000 word mark. So here you go

Chapter 4
Aki‘s eyes went wide when she heard what her ‘friend’ had done. She jolted out of her bed and tried to look for an exit other than the door, looking a bit shocked more than anything else.

Jessica looked at her, “Aki! Stop right there!” she said in a loud commanding voice as she stood up to block her way, “You can’t keep running from your past. Trust me, I know it is to feel responsible for someone else’s death. It wasn’t your fault and you have to realize that” she said before letting out a sigh and turned around when Rachel walked into the room. Jessica chuckled a bit, “Here you have you chance to make up with your friend… whatever there is between you” She said as she exited the room and closed the door.

Aki opened her mouth to try and form words but her throat clotted up, it closed up and it even became hard to breathe for a bit. After a while she closed her mouth and blew out her nose in frustration at her inability to start speaking.

Rachel smiled softly, “Quite a charmer… Your friend.” She said slowly as she took a seat on Jessica’s bed, across from Aki’s. She certainly had changed a lot, instead of her athletically built body and naturally tanned skin had been changed into a thin frail frame, pale in color.

Aki chuckled a bit, “Friend is a loose term. Roommate…. Classmate… Wouldn’t really say friend” She said, feeling extremely relieved as she finally broke the silence that had lasted for way to long. It was an almost euphoric feeling, like a massive load had been lifted off her body.

Rachel’s smile widened at that, “You haven’t changed one bit… Not that it has been that long…” She said as she looked over at her friend, “So how have you been?” she asked with a voice that sounded kind and calm, but also sounded like the tone was just to mask up the sadness festering inside of her.

A sigh escaped Aki’s lips, “Not good… Nightmares started again… I can’t pay attention to school because I am too tired… You know… Usual stuff….” she answered as she looked over at her friend, “Sorry about your dad….” She added.

Much to Aki’s surprise, Rachel let out a small laugh, “Everybody we know end up dead…. Might say we are Cursed or something” she said with a wide, very unsettling grin. When she found out what she was doing, Rachel quickly lost her grin and looked away, “Sorry… I guess we all find our ways to cope”

Aki was obviously taking aback by that remark, “Excuse me?” She said slowly before grinning and even letting out laughter, “Yeah…. I guess we are” she said as she looked at her friend again, “My parents… your dad… As….” She said slowly before biting down on her words and looking away.

Naturally this caught Rachel’s attention, “Listen, what happened to Ashley was none of your fault, okay.” She said slowly, “It was an unfortunate chain of events, our argument was just a small part of what…” She said but trailed off when she saw Aki’s expression. It was the expression of sadness, of grief, it was almost the same expression a person mourning the loss of their spouse would have.

Rachel stood up and walked over to her and put her arm over her shoulder, soon enclosing in a hug, “I know that you guys were close...” she said before she saw Aki brake away from the hug.

Aki sighed, “So… I hear you got a taste of my hell…” She said slowly, motioning towards her crotch, “Word travels fast, treacherous friends everywhere” she added slowly, if only to trail away from the original subject for a brief moment.

Rachel leaned back from the hug and slowly nodded, “Yeah… stress’ll do that that to you” she said slowly, “I am sure you know that better than I do” she said slowly, “luckily my accidents are limited to night times…. I don’t claim to know what you must feel like… but I have the smallest hint.” Rachel added mirthlessly. “If you want, you can stay at my place tonight, you know… for old time sakes” she suggested with a soft smile on her face.

Aki shook her head, “No, shrink’s appointment tomorrow, plus I doubt you’d like me waking you up at 4 in the morning with my blood curling screams, when I wake up from a nightmare.”

Rachel sighed, “Fine, I get it, you hate me” She said sarcastically, “Sorry for the short visit, but I have to go” She said as she stood up, “Seeya later Ki-Tsa” She said with a smirk before exiting the room and heading out the front door.

Aki chuckled, “Still saying it wrong!” She called after her. In a while Jessica came back with a smirk on her face. Aki smiled softly and stood up, “Thank you Jessica, I don’t know for how long I would just continue to never talk to her” she said with a smile.

Jessica giggled, “No problem. Don’t you have your shrink’s appointment tomorrow” she asked as she sat down on her bed and picked up the book that was on her bed.

“Yeah, but that is at 6 AM, so I kinda need to be asleep by now, taking into account waking up 3 times and having 4 nightmares” she sighed as she laid down on her bed, arms spread.

Jessica opened her book to the marker and started to read, “You really should eat something, you didn’t eat breakfast, you didn’t eat dinner, keep going like this and you will end up like a stick” she said slowly as she idly read through her book at an alarming pace.

“I’ll get something to eat tomorrow okay” Aki said as she let out a yawn and quickly fell asleep, after blocking away all the complaints and lectures Jessica was throwing her way. The girls had become very adept at that, Jessica giving lectures and Aki not giving a damn.

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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Jun 22, 2015 at 7:59 AM
Content: Hmm, my chapters seem to be a bit far apart, i could make up excuses all day, but the one i would make the most would be "Lack of motivation" But at least i write sometimes, and this here is no different.

CHAPTER 5
Aki growled lightly as she walked along the busy street in the morning. She had barely gotten any sleep the previous night, but it wasn’t nightmares at all. She had been up all night thinking, about the past, about the present, the future. What could have been and what could be. She turned into a street and walked down the row of houses, she stopped at one house and knocked at the door, stepping back when she waited for an answer.

The door soon opened to a man in his late twenties, beckoning her inside. Aki sighed and nodded, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. Alex smiled and offered her a seat before taking a seat next to her, “Welcome Aki. How are you this morning?” he asked with a soft tone to his voice.

Aki forced a small smile, “Okay…. I think… I got in touch with my friend again…. Which is….” She said before letting out a sigh and looked at him, “It is okay…. I guess”

Alex nodded slowly, “Why did you stop talking in the first place?” He asked slowly, trying to get her to open up so she would be more willing to talk.

Aki nodded her head slowly, “Okay…. I guess” She said before slowly breathing in and then out to calm herself, “Her name is Rachel, there were 3 of us, me, Rachel and a girl named Ashley. Ashley and I where the best of friends, like… We were never apart, I practically lived at her place unofficially, I was there every day and we had sleepovers every week, sometimes multiple times every week.” She said before slowly breathing out, trying to keep all of her emotions in check while she talked about such a sensitive subject.

Alex noted that and fixed his posture in his chair, “It is okay. This is good. Just let it all out” he said softly, looked directly at her but avoided looking her in the eyes.

Aki nodded her head slowly, “Yeah… Sorry, it is still fresh” she said slowly, “Ashely was never the popular type. Her parents were rich, filthy rich. Now instead of that making her all famous like, it made people resent her. Her parents were…. Her parents are… Do you know who the Wood family is?” she asked slowly, hoping that he could make it easier for her.

Alex leaned a bit back at his chair at her question, a bit surprised, “Why yes… Everybody knows them, Bankers… Um… Mortgage Bankers? I heard on the news that they won a lawsuit, people were really mad because they never cut anyone any slack, as soon as somebody couldn’t pay rent or mortgage they were out on the streets… Wait…. You mean Ashley Wood was…” he said as he fell silent, knowing now where this story time was heading.

Aki nodded her head, “Yeah… That Ashley Wood” she said slowly, “Then you probably know what happened to her...” she said slowly.

Alex nodded his head, “Yeah, because they were famous the news had no shame in reporting that they… They said that they disowned the girl? They basically threw her on the street, the news reporters said that it was some argument but that isn’t the whole truth I think. Two days after that she was…” he said and took a deep breath, “She was found floating in the river… according to the police she had jumped off the bridge” He said as he looked over at the now sobbing Aki, “But I have the feeling that that is not the entire truth… There is more to it?” He asked, getting curious at this point.

Aki laughed a bit under her sobs, “That what they told the press?” she said as she straightened out her back, “There was this boy… I can’t remember his name for the life of me, you could say… he was not… the straight and narrow kind. He was… Well Ashley described him as kind… He couldn’t hold a job, he didn’t stay in school, he certainly did smoke a lot, and from the smell I would say it wasn’t always cigarettes.” She said before taking a deep breath to try and compose herself, “I hated that guy… Everybody did, everybody….. Except for her, I swear, if I had heard that he was…” she said before taking a deep breath again. “She had bruises… She claimed that she got mugged, that she fell, and that she got in a food fight at school…. They only ever showed up after she was with him…. I swear I would have… If I would have known sooner he would be in her place, laying in a wooden box six feet deep…” Aki said before wiping a tear from her eye.

Alex handed her a tissue, looking concerned, “So you are saying that… This man…. Threw her off the bridge?” He asked as he sat back in his chair after handing her the tissue.

“No” Aki responded, shaking her head slightly, “Her parents found out that she was dating that guy, she told me that she was practically forced to break up with him, she refused and that lead to them throwing her out on the streets…” She said before taking another deep breathe, “I…. Well she came to me, seeking… Consolation. She told me what she had done… And I….. I….” she said, finally breaking down crying. “I shouted at her….” She said as the tears streamed down her cheeks, “She came to me…. Wanting me to help her…. And I shouted at her” she said.

Alex nodded his head and handed her another tissue, waiting for her to cry it all out, normally under these circumstances he would be hugging the crying person, but with patients he never knew how they responded to touch, so he stayed firmly planted in his seat, but not without sorrow. It took full twenty minutes for Aki to compose herself again before he started speaking again, “You don’t have to continue, I understand why you feel it was your fault. But it was just a string of events, you showed kindness in your way, you only wanted to make things right without knowing how it would end.” He said as he handed her another tissue, which shortly after was discarded in the pile of other tissues.

Aki let out a sigh of relief, “thank you for listening but…” she said before taking a glance at the clock, hoping the time would be over, “I should get going… we are already five minutes over” She said and stood up, “Thanks Alex, I guess I kinda do feel a lot better” She said as she took a final deep breath and headed out the door and out on the streets.

Alex followed her to the door and showed her out before returning to his chair to get ready for the next patient. Ten minutes later his doorbell was rung so he stood up to open it, there was a girl standing outside that was around the same age as Aki which walked in and sat down on the chair on the opposite of Alex, facing him.

Alex took up his client notebook and read over it before laying it down, “You must be Rachel Swanson correct?”

Rachel nodded her head, “Yeah…” She said slowly as she fidgeted with her fingers.

Alex nodded, “so what can I do for you Rachel? What do you want to talk about today?”

Rachel took a deep breath, “Well… I recently met up again with my friend from a long time ago and we started talking, so I kinda need to vent about something on my chest.” She said slowly, “I was talking to her when I remembered, I got my best friend killed. Her name was Ashley… She died and it was my fault.” She said with a shaky voice.

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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Aug 1, 2015 at 1:02 AM
Content: I hate myself. Simply put. I promise updates, then drag it for weeks, months even, making up excuses and things but here is the real reason why my updates are slow even if I have a LOT of spare time. No, I am nit going to say that TV shows and videogames keep me to busy.... again. Even though that is all I do, I can go write any time I want but... the reason is... well... I hate myself.

You guys are amazing, you ha e given me more support than I have ever hoped for. But still I hate myself, I write each chapter, then erase it, then write it again, always feeling aweful that it is such low quality in comparison with some other stuff. But I do this wayyyy to much, I am the kind of person that would start Karate but then feels like shit because Bruce Lee was better even though Lee was practically the God of martial arts. I always hate what I write, I love writing it, but reading it on hindsight makes me cringe and want too delete it, too much dialogue, too little dialogue, too barebone, too short, too long. There is always some nitpicking that makes me feel horrible. Then finally I just give up, I write something up and post it here, half expecting you to bury me alive with shame, pointing out grammar mistakes, plot holes, inconsistent characters. But you give me nothing but praise, at first it makes me feel good and encourages me to continue, then the pessimism in me starts shouting, arguing that you are just some random people on the internet, and then it goes farther and farther which you would find insulting should I explain.

It is just this combo of depression and a self esteem measurable only by a microscope that keeps me from ever being happy with any of my content. Sorry that my low self esteem has kept you from reading more.

I am nit saying I will stop writing, I just thought you deserved to know the real reason why

(By the way, on a phone with a funky keyboard now, so don't go yelling and my phone's funky autocorrect)

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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Aug 1, 2015 at 12:39 PM
Content: Thanks Emily. You are actually a person I look up at in these parts. Mainly because I haven't read a book as far as I have yours in... well in years. Last book I finished was the first hunger games book, so that was a while back.

I was in.a really bad place yesterday, my family kept cracking jokes at me, I kept feeling horrible that I can't really be myself found my own family (I am not ever going to tell them about my diaper longings). So the confidence booster is definately appreciated!

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Author: Zenka
Timestamp: Aug 4, 2015 at 11:18 PM
Content: So this took long. And is a bit darker than the usual... fits my mood.

Chapter 6

"Hey Aki! Rachel is here!" A young boy shouted from the door a before letting her in and going toddling off.

Rachel chuckled slightly before slowly making her way to Aki's room. She opened the door and slowly made her way inside before closing the door behind herself.

Aki was laying on her bed, sleeping soundly under her covers even though it was 4 pm. Rachel smiled softly and made her way to a chair across from her friend's bed and waited, she knew about her friend's sleeping problem so she wouldn't dare disturb her.

After about 10 minutes Jessica came into the room and looked over at the pair, letting out a slight chuckle, "you know, this is only slightly creepy. Most people would come back later" she commented and placed a heavy plastic bag full off books on her bed.

Rachel looked over at the girl who just entered and smiled softly, "yeah... kinda need to talk to her... like really need to...." she said as she smiled softly "Aren't you the girl who is always sleeping in class but still gets the highest grades?" She asked, fixing her posture in the chair a bit.

"That seems about right, and just to answer all your questions. No, I am not sleeping with any of the teachers, I am not cheating, I am not really studying 24/7, and I am not 'secretly an asian', is that all?" Jessica responded a bit annoyed as she removed book after book from her bag, piling them up in her nightstand.

Rachel lowered her head a bit, "sorry, you must get that question a lot..." she said apologetically before looking over at what she was doing, "let me guess, you are so smart because you read a lot?"

"Yep" Jessica responded, "never really went straight home before I came to this place, always stayed at the library, to read. When I finished the fiction books I started to read the study books. People called me a freak, maybe rightfully so" she said bluntly, almost sounding rehearsed.

Rachel fell silent at that, the girl really had talent for being repulsive and making people feel like they don't belong where they are.

"Do what you will" Jessica said as she picked up two books and headed for the door, "I am going out to visit someone, have fun. Aki should wake up soon, she never sleeps for longer than a few hours" she said just before she went out the door, closing it behind herself.

20 minutes later, Aki opened her eyes, feeling oddly devoid of fatigue despite getting so little sleep. She sat up in her bed slowly and yawned, seeing someone on her chair, "Rachel? Oh.... wow.... um.... I did not expect to see you here" she said, feeling a bit flustered since she was only wearing a tanktop and a wet diaper, nothing else than that since she was asleep before her guest came in.

"Hey... Sorry to barge in like this Aki, but can we talk? Please?" Rachel said, standing up.

"In a moment.... I am hardly dressed for any kind of company, can you wait outside or something while I get dressed into something a bit more decent?"

Rachel blushed a bit but nodded, "yeah.... sorry...." she said before hurrying out the door and waiting outside the room.

After a bit Aki exited the room clad in a T-shirt and shorts, "so... you needed to talk?" She asked as she stepped a bit away from the door, inviting her in.

"Yeah..... thanks" Rachel said slowly as she walked into her friend's room and sat on the same chair as before, "you are going to a psychologist regularly... right?" She asked awkwardly.

"Yeah.... why?"

"Um... I kinda booked an appointment, there were a few things that I needed to sent about to a neautral person, someone who I don't really know."

"I highly doubt you came here only to tell me that... get to the point" Aki said, still a bit snarky from waking up.

"Yeah... sorry.... um..." Rachel said, thinking for a bit how exactly she was going to say it, "um.... I... i went to talk to him about Ashley" she said slowly.

Aki shook her head at that, "whatever happened between you two, will stay between you two, I don't want to hear it!" She snarled, laying down on her bed, not wanting to face her feelings of guilt yet again.

"Aki, I know you blame yourself, but when I was talking to you I realized, I was the one who really did it. It is my fault she is dead!" Rachel said, raising her voice almost to the point of yelling.

"Well unless you pushed her off that bridge, I doubt it would have matter much!!!" Aki yelled back, feeling sad again.

"Just listen to me will'ya! You remember that kid... Karon? I introduced them. The boy that let to Ashley's parents disowning her wouldn't have started to date her except because of me. And it was me who accidentally brought up that she and Karon had been dating, which ultimately lead to.... you know! If it wasnt for me.... you never could have done anything to upset her." Rachel said, lowering her voice towards the end, mostly because of she was trying to hide her sobbing and quivering lip.

Aki avoided looking at her friend, nodding slowly. "But I don't understand.... if she would be mad at me.... why didn't she just say goodbye and go running back to that body building freak... well he was much older than us... maybe she thought he wouldn't understand?" She said really slowly, mostly thinking out loud.

"Oh... you didn't know? Karon broke up with her as soon as she was cut off from the family. She abandoned her family for a boy that abandoned her because she got cut off... did you never see them together? Like, at all?" Rachel asked, a bit surprise since Ashley and Aki were so close.

"She refused to see me after she had dated him for a while, always tried to make up excuses to not see me, she even started skipping school... I assumed she was too busy getting in his pants to be around me at all." Aki said, her sadness started to turn to anger.

"Oh.... she wasnt busy... I should shut up now, she was clearly trying to protect you.... I shouldn't undo all that" Rachel said as she stood up and started to leave.

"Sit down and tell me!" Aki said sternly, standing up to block her friends way.

"Trust me, you'll be bett..."

"I don't care!" Aki interjected, "tell me now, I don't care if it will hurt me! Tell me!" She said angrily. Her anger was justified really, all this time she had blamed herself, but hearing of this she wanted to know the full story.

"Fine...." Rachel said in a low tone of voice, sitting back down. "Karon.... Ashley...." Rachel stuttered, trying to find the right words. "Ashley was just an ATM for Karon, he didnt care about her at all. 18 years old and couldn't get into high-school, probably set to a life of poverty, Karon jumped at the offer of the daughter of the richest people in the state was crawling into his lap. a week after they started dating he had a new car, several days later he had a Rolex. They were planning on buying a house.... 'together', he would without a doubt have dropped her when he got the house." Rachel said with a sad tone of voice.

Aki nodded her head slowly, "but why wouldn't se see me? She had spare ti..."

"I wasn't finished" Rachel interrupted, "she wouldn't see you because.... he was.... 'training' her, and I don't mean by letting her weight lift.... When I confronted him about her constant bruises from things that were very unlikely, he only said, that he had to 'keep his women in line', that he was training her like some dog! Making sure that she never did anything behind his back!" Rachel said, starting to get very angry, not noticing her friend who looked like she was just about ready to stab someone.

Aki was taking slow, heavy breaths, her face red and her gains looking like they could pop out of her head at any time. She grunted and swung her fist into the wall, making more just a loud thud, breaking more than just a small hole in the wall. "Where is he now!" She shouted, feeling anger unlike anything she had felt before, feelings so strong that it overshadowed the pain of her broken hand.

Rachel eeped a bit when she heard the thud and saw the small indentation in the wall. She closed her eyes and bowed her head down a bit, "sorry.... I never should have told you..." she said before looking up, she whimpered a bit and got up before sitting down on Aki's bed and giving her a small hug, "Sorry. If you want to punch him in the face instead of that undeserving wall, he is always down at the chop shop downtown." She said, trying to calm her friend down.

The girls stayed like that for quite some time, For how long neither of them could say. Aki eventually calmed down and started to hug back. She kept thinking over and over, if she would punch him, he would punch back and probably go home in a bodybag, if she would run away, he would catch her. After a while she just sighed and broke the hug. "It is almost dinner.... You can stay for the night if you want... Thanks for telling me and sorry for shouting at you, I shouldn't have let the anger take control like that." Aki said calmly, standing up.

Rachel nodded slowly, "you should get that hand checked, you did hit the wall pretty hard you know" she said as she stood up and fixed her skirt, "plus I need to go home first, get pajamas and pullups for the night"

Aki giggled a bit, "Its okay, my hand will be better in the morning, that wall is pretty soft, I once made a dent in it because I accidentally kicked it in my sleep." She said, walking a bit forward, "it is okay, you don't have to go get anything, you can call to let know that you will be staying here, Jessica wont be here tonight because she is visiting someone. You don't need pajamas in this heat and we have some here if you are really that desperate and lastly, if you put the tapes on a diaper together you have the finest pullup."

Rachel just sighed at that, "okay... I guess.." she said but giggled a bit, "are you letting me stay because you need another huuuuug~" she said and walk to her friend with her arms wide open.

Aki nodded, "Shuddup!" She said with a giggle as she pushed her away, "You can also take a shower tonight after dinner if you want to"

Rachel smiled and nodded, "talking about showers... can I use your bathroom, I have been holding in for... for some time now" she asked. Upon seeing her friend not and pointing her to the bathroom, Rachel left to the bathroom, leaving Aki alone with her thoughts.

Aki laid down on her bed, there was no way that Karon would go unpunished, she went over every possible option in her head again and again, different thing over different thing but it always circled back to this one undeniable, inescapable option. Aki sat up and nodded a bit, saying it out loud only to confirmed it for herself.

"I... I will have to kill him!

- - - Updated - - -

Of course to keep in law of thissitesrules I will not be writing about anything graphic. Might even have to do it offscreen. But first one thing, I kinda created a poll things to see which romantic option you would like to see. VOTE HERE!